Lurtsi

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About Lurtsi

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  • Birthday 12/13/1994

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    Finland
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  1. Here's a video of Shinzen Young talking about post-retreat events. https://youtu.be/0ifHks5EYZU One phenomenon he talks about is the "aftershock" which might be something you are experiencing. Check out the video, I think it can be helpful 😊.
  2. Sorry for late reply. Yeah I think it mostly is but when you read the book you get experts view on the subject condensed into couple hundred pages. If you want to learn it from the internet you totally can but then you have to use even more source criticism and dig around multiple places. What i usually do I initially learn a topic from the internet and if I'm really interested in it I might buy a widely recommended book about the topic.
  3. Like others have pointed out before your conceptions of these ideas are actually not the thing to which they are pointing to. And in this case it seems like your mind if twisting them into particularly negative and nihilistic form so don't take those as truth. Here you have to understand Leo's style of communicating things. He often talks kinda harshly and straight on which can be taken in a grim light if you are not careful. Still the old paradigm and actualized.org are ultimately talking about the same thing, just in a different manner. These teachings are designed to point you towards the truth, not tell you the truth. On the questions how to enjoy anything after enlightenment and why even try to reach it: You might have heard the saying "Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water" which I have understood as nothing really changes after realizing the truth. Things are the same as they've always been and you can keep on living your life in an ordinary way. You'll be for sure looking at life from a different perspective but not at all negative or empty one even though "everything is nothing/emptiness". When you realize that you yourself are an illusion and disappear it actually means at the same time that you become everything since everything is in the deepest level unified. When you are enlightened and amidst of doing something you used to enjoy as a person from an individual egoic perspective of course the physical pleasures are still there. On top of that you can see life and infinity unfolding as you go on about your business and see the beauty in the creation as it happens. So you definitely can enjoy BEING after enlightenment But of course I'm not enlightened or anything myself so it's just my understanding and in some way speculation but in the end I don't see clinging on to negative, twisted views of these topics any helpful. I remember thinking like you at the moment when i first learned about this stuff and it seems like it's really common actually. Sooo finally i recommend you not to believe anything or anyone blindly but thinking yourself like people here always recommend but at the same time watching out for self-delusions. I highly recommend watching Leo's video on self-delusions asap if you haven't. That really sheds some light on how your mind tricks itself.
  4. Since the cold turkey approach didn't work for you I suggest you to try and gradually reduce smoking. I don't know exactly how often you smoke but a nice way could be to set a goal like once a week or once a month of course depending how much you smoke atm. When you have stayed long enough at your goal set up a new goal and so on until you feel like you've where you wanna be with smoking weed. Remember that you don't have to aim for zero total abstinence if you like weed but it seems that you are aware that it's a problem right now so it sure is helpful to reduce smoking. Also if you get urges to smoke more often than your goal, a helpful thing is to remind yourself that it's not a big deal really if you don't smoke. After all it's just a couple hours of relaxation or fun but in the end it doesn't really help you in any significant way. You can survive those couple hours without smoking. That can also turn into a trap of backwards rationalizing that it's "not a big deal" to smoke instead of not smoking so beware of that GL with your journey!
  5. This one delivers a great message of ideologies and people violently defending them and basically forming "tribes". The whole album "Pure Comedy" has similar theme with witty criticism of these kinds of topics and a feel of not taking life so seriously while also remembering to take care of each other. This is maybe my favourite ambient album of all time and it has taken me places by its own when listened in its entirety and in darkness . I think it has kind of a theme of NDE/liberation/enlightenment, at least that's how I feel it. Ooooohh... Queen of all everything might just be the most comfortable song I've ever heard. It's just pure bliss, I always get chills with it
  6. I don't know if you mean for free or on sale but I just bought it from internet.
  7. My hands went into carpopedal spasm so you're not the only one So yeah @dude I can second @cetus56 and not recommend it until your hand is healed.
  8. I've only read 60 pages but so far so good. I've got some introduction to kundalini, tips for when to and when not to start working with it, what to expect from it and some excercises already.
  9. That is what I'm doing too as Leo recommended reading the kundalini one also if you're thinking of starting a kriya practice. But I'm reading one at a time and started with the kundalini book so I have some more theoretical background before reading kriya and beginning the practice.
  10. If we are inside an absolute infinity wouldn't that mean that it's inevitable to it include also this exact moment and situation in this hallucination? So it MUST be as it is right now. We think we have this brain which does it's thing while at the same time being unnecessary for consciousness. Hope this helps a bit with the "why?" -question 😄
  11. That was a good read! This one and some other research I did yesterday makes me wonder if this technique is really as safe as thought since you are in fact decreasing the blood flow to the brain. Of course extreme hypoxia can lead to even death but in a case of a breathing technique would be nice to know if there is a possibility for brain damage, even a small one...wouldn't wanna risk that 😁
  12. Okay so I put on some candles and native american drumming music for a nice atmosphere like Leo recommended and then laid on the ground and set the alarm on 30 minutes. For the first couple of minutes the breathing was a bit difficult due to drying throat so I had to swallow a couple times but eventually my mind stilled and breathing became easier too. Then my body started vibrating progressively starting from the fingers and my face. There wasn't any visuals or emotions coming up but I kinda went into a flow state where I really didn't think about what I was doing so my mind was very still. Eventually the vibration was all over my body and at some point I felt it was too intense so I decided to stop and at that point I had done it for 23 mins. Afterwards I felt a bit lightheaded and my whole body was tingling. The weird thing and maybe not so good is that my both hands had gone into carpopedal spams which of I post a picture below. Also my facial muscles were a bit hard to move afterwards The spasms lasted for a minute or two and gradually eased but still now maybe 40 mins later my hands are a bit shaky like after a physical excercise. I remember once trying the Wim Hof method about a year ago and after that I had similar feeling but a lot less intense than this time. Edit: Apparently the spasms are common effect of hyperventilation. Though I'm not sure if there's some dangers in them.