Giulio Bevilacqua

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Everything posted by Giulio Bevilacqua

  1. I am afraid and really terrified. It takes a lot of loving trust and surrender to life's intelligence. I did other posts about my kundalini situation. As the energy awakes within your system the body starts performing spontaneous body movements that are designed for clearing your energy system from accumulated imprints. In my case the body starts whirling and spinning like a dervish very fast. I have come close where the speed would take over completely over the body but shortly I stopped willingly because it scared the hell out of me. I feel very good after but still not able to let go completely. I feel it would be the end. I am afraid of the void I am scared like a child that has lost his mother in the woods. It's a turning point where one can't go back. It's just about trust and trust. But damn god it's brutally challenging. Facing the fear of one's death and dissolution .... I am afraid
  2. It is more powerful and intelligent than your attempt to concentrate. See if you stop concentrate and focus you have to start again and the effects vanishes .
  3. Thanks Brother. Yes its llike taking a jump into a black hole. Now swaying between resistance and surrender
  4. You can not control Kundalini. Kundalini controls you. Kundalini is the end of all control and effort. It's the ultimate path of surrender to God's will.
  5. That is totally wrong. Kundalini is divine intelligence and can't go back by any forceful attempt or method. It can become more dangerous if you are not willing to surrender to her or trying to fix her.
  6. Yes I agree. Beautiful
  7. It is said that before entering the sea a river trembles with fear. She looks back at the path she has traveled, from the peaks of the mountains, the long winding road crossing forests and villages. And in front of her, she sees an ocean so vast, that to enter there seems nothing more than to disappear forever. But there is no other way. The river can not go back. Nobody can go back. To go back is impossible in existence. The river needs to take the risk of entering the ocean because only then will fear disappear, because that’s where the river will know it’s not about disappearing into the ocean, but of becoming the ocean. Khalil gibran
  8. Check out on Facebook the group. -Kundalini awakening guidance and support -
  9. Thanks brother. Could you tell me something more about it
  10. Definitely terrifying. It's the end. Finito
  11. Are you doing any spiritual/energetic practices? Head pressures could sometimes be some Kundalini arousal symptoms
  12. Thank you. This stuff is so fascinating to read
  13. In meditation you go through what you need to go through. No one has to tell you anything. God is the only therapist. If you have God or the Truth as your therapist, you can not do better. The only fee God wants is surrender to Him. You can say Her if you prefer. The Goddess is Truth. Truth is the way things actually are no matter what perspective you take. You just let meditation happen whatever way it wants. Let His will be done, not yours. Surrender, then, is to choose to let God, the Truth, or whatever you want to call it, guide your body, feelings, and mind, your thoughts and attention. You will be lead you through the most fascinating, exciting, sometimes boring and even terrifying journey to to union with the Truth. By surrendering to the life energy, the body can naturally go through what it needs to go through in Natural Yoga. It does not become tired. The mind goes through what it needs to go through so it does not become stuck or frustrated trying to control the attention. And the feelings can flow when they are ready; when they are not ready, nothing happens. So just let it be. One can do many hours of Natural Yoga over long periods of months and years. The serious aspirant can devote his or her whole life to this activity. Four to eight hours a day spent in meditation is not unusual for a serious practitioner of Natural Yoga
  14. I am stuck in the same loop in my kundalini awakening, I can't pierce though this block stored in my lower body root and sacral. I am thinking to take some substance and see if it can help to open up this knot. Quite scared it may be an energy explosion for the body but I am tired with this situation. What would be a good substance that helps to heal more on a physical basic level ? Not something like lsd I know it operates more on the mind level. I was thinking on ayahuasca but again I am not sure how safe it is to do it during a Kundalini awakening. I feel that this block is relative to fear of body death and dissolution. Has anyone an idea about this things ? Thank you
  15. Much time has passed since my Kundalini activity, around 1 year now. I am loosing hope, but still trying to cope with this process. it’s so challenging. I am writing just to express my self and sharing. The most difficult thing is the spontaneous energy movement that the body goes in the moment I start just relaxing, whirling and spinning very fast like a Sufi dervish in a clockwise direction. It’s a healing movement, but I can’t cope with the speed and violence, I allow even the body to fall on the floor like a dead leaf, but the thing is not over and have to start again. If I decide to do other activities it feels so miserable, like swimming against a river because I have always to control and tense the body in order to not whirl. Need always to walk some kilometres to reach a grass field where to allow the body to do its thing, can’t do it in my room My anxiety is very strong because I think I will not come out of this situation. I just wish to enjoy my life again, playing music or just have a job. sometimes I get suicidal, not because I am depressed or whatever but because it’s so difficult situation and wasting my youth in this awakening process. I fear it so much , sometimes I can’t get out of bed in the morning because I know the hole horror story will start again so I try to distract myself with sleep or with social media. Why all this ? I know i just need to push through this whirling with more trust and giving away every concern about the body, but damn god why all this struggle and pain
  16. Yes absolutely. I was 12 years old when i first played the drums. I was so excited to play it. As i hit the drums i went into a state of trance/explosion. I was very young and did not know what it was and felt quite normal about it. Lately i discovered that that event triggered my Kundalini energy
  17. Hi. I would suggest natural surrender yoga. You surrender your will over your body and mind. Your body will move as it wants to moves. It has the natural intelligence to heal it self without forceful techniques that could prevent a total and clear healing. Spontaneous body movements will clear the stuck energies from your body in the best and natural way possibile
  18. Maybe this can help
  19. But if the energy is trying to express it self through whirling why should I try to control it ? I thought that I has a innate intelligence and knows what is best. Am I wrong ?
  20. Yes i mainly did echography/scan test in different parts of the body. Especially two times in my stomach area. They could not find anything
  21. If i get through this challenge, i'll invite you all to Italy
  22. Thank you guys. I appreciate your support. Thank you very much to all of you.