Fortunate Son

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About Fortunate Son

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  1. Thank you for answer but I'm afraid that you missed the point of my post. My point is that modern self help industry is too much focused on self development and too little on sharing practical love and support work in the communities. I'm not saying that 99% of self development is like that, 90%, 80%, 70%, 50% or 40% etc. It's just criticism, not judging. Actually you are assuming wrong because you don't know me. I do the things that I listed regularly but lately It was shrinking because i filled my life with too much work on self development and that was primary motivation of this post. And also seeing people doing this mistakes. Peace
  2. Everything is healthy in moderation. With this rapid advance in technology the information spreading is so beneficial that can be equally destructive as well. I noticed lots of people pursing enlightenment are equally addictive and neurotic about it as any other compulsive behaviour. Their desire for being enlightened is overwhelming and leads to isolation and locking up in their room. Instead of this egotistical self-development why aren't we focused more on helping others and keeping our communities healthy? And I don't mean virtual platforms, forums, social networks and etc., but real communities with people you know. Of course you need isolation and self contemplation but I think that modern self help lifestyle is too much focusing on self. There is so much talking about God and enlightenment online but when was the last time you volunteered to clean your environment? When was the last time you spend time with the poor or sick people in the hospital? When did you last time call your friend randomly and asked him how is his life at the moment and do he need some time for talk, coffee or need money for education? When did you ask your neighbours if they need help with building their home, help to carry their groceries or medications if they are too old to go to pharmacy themselfes? Why we are daily focusing so much on our self development theory and ignoring daily dosage of practicality? Just some healthy criticism, I am not pointing fingers and accusing anyone in particular, this is just my observation both in online and offline self development movement.
  3. I even consulted this with a therapist today, he said the same thing like you but you said it even more deeply and with heart. Thank you, your words are kind and sincere.
  4. @Sevi That was some wise insights, thank you. That's why I'm not going to let my compulsiveness and fears ruin these moments with her. I will be aware of them but I won't let them controlling my life and destroying my health with worry and depression. She is actually pretty strong and proud woman which I admire very much. We will spend so much more beautiful times together and I am so excited about it. @Sevi
  5. Thank you all for the answers! In one hand I am in love with her, love her and enjoying every moment with her. In other hand I'm sometimes surprised when I see few wrinkles on her skin or few gray hairs. I mean, It does not bothers me so much right now because I find her generally very attractive and I am also not perfect. For example I also have few gray hairs on my beard, hairs on my back and some other places actually, I am 14 years younger but in a general sense, just average looking guy while she is naturally beauty. But my fear is for the future mostly. This possibility that I am not truthful with my intuition and I am blaming myself for it. My intuition is telling me that I will probably loose my sexual attraction when she reaches old age and my high sex drive will remain. And then we will split up and it will be my fault for ruining her life. But in the same time I now the truth. And the truth is that I really don't know what will happen in the future. And If I followed my intuition maybe is not always right choice. I mean, If I followed my intuition I would like to sleep with every hot girl out there. My reason is telling me that I should stay in this relationship and observe what's going on. I don't want to ruin this relationship which i value very much with quick and potentially stupid decisions. And then after few more weeks, months or years of working on my self-actualization, observing and communicating with her I will find the answer. Time will tell If I can't tell it now. Maybe I'll loose my sexual desire, maybe will grow or maybe it will stay the same. Maybe I'll learn something new about myself. So, is this maybe selfish of me, am I running away from something or is this ok for now, i don't know... But again, thanks for the answers, I am glad to be a part of this community. If you have some more comment or advice, much appreciated.
  6. Thank you for your time and answer, your words are inspiring 😊👍
  7. I'm not afraid of being alone and single, actually most of my life I've been single and because i am artist I need solitude i quiet time alone. My girlfriend understand this so we hang out together 3-4 days per week and it's very balancing lifestyle for me. I don't know what will happen in 10 years or how I'll feel. But this fear of loosing attraction disturbs me.
  8. I don't know what will happen in 10 years or how I'll feel. But this fear of loosing attraction disturbs me.
  9. I really doubt I can be in open relationship with her hehe. Maybe adoption is not a bad idea one day 😀
  10. ... But yeah, I get your point. I should give my girlfriend unconditional love or stop being her boyfriend.
  11. Well I give her all my love every day, that's my purpose in this relationship, to make her happy and loved. That's never been an issue.
  12. Hi everyone, I am in one year relationship with my girlfriend. I am 33, she is 47 years old, so there is a 14 years age difference between us. This relationship is very fulfilling for me, it's full of love and understanding for each other, and I very much love her. When I met her I thought she was around 35 maybe, she is very beautiful, hot and when I founded out she is 47 I was little scared. And occasionally I have fears of future. At the moment I don't want kids, but I will maybe want them 10 years from now. And obviously can't have that with her and we are aware of it as we talked few times about this. And also I fear that I will loose physical attraction for her because she will age much quicker. But except that we are very loving couple and we fulfill each other every day and have so much in common. From music to spirituality, we are very compatible. And in the same time we respect each other time, values, career and we are not possessive at each other. So, are my fears justified or I am worrying to much? I decided that I will try this relationship because I feel much loved and fulfilled, but in the same time, future is uncertain and I don't want to hurt her and myself in the future. Thanks!
  13. I'm 33 years old musician and I need some advice. I play guitar and tried in various musical styles in life. When I was at the beginning of my teenage years I played electric guitar and mostly heavy metal music. I had a band with my friends, we played live, it was fun and I composed music for almost all song and was singing while playing guitar. In my early twenties I discovered acoustic guitar and experiment with different sounds. In my mid twenties I discovered lots of jazz and latin music but when I discovered flamenco guitar I was blown away! I got rid of my electric and acoustic guitar, bought flamenco guitar and started to obsessively practice this style. One day I even met my idol, Pace De Lucia before he died, it was the happiest day in my life. Then after few years I started experimenting again with some electric guitar, various styles which included: classical music, jazz, latin, hard rock, blues and playing flamenco occasionally. I composed my own songs like solo artist and shot few music videos and people really liked it. They said that the music is true, good sounding and that my voice even sounded cool. In the meantime I opened my guitar course which is my manly source of income in last almost 10 years and I play guitar sometimes live at private parties and wedding ceremonies. It's ok income (for surviving paycheck to paycheck) but I really don't like teaching most of time, people are so lazy to practice, they are sometimes rude, late with their payments, etc. After just few hours I am so mentally exhausted that I fill sick of this job and people. Not all of them of course, some of them actually listen to me practice what I told them. People say that I am really talented, patient teacher and know how to explain everything, I even opened my YouTube channel for guitar lessons and emmidiatly got thousands of subscribers. But I really don't enjoying this job most of the time and my dream was always - composing music. So I started again composing some music, I played few times to my friends and students my new songs and they really, really liked it! They are always asking me: when are you going to record this, it sounds so fucking awesome! So I was like "wow", i must do something about it. And I started to recording and arranging the songs. But now i stumbled on TWO major problems. FIRST: Throughout my life I played tons of musical styles. People always said that I play well. BUT, i didn't ever master any particular style. I can play all of this styles OK from my perspective but all of this styles now created big confusion, especially in my day to day practice. I really don't have the time to master all of these styles so I said: fuck it! Something has to go... So I decided to drop everything accept flamenco guitar and some latin-jazz and I was relieved. Finally I had one or two styles to master, I was so happy and enlightened. And also I have more motivation to master flamenco guitar because it's more deep and challenging to master than electric guitar. But then came next problem: SECOND: So now I decided that I will master flamenco guitar BUT most of my ideas for new songs are not only flamenco but combinations of tens of styles, most of them to be played on electric guitar, which is totally opposite style of playing that flamenco (flamenco is played of nylon string guitar and electric guitar is completely different instrument). From rock, pop, heavy metal, jazz, latin, funky and blends actually really well together at my surprise, it sounds powerful, simple, true and honest. And now I am worrying that how can I blend this two worlds - flamenco/latin acoustic guitar and electric rock guitar, it doesn't make sense. I composed one flamenco/latin song which I will be performing this summer at one festival and I am really enjoying this song, beautiful and passionate ballad. But then I composed two songs with electric guitar which also sounds crazy, powerful and unique but in the context with the flamenco/latin song above it's completely opposite world. This two things together doesn't make sense. So now I am afraid that if I follow flamenco style I will feel sorry for not following electric guitar career which can bring me maybe more success. With electric guitar i can reach more people and maybe make a better living. Maybe I can continue to master flamenco guitar but occasionally record some electric guitar for fun, I don't know... The fact is that I really want to master flamenco more than electric but lots of songs ideas came from inside me with electric guitar sound. It's almost like my intuition is going for electric guitar mostly but my heart is whispering flamenco. Yes, I know, artists are crazy! Hehe, I really didn't expected this post to be so LOOONG, so I thank you for reading and If you have some nice advice, from the bottom of my heart I thank you!
  14. This video and Leo's videos about Distraction, Addictions and Lifestyle Minimalism is a must watch. So powerful for all of us who grove up in western society. I'll hope you'll enjoy it
  15. After watching your videos I really don't trust 100% in nothing anymore, even science and spirituality I accepted that as a part of my learning and I am really glad to be a part of this Actualized community with all of these people talking openly and sharing different ideas.