PsiloPutty

Patience and peacefulness during the day are another couple of benefits that I forgot to mention.

Yeah, the physical "feel good" benefits are always the ones mentioned in mainstream articles, but more profound to me are: -getting to know who/what I really am, always was and always will be. -understanding that I'm not my thoughts. They are options and suggestions that I can accept or decline. -honestly loving myself and others more each and every week. -realizing that we humans are all tapped into the same well of consciousness.

Have you watched Leo's video on nootropics?

I did that with one good friend in particular, and while I love and miss her, I feel I did the right thing.

Well, it has begun. Hope you kick ass.

Have you read books on the subject? The first one I ever read was back in the mid-90s, and it's called Lucid Dreaming by Stephen Laberge. He's one of the main pioneers of lucid dream study, and that book helped me immeasurably in understanding lucid dreams and more easily invoking them. You're right, it is a very interesting phenomenon, and fascinating to cultivate.

Sounds like the meditating is bringing suppressed emotional baggage to the surface, which is good. If that's the case, I'd keep going with it. Try to not judge the negative moods and tension that you wake up with. Just letting them be with you and experiencing them is a form of healing.

Excellent. Well, keep posting here and I'm sure you'll eventually get a better idea of what exactly happened to you.

For me, the appeal of a retreat, solo or group, is to pile a ton of practice hours into an intensely short timeframe. If you're happy with your current practice, then there's nothing wrong with incorporating it into the retreat. I don't think you'd be cheating yourself if you do some self-inquiry during those 10 days.

So, these changes that have happened in you....was it a sudden thing? Gradual? Sure sounds like you had an awakening.

People do these things to get closer to Source. You could say that they do them with the thought that it'll make them happier, but that's saying that they think it'll take them closer to Source. It's really why we do ANYthing.

You're way more enlightened than I am! With regard to the pain, what would you feel if your hand were cut off? I understand that an enlightened person would experience no suffering, but there must still be pain.

@Tony 845 There's no guarantee that it'll happen at all in a lifetime, even when on the path. I figure if it never happens to me, at least I'll be working on karma. For now, I'm just enjoying the process as best I can.

I wonder about this, too. I doubt it's like being on a city bus where you just pull the cord when you get where you wanted to go. "OK, I've arrived....let me off!"

@Rilles That's really awesome, my ego is still very much strong enough that I have a hard time meditating in the direct vicinity of strangers who are just going about their business. Noises are no problem, but my meditation goes to crap if I think someone is looking at me.

Good job, they're gorgeous! May they do their part in furthering your progress on the pathless path.

Yeah, I would definitely say that lucid dreaming is a sign that you're internally shifting your consciousness. Have you tried jumping as a reality check? When you test whether or not you're dreaming, wherever you happen to be standing, just give a little jump into the air and notice what happens. If I'm dreaming, there is always something different about it, maybe an extra half second of hang time in the air that tips me off that I'm dreaming. And digital clocks never read correctly for me when I'm dreaming. That's a very common one for people.

Most people don't have difficulty working their way into the Burmese position on a zafu, and that is a very stable position, even for long sits. Not nearly as difficult to attain as full Lotus or even half Lotus. But yeah, I often think I should put in the time it takes to obtain the flexibility for half Lotus as well.

And pop 400mg of L-Theanine an hour before your sit.

It sounds to me like you're just in the habit of thinking those thoughts while you're meditating, and you can train yourself out of that habit just by staying with it and not giving power to those thoughts. Also, I wouldn't meditate in a place that feels spooky to you, that's just asking for it. Someone else said to meditate in the sunlight instead, and I totally agree. Don't be obsessed with absolute silence either. A little noise will actually help you with your focus and concentration and attention. I sometimes put on headphones and listen to YouTube videos of New York Street noise when I meditate. If you can learn to meditate with those sorts of external stimuli, you can meditate anywhere. Don't let your ego throw some scary thoughts at you and talk you out of meditating. That's exactly what it wants....

@Leo Gura The coffee cup metaphor was one of the best that I've heard for that sort of explanation.

@Charlotte "Your mushroomy plans?"

There are YouTube videos of people's experiences in darkness retreats....have you watched those? I kick it around in my head every few weeks.

If you wanna get rid of that White Widow, I'll do you a favor and take it off yer hands.

Is this sort of doubtful vetting what you expected when you started this thread? Welcome, by the way.