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Everything posted by Lurtsi

  1. Pixar released its new movie "Soul" on Disney+ yesterday and I just wanted to recommend it here, I think it was great! The movie touches nicely on topics like death, bardo (in-between state in tibetan buddhism), meditation, flow state, life purpose and conscious living. I think its also a nice soft introduction to topics like these for people who are not familiar with them already. Although I can also see some parts of it being missed by the viewer without a prior understanding of those themes. However, I recommend it for people interested in topics mentioned above + anybody who enjoys beautiful animation
  2. I checked out Who Are We and looks nice! Gotta watch it too when I got the time
  3. If you are not at all familiar with Ken Wilber's works, then I suggest at least a quick google search before reading this. I just finished reading Ken Wilber's "Brief History of Everything" (which I highly recommend as an introduction to Wilber's work for anyone interested!) and had an idea that I think would be cool if someone could carry it out: an interactive, visual 3d representation of Wilber's integral theory. It would include all the quadrants, levels, fulcrum's etc. and could have embedded links to open sub-topics like explanations of different kinds of world-views for example. All in all it would be in Wilber's fashion as his theory: an integral map of the world (as seen in integral theory). This would obviously require lots of skills in programming and designing of these kinds of maps so I myself am not capable of doing it (at least atm ?) but I'm just sharing the idea! What do you guys think of this? Would you like to see something like this be done? Could you do it or do you know anyone who could do it? Cheers!
  4. Thank you for the reply! This is what I've been thinking and we've discussed it for a little bit too. I guess we'll give it a real try next.
  5. I've been in a relationship for one and a half years now and it's been great. We both meditate and are interested in mostly same things and share values. Our personalities are a bit different but balance each other out pretty well. She's a masculine kinda woman and I'm a man leaning more towards the feminine. We also rarely have any quarrels and when we do, we really talk about it and dig deep into our feelings and thoughts about it. In fact, we are very open about everything and often talk casually about deep personal things, analyzing our thought- and behavior patterns. We live in separate cities but I visit her often and sometimes can live with her up to month at a time. Lately, however, there's a problem that's come up in our dynamic. In a nutshellit goes like this: She's really development oriented so she's always looking for things to improve in me and in herself likewise. She tells me with good intention about something she would like me to do differently or kindly remarks me of unfriendly words or some little things I could improve on. Then I either get defensive and deny it or downplay what I said/did and feel bad about being "bad", or "stupid", or "mean". Nowadays when I arrive in her town and I'm getting ready to see her I get this feeling of insecurity and my self esteem and self worth drop. I'm getting ready to be critizised and due to that I'm mentally preparing myself for a fight so I'm already a little bit on the edge before meeting her. Then, when we meet, I'm already in a low-consciousness state and she senses it and tells me about it, again with good intention. But in that mindstate it's hard for me to take it well and usually I end up feeling even worse. We also talked about it alot a few days ago and now even if she doesn't give me remarks about my unconscious behaviour, I get into a low-conscious state because I've created this new identity around her in which I feel bad about many things I do. And those I do exactly because I presume she sees me like that and she's gonna critisize me! So it' a loop, a self fulfilling prophecy. There are few things I've observed about the situation: 1. I have a tendency to adjust my "output" depending on who I am with, a certain lack of self esteem, which I'm working on. This situation, I think, is part of it. I've created this new identity around her, which I already talked about. 2. It is also partly the usual, when people in relationship start living together (we've been living together more frequently in the spring and summer) it gets harder and some friction between you often comes up. So finally, let's get to the point ? What should we so about this? It's quite a new phenomena and we'd like to snip it at the bud so to speak. Today as I was meditating and the situation came to my mind, it seemed to me that a good approach would be no approach. Since the thing began from her directing her hard development drive to me (of course it is related to my self esteem, which is an older story), it seems that easing on the self development might help for now. Often things work paradoxically, as it it's said the only thing preventing enlightenment is the search for enlightenment! I think that if we keep loving each other and both focus on ourselfs as insividuals, while accepting each others' flaws might ease out the stress on me. And maybe that would give me the room to develop and be better at receiving criticism. Okay that's the story, I would appreciate any tips if you have had similar experiences! And also if you don't, anyone might have valuable things to say! Thank you for reading ?
  6. - Waking up alongside my girlfriend after been three weeks apart. - Coming across an old friend I hadn't seen in years. - Reading this thread. ?
  7. Very uplifting psychedelic dub style of album. This whole album in incredibly beautiful and will take you deep. Although some of the songs are kind of melancholic so I also wouldn't recommend it to everyone.
  8. Here's a video of Shinzen Young talking about post-retreat events. One phenomenon he talks about is the "aftershock" which might be something you are experiencing. Check out the video, I think it can be helpful ?.
  9. Sorry for late reply. Yeah I think it mostly is but when you read the book you get experts view on the subject condensed into couple hundred pages. If you want to learn it from the internet you totally can but then you have to use even more source criticism and dig around multiple places. What i usually do I initially learn a topic from the internet and if I'm really interested in it I might buy a widely recommended book about the topic.
  10. Like others have pointed out before your conceptions of these ideas are actually not the thing to which they are pointing to. And in this case it seems like your mind if twisting them into particularly negative and nihilistic form so don't take those as truth. Here you have to understand Leo's style of communicating things. He often talks kinda harshly and straight on which can be taken in a grim light if you are not careful. Still the old paradigm and are ultimately talking about the same thing, just in a different manner. These teachings are designed to point you towards the truth, not tell you the truth. On the questions how to enjoy anything after enlightenment and why even try to reach it: You might have heard the saying "Before enlightenment: chop wood, carry water. After enlightenment: chop wood, carry water" which I have understood as nothing really changes after realizing the truth. Things are the same as they've always been and you can keep on living your life in an ordinary way. You'll be for sure looking at life from a different perspective but not at all negative or empty one even though "everything is nothing/emptiness". When you realize that you yourself are an illusion and disappear it actually means at the same time that you become everything since everything is in the deepest level unified. When you are enlightened and amidst of doing something you used to enjoy as a person from an individual egoic perspective of course the physical pleasures are still there. On top of that you can see life and infinity unfolding as you go on about your business and see the beauty in the creation as it happens. So you definitely can enjoy BEING after enlightenment But of course I'm not enlightened or anything myself so it's just my understanding and in some way speculation but in the end I don't see clinging on to negative, twisted views of these topics any helpful. I remember thinking like you at the moment when i first learned about this stuff and it seems like it's really common actually. Sooo finally i recommend you not to believe anything or anyone blindly but thinking yourself like people here always recommend but at the same time watching out for self-delusions. I highly recommend watching Leo's video on self-delusions asap if you haven't. That really sheds some light on how your mind tricks itself.
  11. This one delivers a great message of ideologies and people violently defending them and basically forming "tribes". The whole album "Pure Comedy" has similar theme with witty criticism of these kinds of topics and a feel of not taking life so seriously while also remembering to take care of each other. This is maybe my favourite ambient album of all time and it has taken me places by its own when listened in its entirety and in darkness . I think it has kind of a theme of NDE/liberation/enlightenment, at least that's how I feel it. Ooooohh... Queen of all everything might just be the most comfortable song I've ever heard. It's just pure bliss, I always get chills with it
  12. I don't know if you mean for free or on sale but I just bought it from internet.
  13. My hands went into carpopedal spasm so you're not the only one So yeah @dude I can second @cetus56 and not recommend it until your hand is healed.
  14. I've only read 60 pages but so far so good. I've got some introduction to kundalini, tips for when to and when not to start working with it, what to expect from it and some excercises already.
  15. That is what I'm doing too as Leo recommended reading the kundalini one also if you're thinking of starting a kriya practice. But I'm reading one at a time and started with the kundalini book so I have some more theoretical background before reading kriya and beginning the practice.
  16. That was a good read! This one and some other research I did yesterday makes me wonder if this technique is really as safe as thought since you are in fact decreasing the blood flow to the brain. Of course extreme hypoxia can lead to even death but in a case of a breathing technique would be nice to know if there is a possibility for brain damage, even a small one...wouldn't wanna risk that ?
  17. Okay so I put on some candles and native american drumming music for a nice atmosphere like Leo recommended and then laid on the ground and set the alarm on 30 minutes. For the first couple of minutes the breathing was a bit difficult due to drying throat so I had to swallow a couple times but eventually my mind stilled and breathing became easier too. Then my body started vibrating progressively starting from the fingers and my face. There wasn't any visuals or emotions coming up but I kinda went into a flow state where I really didn't think about what I was doing so my mind was very still. Eventually the vibration was all over my body and at some point I felt it was too intense so I decided to stop and at that point I had done it for 23 mins. Afterwards I felt a bit lightheaded and my whole body was tingling. The weird thing and maybe not so good is that my both hands had gone into carpopedal spams which of I post a picture below. Also my facial muscles were a bit hard to move afterwards The spasms lasted for a minute or two and gradually eased but still now maybe 40 mins later my hands are a bit shaky like after a physical excercise. I remember once trying the Wim Hof method about a year ago and after that I had similar feeling but a lot less intense than this time. Edit: Apparently the spasms are common effect of hyperventilation. Though I'm not sure if there's some dangers in them.