Lana Faye

Here is a YouTube channel that’s been quite helpful

Hi there! Thanks for sharing your experience. I see OCD is spreading over the most important things to me starting from my son, sanity, mind and well, ultimately my ego. It just feeds on any bit of attention we assign to the weird or scary thoughts revolving around the most important things. OCD particularly loves fear, anxiety and pity. It rages in the morning so intensively that I get lost in this vicious cycle of obsessions (bad or weird thoughts) to compulsions (reading more about OCD, talking to others about OCD, scanning your mental space, trying to control the content of the thoughts or substituting a bad thought for a good one). It is just exhausting… literally hell.

🥹🥹🥹 so suffering was necessary and well, basically unavoidable

@LSD-Rumi Thanks! I’ll look into those. May I ask what kind of OCD do you have? Around which themes? Is it Pure O or you have compulsions, too?

OCD runs wild in the morning and afternoon and I occasionally slip into depressive mode but I feel better without antidepressants. Doing psychotherapy, too…lots of shit to go through. I’ve read you are doing great in your recent post happy for you!

Thank you for sharing your experience. The problem with medications is that they don’t treat the root cause of the mental illness however, they surely give you an opportunity to work things through. I personally hated on SSRIs because they made me emotionless and I generally felt like I wasn’t myself.

Antidepressants messed up with my brain a LOT! I feel much better without the medication and my OCD is gone as I allowed my mind to imagine anything it wanted without judgement. Perhaps in your case you needed the meds. Everyone’s case is different. I myself am afraid to try psychedelics though since I’m not mentally stable.

Yes but that did not help much.

Not judging my scary thoughts and not assigning them any meaning has helped greatly. Thank you @Leo Gura

Yes, I’ve also heard that prolactin makes women really anxious after giving birth. Thank you for your kind message. It gets a little better.

My mom told me they broke my collarbone during birth.

I have asked them at the clinic whether they could put me on psychedelics instead but they refused, saying psychedelics are not as well researched as antidepressants. The theory suggests that the chemical imbalance, i.e. lack of serotonin or norepinephrine, causes depression but I don’t think that is true in my case. I was extremely anxious trying to find an answer why I had these pictures of me killing my son. I thought I was going nuts but in fact, when I started the meds, the situation got worse. I guess I’ve experienced the full spectrum of the side effects. I am better off without this shit.

Hey there! How do you feel now? I’m off antidepressants for three days, emotional blunting has gone but I still feel weird…like my consciousness is not the same.

@Richard Purdy Initially (a week after birth) I just had an intense fear of going insane and killing my son. It was absolutely irrational but it was very very intense. The more I tried to explain or analyse the fear, the worse it became. I think I developed ocd because I put too much meaning into my suffering.

@Leo Gura Is OCD a glitch of mind refusing to surrender to its fears?