Pookie

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About Pookie

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  • Birthday 10/22/1997

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  1. Hey Leo, I sincerely hope your health is improving because I know mine isn't. Spiritual pain is indeed an insidious malaise that'll eat at you for years. I don't wish it on anyone. I know this a bit too well. As for exploring consciousness, from my experience, I can tell you that there are roads that indeed some do not travel. You yourself know this, taking the road of 5-MeO to see how deep you can go in this pioneering endeavor. As for myself, I can tell you it is possible to glimpse your True Self and then reach a crossroads, knowing in your heart that you finally found your Self and finally wish to submerge yourself in Your Self. It is possible to be so curious that you can make the conscious choice to fall back asleep, not necessarily because you are not serious about exploring consciousness, but because you are just too curious for your own damn good. This was the biggest self-deception of my life for which I still suffer to this day. You ever seen the movie The Truman Show? At the end where Truman is about to exit the "fake world", imagine you were Truman thinking to yourself, "What if Truman makes the choice to peek inside, know in his heart he wants to exit, but then says, 'Nah, what would happen if I just go back to being in the Truman Show? Wouldn't that be funny? There is nothing stopping me from doing that for absolutely no reason other than to see what happens. After all, I see that it exists as a possibility. Fuck it, let's do it!'" The audience will boo at you, and you go back to being in the Truman Show, with the intuition that something is horribly wrong. You can even feel Spirit leaving you, behaving again out of instinct and ungodly. In my case I have fallen into depravity, paranoia, depression, and anxiety. It's a terrible thing to do to your avatar. It'll go back to sleep and behave ungodly. but this time with the intuition that something has gone horribly wrong. The Truman Show will feel more like hell. It was around this time that my grandparents died and Trump got elected (lol). And now the epidemic is severe in my hometown. And why am I writing this? Really, as a cautionary tale as I sincerely do not wish this on anybody. You as God can experience literally anything and everything. Whether you should is another matter and entirely up to you. In the exploration of consciousness, I don't recommend it. Your inner world and outer world will become destroyed. If you want to experience a psychological horror twisted thriller, even your own Will allows you to do so. I did indeed peek at the door, spit at the other side, and slam the door on God's face. I'm really struggling now to get back. Indeed, Curiosity killed the cat. As for whether satisfaction will bring it back, I shall see.
  2. The irony of all of this is that man yearns to become God, and God yearns to become man. The Cosmic Joke in a nutshell. You are what you are seeking. You sleep, then you awaken. Ad infinitum. Nothing else to do.
  3. @The Lucid Dreamer I woke up in lucid dreams flying a few times. Those are fun. Doesn't last long though. My concentration is not developed enough to ponder existentially in the lucid dreams.
  4. Maybe the counter-intuitive conclusion to draw from this is not that, because he's never said it, he isn't as awake as he personifies. Maybe it's just so obvious to him that he doesn't even need to say it lol. It's like that Tao quote that goes something like, "The eternal Tao is silent. He who knows does not speak. He who speaks does not know."
  5. @PlayTheGame I don't doubt that Leo has reached the states of consciousness he talks about. But it seems unaligned to me too this need for a spiritual teacher to be saying his counterparts aren't as awake as he. What good does that do, to delegitimize them with saying they're not awake? They're trying to help the world in their own way too. I don't know man, but I feel like it creates the effect that as far as absolute awakening is concerned, you should heed Leo's word over the other "unawakened" spiritual teachers, thus diverting the attention from them to him. Spiritual competition is what it looks like. You're right that it doesn't seem to be in the spirit of this forum.
  6. @Emerald I agree with you to trust your own intuition to figure out what it is that you want, enlightenment or otherwise. After all, there is no rush. You have all of eternity to figure yourself out. That you know you want to orient your life around those close to you reminds me of the quote, "If you want to go quickly, go alone. If you want to go far, go together."
  7. I want to share this experience I had when I was a kid, maybe 4 or 5 years old. I had a moment of self-awareness at this age, wondering what the hell this is and where it comes from. I’m sure a lot of us especially in this forum have had these moments as a kid. I remember completely being in the here. I also wondered what is this ringing noise that seems to emanate everywhere I go, not seeming to arise anywhere external but inside my head instead. I was such a curious (and possibly disturbed) child that I wanted to know whether this awareness as well as this sound goes away If I physically go away, in the sense that I kill my body. I remember going to the kitchen to grab a knife and approaching it towards me. I remember telling myself, “What’s actually stopping me from killing myself? There aren’t any rules to that. What if I just do it?” Feeling scared and anxious, I thought, “Oh my God, I’m actually doing this.” I do it, and the awareness literally changes scenes and wires itself such that I could not remember what happens between the moment I harmed myself and waking up at a different time. I don’t know how else to describe it besides a blacking-out moment, and nobody in my family seems to even be aware as to what happened. It’s very strange, yet this is what I remember. Everything resumed as normal. The show went on, as if the event never even happened. Still, I do feel like I may have shifted to a lower, alternate realm, because I definitely remember feeling weaker and the atmosphere of my environment darker. Kinda like the movie Happy Death Day, where every time she wakes up after dying repeatedly, she’s feeling weaker and weaker. My experience definitely makes me give credence to films like that, as well as Vanilla Sky. By no means am I advocating harming oneself for experimentation. For all I know, my body could have indeed died in one world and my essence simply traversed to an alternate, similar dimension to continue its journey. For all I know, my loved ones could be mourning me in that old dimension, and that makes me sad to think about. Still, I don’t know exactly how consciousness reconciles itself to make its human form who committed suicide “return” somehow, especially if it’s accidental or not one’s time yet. Does it rewind itself up until that incident and insert an event specifically intended to prevent that person from going through the action? Does it make the person simply wake up from bed in the middle of the night recalling the incident as just a bad dream? This incident makes me wonder about the mechanics of lifetimes. Could lifetimes work not only such that you can incarnate as completely different people, but also such that you can incarnate as different versions of the same person you currently are, akin to Nietzsche's Eternal Recurrence. I'd love to hear discussion about this. Much love.
  8. Eh, this varies a lot I think. For me it was intense emotional suffering over a long time. I was lucky I then found resources online such as this one to make sense of it. But also, I do think some people may have a predisposition to awareness at an early age. Why? Maybe many lifetime experiences.
  9. Maybe because you still don’t want to believe it fully. That there are no other people. Not even your parents. It’s just you. Forever. You are orchestrating this entire play that we call Life. It’s a tough pill to swallow, but swallow it you must if you really want to accept the truth.
  10. It's analogous to what he said in the video as to why reality isn't constantly morphing, e.g., why your hand isn't randomly changing into a tentacle or a claw or a wing. Reality creates itself a certain way as part of its design. I'm sure it could design itself in such a way that a rock or water can make you trip and change your dials of awareness as you say, but then that would technically be the psychedelic, wouldn't it? If that were the case, you can pose the same question regarding the psychedelics you're currently familiar with, e.g., "Why isn't ingesting this mushroom making me trip?"
  11. @wk197 Also, I did have a spiritual reading done by her through email a while back. Since I trusted her, I didn't think $150 was egregious for the reading she gave me. I'd say it was worth it.
  12. It's hard to say with anyone in this business whether they're the real deal or not. You can't really verify unless you are that person. All you've got is your own discernment. With that said, I do believe Erin has some validity in the work she does based on my own experiences with the paranormal, namely astral projection. When it first started happening to me spontaneously, I bought her book on astral projection to make sense of it, and pretty much every sensation that I experienced was mentioned in detail in her book. So it's hard for me to chalk it up to mere coincidence. So yeah, use your best judgement.
  13. If you feel like you have bipolar, don't you think that's something you would want to verify with someone who specializes in this? And even so, don't get too hung up on this label. Work to fix the root of your problem so you never have to face it ever again, even if that means getting help from someone.
  14. I thought I'd share this post I read a while back which reminds me of these recent discussions about Love. https://www.erinpavlina.com/blog/2014/10/is-god-a-personal-being-or-abstract-energy/
  15. @Vinnie Wow I love how open you are about this and not scared of what’s on the other side. And yeah I remember that movie. The higher planes must be pretty amazing then. And wow that demon thing sounds pretty rad and scary at the same time!