Pookie

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  1. @Nahm This made me tear. Thank you for your kindness and inspiring words. I really needed some support like this. I’m still anxious for what lies ahead, but I’ll keep moving forward. I definitely feel better now. Thank you.
  2. @Nickyy That’s beautiful. Thank you for this.
  3. @Anna1 Thanks for sharing your experience. You’re right, I can’t keep feeling sorry for myself. I’ll keep fighting.
  4. I am officially lost in life. I don’t really know what’s out there anymore for me. I don’t want to give up, but I’m feeling more hopeless every day. I am pretty scared over this situation I’m at right now. I graduated college in May with a degree I majored in for the wrong reasons. I thought it was secure and wanted to help my family, but I realized too late I’m not passionate about it. I don’t feel aligned. I’m taking the life purpose course right now after all this time. I knew I should have done it when I bought it 3 years ago, but I fucked up. I have no one to blame but myself. I feel like I am at step 0 again in life. As I’m taking the LP course, I’m facing so many inner demons and obstacles. I feel guilty that I can’t help my parents while they’re supporting me and giving me time to recover from this slump. The whole family situation feels like it’s hanging by a thread. It really does feel like I’m dying on the inside every day. The thought of suicide pops up every now and then because I just want another chance to start over, if such a thing is even possible. The only real thing stopping me is the grief I’ll leave behind for my family. At the same time, I know I don’t want to live a life that’s not aligned with a purpose. I always knew I want to help people because I do care for them. I guess that’s a clue so far in this journey. I know it sounds like I’m being pulled in multiple directions. Like I said, I am lost. How do I even cope with this feeling? Has anyone been in a similar situation and pushed through?
  5. If you feel like you have bipolar, don't you think that's something you would want to verify with someone who specializes in this? And even so, don't get too hung up on this label. Work to fix the root of your problem so you never have to face it ever again, even if that means getting help from someone.
  6. I thought I'd share this post I read a while back which reminds me of these recent discussions about Love. https://www.erinpavlina.com/blog/2014/10/is-god-a-personal-being-or-abstract-energy/
  7. @Vinnie Wow I love how open you are about this and not scared of what’s on the other side. And yeah I remember that movie. The higher planes must be pretty amazing then. And wow that demon thing sounds pretty rad and scary at the same time!
  8. @Vinnie I appreciate your kind words! 😊 My experiences sound similar to yours. Most of them are brief. If i don’t focus, I snap back into my body almost instantly and I remain paralyzed. But when they aren’t, I don’t go to any higher or lower realms. I’ve only stayed on the current plane of my everyday existence and just explored around outside my body. But I still manage to attract lower entities because of my own lower vibrational energy lol. For instance, one time I found myself outside my body and I entered a room only to find on the other side what I can only guess was a demon. It was a dark terrifying looking thing with red eyes and an evil presence. It was robbing me of my energy by me just looking at it. I think it does this by conjuring up an intense fear in me. Very unpleasant. The more I was looking at it, the harder it became to look away and flee. But then I called out for help and it went away. I felt this warm glowing white light fall over me and all the energy that was taken from me felt like it was returned through this light. And again, there was the angelic trace that I always interpret as help that came. I’m glad I was able to share this with someone who understands what it’s like! Most people I try to share this with either think I’m crazy or just think it’s silly and don’t believe me. I can’t blame them. I would love to hear more about your experiences and what the different astrals are like!
  9. I hear the best way to fight them is through raising your vibrational energy. Through emotions like love, compassion, gratitude, and joy. I gotta work more on this
  10. Hi everyone, I have been experiencing paranormal phenomena for quite some time in my journey towards self-actualization/awakening, namely astral projection and lucid dreaming. I feel like sharing these experiences here will help me process and integrate them, and I hope that sharing this will also help fellow actualizers too or anyone reading this. This experience happened in a lucid dream this morning. I was just minding my own business, surrounded by friends and family in that dream, when suddenly this woman starts to hug and caress me, eventually leading me to have sex with her. It did not feel natural. It was like she was forcing herself on me. I had a gut feeling this woman was actually the so called "succubus", which I have encountered in past lucid dreams and astral projections. In all my encounters, I would always fight them off and scream for help, namely calling out for Archangel Michael, which always works. I learned this technique from reading The Astral Projection Guidebook by Erin Pavlina, which I highly recommend. The succubus would always disappear as soon as I called out for Michael. So if anyone does happen come across a hostile low vibrational entity, a very helpful tip is to call out for Michael. I know it sounds ridiculous, but this always seems to work, at least for me. But this time, I guess I was thinking too much with my dick. I wanted to entertain what was happening just for a slight moment. I was letting it lead me to have sex with it, even though I strongly suspected what it was. I wanted to see how it would feel even for a second to have sex with this creature. As soon as I did, an enormous amount of pleasure occurred, just as Pavlina's book talked about. But the book also talks about the malevolent nature of these creatures and how they rob you of your energy. This ridiculous amount of pleasure is exactly what makes people give in to these creatures and let the succubus rob their energy. Now that I knew what it felt like, I immediately told myself to stop, but once I tried to stop, the woman suddenly turned into a demonic looking creature with a crazy and depraved look in its eyes. It wasn't letting me go no matter how hard I fought. Finally, I called out for Michael, but much to my surprise and horror, I was still in the grip of this creature. Finally, after some delay, the creature went away and all I was left in my vision was this luminous trace of an angel. It looked like a person with wings, so I suppose help did arrive albeit late. I can only speculate as to why this delay happened. The book talks about how our higher spiritual angels that protect us give us autonomy to do what we want. If we want to be attacked by a demon or have sex with a succubus, they give us complete freedom and will not intervene until we finally call out for help. So even though I penetrated into this succubus for only a second, I had voluntarily made a choice and the higher spirits recognized that. Maybe they wanted me to learn from my mistake. The delay never happened to me before because I had always fought these creatures off without ever giving in to them. So in conclusion, if you happen to unlock abilities like astral projection or lucid dreaming even if you never intended to, as is the case for me, be responsible about it and maybe do a little bit of research so you stay safe. Resist temptation when it comes to encountering a succubus or an incubus. These things are pretty damn powerful and will leave a toll on you Thanks for reading and I hope this may be of some use to anyone somehow!
  11. For those of you in college interested in spirituality and practices like meditation, concentration, contemplation, self-inquiry, psychedelic use, shamanic breathing exercises, eating healthy, reading personal development books, even positive affirmations, prepare to suffer in an otherwise inhospitable environment for the likes of you. You will be judged, you will be ostracized, you will be the “weird kid”, you will be treated differently because guess what, you are different, and I’m not sure if that is a good thing. You will not get to experience what it is like to relate to the majority of college kids who spend their time literally doing nothing but the following: gossiping, going out and drinking excessively, smoking weed, posting on the snapchat and other social media, doing god knows what else. I got asked if I could get someone cocaine because I am acquainted with psychedelics, and this just made me laugh. They are not even in the same ballpark. Don’t get me wrong, I have been guilty of doing some of these things, and I am not proud of my past indulgences, but I as I try to become better than my former self in this personal development/spiritual journey, I realize these things are fundamentally hollow, immature, and overall not worthwhile. It both amazes and saddens me (or more like frustrates me) that not one person I have met during my final college semester is even at the slightest following a path similar to mine. It becomes frustratingly difficult to relate to my peer group. I do not mean to sound arrogant or even think that I am better than anyone, but this personal development journey has made me judgmental, even somewhat misanthropic, towards my college peers. I can’t help but see them as immature, loud, and obnoxious children. Hell, some children I know are not even as bad as they are. I did not intend to mean that this will be the case for everyone in college interested in spiritual/personal development. This just happens to be the case for me, though I suspect many can probably relate and I would not be surprised if so. Regardless, I just wanted to vent my frustrations in hopes that anyone who can relate or who moved on post-college can tell me that it gets better and that I will not be forced to put up and live with such people that wear me out. I would appreciate any advice. Even criticism is welcomed. Maybe I myself am doing something wrong. Thanks for reading.
  12. @winterknight To answer your question about psychedelics, maybe, but I don't think so completely. It had been a week since my 210 ug LSD trip, and usually the experience lasts 12-24 hours, but I was experiencing these phenomena a whole week after this trip. I've been experiencing more recently a state of constant flow or oneness after this trip, but that's about it.
  13. @winterknight I hope this doesn't sound crazy, but I've been experiencing what I can only describe as paranormal phenomena. I seriously don't know what else to call it. It feels like I am stuck in time loops, time paradoxes, glimpses of astral projection, sometimes even clairvoyance and finally just being able to feel people's energy. I want to understand more about these things happening. Any ideas?