Giulio Bevilacqua

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Posts posted by Giulio Bevilacqua

  1. Posted

    In meditation you go through what you need to go through. No one has to tell you anything. God is the only therapist. If you have God or the Truth as your therapist, you can not do better. The only fee God wants is surrender to Him.

    You can say Her if you prefer. The Goddess is Truth. Truth is the way things actually are no matter what perspective you take. You just let meditation happen whatever way it wants. Let His will be done, not yours.

    Surrender, then, is to choose to let God, the Truth, or whatever you want to call it, guide your body, feelings, and mind, your thoughts and attention. You will be lead you through the most fascinating, exciting, sometimes boring and even terrifying journey to to union with the Truth.


    By surrendering to the life energy, the body can naturally go through what it needs to go through in Natural Yoga. It does not become tired. The mind goes through what it needs to go through so it does not become stuck or frustrated trying to control the attention. And the feelings can flow when they are ready; when they are not ready, nothing happens. So just let it be.

    One can do many hours of Natural Yoga over long periods of months and years. The serious aspirant can devote his or her whole life to this activity. Four to eight hours a day spent in meditation is not unusual for a serious practitioner of Natural Yoga

  2. Posted

     

    I am stuck in the same loop in my kundalini awakening, I can't pierce though this block stored in my lower body root and sacral.

    I am thinking to take some substance and see if it can help to open up this knot. Quite scared it may be an energy explosion for the body but I am tired with this situation. 

    What would be a good substance that helps to heal more on a physical basic level ? Not something like lsd I know it operates more on the mind level. 

    I was thinking on ayahuasca but again I am not sure how safe it is to do it during a Kundalini awakening. I feel that this block is relative to fear of body death and dissolution. 

    Has anyone an idea about this things ? 

    Thank you 

  6. Posted

    3 hours ago, Dumuzzi said:

    Another resource to check out is the r/kundalini subreddit:

    https://www.reddit.com/r/kundalini/wiki/index

    Violent Kriyas can be hard to handle. They are caused by pent-up energy trying to escape from the body, a bit like a balloon you let go of and it starts thrashing all over the place.

    The best approach is to deflate the balloon slowly and gradually so to speak, through controlled Kriyas. You have to practice this during meditation, allow Kriyas to manifest in a controlled manner whilst you keep a firm grip over their intensity and manner of manifestation. It's all about control. 

    If you ask me, combining SR and smoking weed was a very bad move, you fucked up big time and now you're suffering the consequences. Anything you can do to deflate built up energy should help. 

    But if the energy is trying to express it self through whirling why should I try to control it ? I thought that I has a innate intelligence and knows what is best. Am I wrong ? 

  13. Posted

    7 minutes ago, Inliytened1 said:

    @Giulio Bevilacqua  this sounds like an anxiety disorder.  Talk to a psychiatrist and maybe get on some meds for anxiety.   When the anxiety goes away the kundalini energy you awakened will come under control and be blissful not a nightmare.   When you start feeling better you can get off the meds.  The meds don't have to be a life long thing but for the time being it can definitely help alleviate anxiety that is out of control so you can have a productive life.

    The anxiety came because I got so scared of this motion, and have never been able to surrender to it fully. I think it’s a quite and natural body expression, even children do it. 

  14. Posted

    5 hours ago, Kksd74628 said:

    @Giulio Bevilacqua

    As you said yourself, you need need to surrender and remember that surrending is not bad thing. Many people have hidden assumption that surrending means lose, but actually that belief comes, because people only surrender when they have to. For example when you listen good music you could surrender to its beauty and that is completely positive thing, you see?

    If you think for example that I am stealing something from you when I am close to you - when in reality I am not stealing - you will always suffer from thinking that you need to defend yourself. Same goes to kundalini awakening, you need to let the belief that something bad is happening go away and then you can enjoy the eupforia that it gives to you.

    You have theories that what could happen when you let go, but do you actually know what would happen. Maybe the joke is that nothing would happen, who knows? How can I enjoy life anymore when I am constantly in extacy when I relax my body? What type of question is that :D I would advice you just NOW go and let go fully, relax and take assumptions that something bad will happen away.

    After that come HERE to tell me what happened. Remember that this which you suppress will grow. It's like man who wants to come inside and you don't open the door and he will just knock the door stronger, because after all his message is so loving that he wants to show you. Don't expect that he gets bored waiting, because that will never happen, before you take the message and he can leave, because his job is done.

    -joNi-

    I found this today 

    694723A3-6EE9-47D5-A3D2-44430DACB253.jpeg

  15. Posted · Edited by Giulio Bevilacqua
    Forgot adding

    I think I had it since childhood.

    But the main manifestation happened last year. I lost interest  in sexuality so I did not ejaculate for 5 months. Along with that I was consistently practicing tai chi Qi gong, and often I was smoking weed. One night before sleeping I fall into an empty space. The day after many symptoms appeared, like shaking and mudras and increased awareness, than this motion started to manifest. 
    @happyhappy

  16. Posted

    Much time has passed since my Kundalini activity, around 1 year now.

    I am loosing hope, but still trying to cope with this process. it’s so challenging. 
    I am writing just to express my self and sharing. 
    The most difficult thing is the spontaneous energy movement that the body goes in the moment I start just relaxing, whirling and spinning very fast like a Sufi dervish in a clockwise direction. It’s a healing movement, but I can’t cope with the speed and violence, I allow even the body to fall on the floor like a dead leaf, but the thing is not over and have to start again. 
    If I decide to do other activities it feels so miserable, like swimming against a river because I have always to control and tense the body in order to not whirl.
    Need always to walk some kilometres to reach a grass field where to allow the body to do its thing, can’t do it in my room 

    My anxiety is very strong because I think I will not come out of this situation. 
    I just wish to enjoy my life again, playing music or just have a job.

    sometimes I get suicidal, not because I am depressed or whatever but because it’s so difficult situation and wasting my youth in this awakening process.

    I fear it so much , sometimes I can’t get out of bed in the morning because I know the hole horror story will start again so I try to distract myself with sleep or with social media. Why all this ? 
    I know i just need to push through this whirling with more trust and giving away every concern about the body, but damn god why all this struggle and pain  

     

  23. Posted · Edited by Giulio Bevilacqua
    Adding

    Hi everyone. 
    By now I have tried many approaches and techniques but none of them seem working effectively. I have tried Tara Springett methods, crystals, meditation.

    The discomfort is too much in the stomach and sacral area .I surrender as much as I can  to it but then comes a time were it is unbearable. I am getting afraid of it because I do not see any improvement since months now and my concern for life is growing about what I will be or do in the future if my conditions remain as this. Life is not more enjoyable with this stuff.

    Trying too see if there are beliefs hidden in my psyche but the stuff is so deeply rooted that no thought come to the surface and can not see what those blocks are about.

    I am planning to do a 3 days intensive Shaktipat with Jan Esmann, that is my last pill. 
     

    have you any idea or tips for this stuff ? Thank you very much 

  24. Posted

    I am sick of this shit, I do not know where this patience of going forward is coming from. 
    This K energy is breaking me in all ways. 
    I feel this massive tension/knot in my lower stomach, it is filled up with worry and anxiety, sometimes it gets very strong pressure. I have tried some many things like microdosing lsd, didn’t felt anything, a Kundalini Healing course with crystals and kind of things. 
    I try to be present with the sensation without resisting it or seeing which believes are triggering this shit, feel some relief but there comes a point where it is overwhelmingly strong and loose hope. It’s a loop of worry. Feeling of worry > tension> more tension about the tension>fear that this will not pass>more fear about the tension that is growing and so on. 
     

    The body wants to release this trough a whirling movement in a crazy speed. I am just searching for an alternative way but worrying that there is no one and this creates more fear..

    I do not know how to get out of this hell