@ravlondon Yeah, I've seen that clip. That's the right attitude. He's just being too creepy and no charm.
But yeah, you gotta be an approach machine. High volume. You fish using a net, not a single hook.
You gotta be persistent like he is, and you gotta have a light-hearted attitude. Notice how he doesn't judge himself or even register rejection. A rejection is literally nothing. He's just having fun and taking it easy. That is absolutely essential. You cannot take this shit seriously. You basically must place zero investment in the girl until she's ready to sleep with you.

I found this video that talks about how to attract girls that you think are more physically attractive than you. What are your thoughts on the points in this video. Do you actually think it is possible? 
 
 

I'll give you a little history about me to try to lay out my confusion.
I used to be a nerd and play computer games all the time when I was in school. I didn't socialize and didn't need to. I had 1 or 2 good friends at the same time and that was enough. I masturbated more and more with porn becoming extremer every year. Eventually I masturbated to the most extreme porn while being high. In a sense I overdid it really hard. It has taken years to reduce the frequency and turn the porn and drug usage down. Recently I have actually gotten the point that I don't watch porn anymore. If I masturbate, I do it without any visual stimulation. It was actually a flatmate that motivated me to quit porn all together. I wanted to be as horny as possible when having sex with her. After a few times of having sex my brain seemed to have switched to sex mode and porn makes no sense anymore. It is as if the possibility of masturbating to it is gone. It is just not an option anymore.
I have changed a lot since I have been a part of actualized.org. I do sport, I am well built and lean. I am more charismatic and playful. 
When I go into a club I dance to loose myself completely. I go full out and don't care about anyone or anything. I try to let the music completely fill me. This also has the side effect that I don't care about women. In fact my style of dancing doesn't allow for another person to be in it. It is almost as if I am enjoying being alone too much. It is easier, much much easier if I don't care. In a way I prefer how music makes me feel to how a woman makes me feel. 
I don't drink much in the club, so I notice when girls look at me and smile. I also notice when they come closer to dance with me. I know that they wanted to dance when they leave disappointed and try to get away from me because I ignore them. I get the impression that it feels like a rejection to a girl if she feels that I look at her with interest, but don't engage.
I never had to do anything to get the girls I had sex with. Never had to approach. I never cared enough to do so. On the other hand I wonder if my attitude would change once I started to approach. Once I get a positive experience my mind might switch to approach mode more often. Just like it switched from masturbation/porn mode to sex mode. 
I was in the club yesterday and this girl looks at me multiple times and comes closer. I say hi and eventually get her name. She was good looking, but I still left. I didn't really want to engage. 
I don't know and its probably difficult to tell from what I have written. I am not sure if I am doing the right thing or if I am bullshitting myself. 
I am the type of person that waits and waits and waits. When I do martial arts I seldomly attack. I react to the opponent and when he hits me too hard I start moving and attacking. If I don't have to do something, I wait until I have to or the pain of resisting has become unbearable. 
It is a similar situation with girls. I notice that there is interest and all I need to do is open my mouth or turn towards her when dancing. I don't. 
In a sense I am a bit confused in which direction I want to go. I have read many books on sexuality and now I don't know anymore:
If I follow Alan Roger Currie, I would approach more girls I am attracted in order to have more casual sex with girls. Then there is Rollo Tomassi and the "rational male". Have sex with many women and don't engage in exclusive relationships. There is no special girl. -> I am not sure what to make of this tbh. If I listen to David Deida I would go for a long term relationship. I could potentially attend more yoga/spiritual events to meet more girls that are more open. On the other end there is "Cupid's Poisoned Arrow", which advocates gentle sex without orgasm. I would love to have a girl to try that with, as I enjoy being intimate, the buildup, foreplay and cuddling more than the orgasm.  So the current state of my attitude towards sex is:
I don't care about the orgasm. I enjoy the intimate connection, touching and so forth.  I only want to orgasm with a girl I care about. For me random girls would be a waste of energy. A few months ago I made a "soulmate wishlist". It includes traits like being open, curious, strong feminine core, being interested in me, interested in music, keeping me on edge and creativity. A club might not be the best location to find such a girl. I hope that someone can at least give me some ideas/advice to help me decide in which direction I should invest my energy 

While listening to the most recent video where Leo was addressing some questions and listing a load of things that were an illusion, brains, family members etc, something inside me just broke and the past 24 hours I have been without sleep and have mostly been feeling a sadness so strong that it was also morphing back and forward between fear and anxiety. I got the impression that solipsism is true and there is nothing but me. There were a few short intervals where the depression would vanish and my appetite would come back but it has returned again. I have never felt so low in my life and depressive episodes are rare with me. I just feel that life has had its entire meaning destroyed.
Have I got this wrong because it seems to contradict one of the metaphors Leo came up with where we are like the bubbles in a sponge, the sponge being consciousness and the empty spaces being us. It also seems to contradict what Rupert Spira said about love being the recognition of OUR shared being. Please can anyone offer some deeper insight as I am in a really dark place just now, feeling that I am close to going totally insane.

For example I am contemplating Resistance.
I already know what it is as an idea or a premade answer in my mind.
Then I write down: it is the opposite of acceptence. Ego resists because it helps it to survive. Resistance is caused by not letting go, which includes not letting go of the joy and suffering.
I resist the passing of joy and the comming of suffering.
At the same time, I don't resist the ordinary grey stuff.
I don't resist the things that are between joy and suffering. Grey stuff.
 
Obviously these are just ideas that i knew before contemplating. Here is where I do my ultimate trick: Why the hell am I wasting time on contemplating.
 
The goal of contemplation is deconstruction of beliefs and ideas and reaching not knowing, and see the things as they truly are.
But how can I do that when I already assume I know the answer and I can't even see them as beliefs? Because the ideas that I wrote about resistance make sense for me and I can see them in first hand experience examples.

I'm not sure this can be explained, you really have to just wake up.
Time is a conceptual projection, something you are imagining. You were indoctrinated into believing in time as a child. If you can recall, clocks made no sense until you were indoctrinated to believe in them. Since time is just an imaginary idea, in point of fact, you can become conscious that this moment, and every moment is eternal. Which means it has existed FOREVER! Imagine that reality is one giant solid block of stuff all occurring simultaneously and it has existed forever. This very moment has been here for over 100 trillion trillion trillion years. But you're not conscious of it because your mind is preoccupied with relative survival. Your mind filters out the eternal truth of the present moment because it is irrelevant to your survival. All your mind cares about is differences between moments, not the truth of the actual present moment. Because survival is a relative activity. All you care about is time relative to your imagined birth and death. You care about what time lunch is so you can fill your belly with food and live another day. It does not matter to your mind that that food has existed for eternity. It also doesn't matter to your mind that that food is a hallucination. Since your life is also a hallucination, you feed off of hallucinations.
Just look around you. It's pure magic. You're just so jaded and so preoccupied with surviving to live another day -- to get your personal needs met -- to notice the radiant, divine, intelligent, beauty of being.
This cannot be understood until you awaken. Perhaps go look at a sunset and you'll feel a tiny fraction of it.
Or better yet, take a psychedelic, since you're so disconnected from being, you are like a zombie. The psychedelic will bring you back to life (at least for a little while).

Hey there!
I'm sure you already have a list of FAQs for part 2 of "What is God?", but I thought there might be a chance some of these could be missing and worthwhile:
What are direct experiences like after the first one? Let's say 2000 hours of meditation got you the first, do you need another 2000 for the next? Can it be done at will? Does it get faster and faster with practice? Or maybe just having one experience is all you need because you only need to align yourself once? What happens when a direct experience occurs? Does the mind shut down and something that is always there "seen" or does Whatever-That-Is just crashes through ego? Are those 2000 hours of meditation just to shut up the ego or is God playing shy and there's a random factor involved in revealing itself or not? What "senses" stuff beyond/before the 6 senses (aka 5 senses + mind), is it just "Awareness being aware of itself"? Is "our reality" being a dream in God's mind just an analogy? Can Realization happen spontaneously? For example the other day at work I was walking while thinking about metaphysics and I just felt like there was something around me I should be aware of but couldn't figure out what. I understand these are intellectual questions and wouldn't be offended if none was covered in your follow-up. I hope they're not so ignorant to cause despair.
Cheers!

@Emerald What you're missing is that attraction is not a rational choice.
See, you're evaluating this whole situation theoretically, which is not at all how it works in real life. In real life, if a well-dressed, nice-looking guy with a big smile, confidence, and swagger stopped you while you were walking down the street and told you he found you attractive and had a fun conversation with you, all of your logic would fly out the window. It doesn't matter if he's "using a pickup line" on 100 other girls. A good approach is a good approach. The line is irrelevant. The words never matter. It's all in the tone and body language. You would be flattered, your self-esteem would be boosted, and maybe you'd get attracted to him. Attraction is never a guarantee. Often the chemistry just doesn't happen. But attraction is not something you logically decide upon. It happens near-instantly based on deep subconscious cues. Attraction happens within 5 minutes. Within 5 minutes the girl determines and demonstrates whether she's willing to sleep with the guy. The rest is just comfort-building. But she is not conscious of any of this. It all happens automatically.
What you're not factoring into your theory is that that guy could actually attract you! If you're being fake polite, etc. that means he hasn't succeeded in attracting you. You've succeeding in rejecting him. His job was to bust through your automatic knee-jerk defense mechanism. He must do that through charm, confidence, and humor, not through meeting any logical criteria you have. Obviously if you're already married with a kid, you are much less open to approaches. But consider if you were single. (BTW, if the guy knows what he's doing, he'll check your finger for a wedding ring before even approaching you).
Attraction is a very counter-intuitive thing. Be careful underestimating it or logically analyzing it. There is zero logic in attraction. It does not happen based on any rational standards that you may think you have. Which is precisely why girls easily get attracted to scrubs who abuse them, and yet the girl only gets more attracted!
And even if an approach is a nuisance, this cannot be avoided because the guy has to approach the girl because the girl will almost never approach the guy. Yes, the girl incurs the cost of a creepy approach. On the other hand, the girl is freed of the hell that is approaching. You girls have no idea what it takes to make a natural approach or to be rejected dozen times in a row. You should be thankful you don't have to do it.
It is the guy's job to approach and the girl's job to screen him for quality. That is how human mating works. Not unlike the courtship rituals of birds.
Part of the cost of being a hot girl is that you will get approach a lot. That's both a blessing and curse. And you're not going to change that. Guys are wired to approach you. And you're wired to screen them.
The thing with approaching is that it's not supposed to work 95% of the time. 5% is all it takes for love to happen It is just like sales. And sales works precisely because people buy.

I'm going out at events and parties, and I've had two dates with two girls I've met at these parties. But I think I'm still too stifled and embarassed to really get some results right now.
Apart from this, I notice that these girls I'm meeting tend to be attracted A LOT by these "sex addicts" who are getting a lot of sex without even putting the effort to meet people, learn more empathy, and self actualize (which triggers me a lot).
---> Do girls care so much if you are having a lot of meaningless sex, to be attracted to you?
It seems to me that the fact that I've only had two girlfriends and that I'm all alone (sexually) right now is a HUGE turn off to them. 
Does this "social proof with women" factor matter so much to be attractive?
This may be BS of course, but I'm just asking, because I fear that my momentary "loneliness" might be the cause of no results.

So I just turned 29 recently. Anyways I've always been insecure when it came to approaching Women. If I knew them it's easy to talk to them. Plus I knew their interests. However when it's someone new it's a different story. You know nothing about them, what to say or how to even get to know them.
 
So anyways here's my question. Recently I've become way more confident. What's a good way to approach Women you've never met and a good way to start a conversation with them to have a good chance at leaving with their number?
I've been single a long time and I'm ready to get back out there. I'm definitely more of the quiet type in general. Sometimes I do get approached by Woman. 
 

(on spiral dynamics)
So I've had a year-long abroad experience in a perhaps, greener society,
now I'm back to my home - a more orange society.
Been experiencing so much resistance towards this orange place, and slowly falling into depression.
How should one cope?
@Leo Gura

The only thing I can really think of is the business takes all the needs of the customer into account. Or a business that has many different perspectives to its outlook and impact on society...
Any input?....

I am not quite sure what the difference is. Because when I pull up an example and I look at it, I dont feel like I learn from that. Is there a step I'm missing? I dont know if I should try to derive patterns or rules out of it because I feel like this is just mental masturbation and in the end things are too complex to create patterns or rules. I wonder if this would be mere "armchair" philosophy & mental masturbation, or if it would be something which can have benefits.

@Leo Gura, when you were at your game design job in Boston and having that mid life crisis that you talked about in other places and also when you were first conceiving Actualized.org did you really think that this was actually possible for you? Not the success of having 800k subs or the following that you have now but the big picture understanding, the growth that you’ve gotten, the insights and awakenings, the self mastery you’ve been gaining over the years, etc. I’m not asking, is this work worth it. But do you think you could’ve predicted the kinda growth you’ve gotten to now back when you were 23/24? I don’t mean visualizing and believing it was possible. I don’t mean predicting you’d be this cool dude on YouTube. I mean, when you were contemplating your life, your potential, or whatever it is you contemplated when you were my age (23 going on 24), do you think you could’ve predicted this kinda personal growth, consciousness, understanding to the degree that you feel?
I’m just curious because this really is coming up for me when I really contemplate my death deep, get in touch with my intuition, and really feel what I ultimately want out of my life, which is - really feeling like a lot of this is fantasy. At the end of the day I don’t want to just run off into a cave and be some hermit. Nor do I want to keep living in a damn city where I live now (San Francisco). I do intuit this kinda blend between a Sat Yoga ashram/institute/community (btw, would you consider that a cult with all the doomsday stuff?), Peter Ralston, Om Swami, and you kinda blended into all 1 life purpose and I couldn’t fit my vision when I visualize it and feel it because that’s talking such a drastic change of becoming this spiritual master/mystic with high level big picture understanding and all this other stuff but when I think about it I look in the mirror, my bank account, my rapid ADHD monkey mind in my 20 min sits of trying to build concentration, my depresssion, life history, etc. and I’m like “this is a fucking pipe dream.” The extrodinary self mastery I’d need to not even reach what I even want spiritually but also to not turn into a cult leader and run stuff and also to just turn my life around now I’m like “this feels like a fantasy.” Yes in the abstract I see that it can be done (like that whole Ralston story in your interview with him buying a toaster) but I feel like this vision is crazy. In yet, when I intuit my life and I feel my ever bearing death just from the reality that this limited perspective (aka “my life”) will end and now that I’m getting older and I’m having that feeling of ‘holy fuck, those last 2 weeks flew by,’ and ‘good God, that was 4 years ago already...’ I just feel like this is what I’m supposed to do. What the hell else am I going to do?
I guess I could just use your thoughts on this. I feel like I haven’t been able to get this handled with myself, the life purpose course, or even other enlightened people I’ve met. I’ve met some at my work that I’ve talked to, at the Zen center I live near, and other places. I mean, going from a place of total self deception, no skills or money, a desire for an adventure (external and internal), a desire to connect deeply in solitude and silence, ADHD, some debt of $15k-25k, no car, car insurance you wouldn’t even pay able to pay because of such a bad driving record, victim mindset, depression, and the whole works... is vision REALLY enough? Not in that, will some magic LoA save me. But is a strong powerful vision TRULY enough?
 

So after watching Leo’s latest Spiral Dynamics video (Important insights & nuances), I had some insights into myself.
When I first heard of spiral dynamics, I agreed with the ‘green’ ideas. I followed similar belief systems and ways of thinking in my mind. I believed that intellectually I was at a green level. However, what I failed to see was that I am not a ‘green’ person on the spiral.
I am not green financially
I am not green socially
I am not green emotionally
I am not green physically
I am not green environmentally
I’m probably not even green spiritually.
I haven’t integrated the previous steps in the spiral. I never transcended orange with financial/social/physical abundance. I realised that you can not disown something you never had.
It’s like I’ve been trying to jump the stairs to self-actualisation, instead of walking up them. At the moment, I believe I am still trying to secure my self financially with job security and having my own house. I don’t have many friends, and feel a deep lack of connection with society and others. I am literally on the ‘Safety’ level of Maslow’s Hierarchy, trying to bypass my way to Self-Actualisation, in a desperate attempt to meet my lower needs.
Now I just feel stuck. I’m addicted to passively seeking out new and novel information for a quick fix, that I have no discipline or grit to stick to any of the practises.
 

For a while now i didn’t  create any meaningful connections or relationships with people. I feel somewhat different and awkward opposed to other individuals in our society. Although I don’t have any problems with talking to people i have a real problem with creating a true conversation where a person truly meets me and real connections are made. I had many great opportunities to create a relationship with a woman but my inability to open up was holding me back. I don’t know what to do. Although i am aware of this situation it is not easy to fix it. I feel like my personality is not really developed enough. I am well educated in subjects of spirituality and nonduality but I am having a problem with including this in my personality since it could really weird people out. I am 17 years old 

What actually happens in ego death and what happens after the moment the ego dies? After my intense weed experience I got a feeling of how it might be like but it wasn't close to an actual ego death, especially after that I have been very fascinated by the term. 

I have done some research and came to the conclusion that I'll do Psilocybe Cubensis for my first Psychedelic trip. I have been meditating for close to 2 years and studying personnel development for 3 years. I was thinking of doing a low dose of 1 gram just to be safe. Is that too low?
I read that its best to take on an empty stomach to limit nausea and have a more intense trip.
Is there anything else I should know about mushrooms? Can I just eat them?
 
Thanks!
 

Lol
The state isn't for her, it's for me. I have to be in a mood to flirt.

What post-modernism gets right is that reality is deeply perspectival and there are way more valid perspectives than just one.
What post-modernism gets wrong is that humans can and must agree on some core facts, truths, and values. Just because there are many perspectives does not mean all these persepctives are equally truthful and good. Some are more deluded than others. Flat Earthers have a worse persepective than Round Earthers, and this is not merely an opinion.

1) Life ain't fair, so drop that childish expectation. Embrace the challenge. Embrace your weaknesses. For some guys earning $1M will be easier than getting a girlfriend. For other guys, earning $10K will be harder than getting a girlfriend. We each have our strengths and weaknesses.
Honestly, for me, it is way easier to make $1M than find the right girl. But I have high standards. It would be worth it to pay $100K to find the right girl.
2) It doesn't usually take 1000s of hours to get a gf. The 1000s of hours we're talking about here is not to get a gf but to develop the skillset to become really good with attracting and understanding girls, and also growing yourself into a powerful man. The gf is the least important part of this process.
3) There are many degrees of getting a gf. There are many qualities of gf. Just getting a random slob girl at the bar to be your gf is way easier than say, getting a smoking hot, mentally stable, spiritual, well-developed gf who aligns with your personality. The higher your standards the harder you will have to work for it and the more value you will have to bring to the table. When I talk about getting a gf I'm really talking about finding your "perfect" girl. A high quality life partner, not just some fuck buddy who you are afraid to show your friends.
4) There's also the matter of how high outside your league are you trying to bat? If you're not so good looking you will have to provide a lot of value in other areas to attract and keep your smoking hot gf. But if you are happy with a below-average girl, then that will be way way easier to get.
- - - - - -
Think of it this way, the 1000s of hours of self-help work is something you should already be eager to do for yourself. You're not doing it for the girl, you're doing it FOR YOU! And then you will leverage that investment to also attract a high quality girl.

I have seen attractive girls with lame looking guys.
But of course generally people of similar attractiveness levels match. Buy attractiveness in a guy is not just about looks.
Most normal guys don't have much game nor much value to offer, they just coast on whatever they got. In which case they can't bat out of their league much.
Batting out of your laegue requires bringing the value.

Looks do matter, however your looks cannot be changed, and you can still get girls with your looks. You'll just have to work harder.
In the end you just have to accept how you look and work from there. And if you keep fixating on your looks you will be too demotivated to talk to girls and thereby lose girls you could otherwise get.
What black pill gets wrong is that there are girls out there who will be okay with your looks. But if you keep feeding on black pill ideas you will never even have the motivation to meet and succeed with those girls, thereby totally screwing yourself.

Completely losing control during a trip is genuinely dangerous. That's not a mistake. You do need to control some of your behavior.
Some behavior is dangerous, some is not. Make that distinction. Some behavior is also socially dangerous.

Look, in the end you have to come to grips with the fact that psychedelics and Consciousness can always take a detour into Hell. That's just the nature or Consciousness. You have to just let that go and focus on the positives.
Don't forget, everyday life can also turn into Hell at any day. Nuclear war could start tomorrow. However, you cannot live your life focusing on that.
The key issue is how you use your focus. Focus on good stuff. Why are you focusing on bad trips when you could use that time to focus on good trips?
2 years after a trip is a long time. You should have let that go a long time ago. Stop fixating on it. Stop thinking about it.