Advice regarding my recent approach

[mr_engineer]

2 minutes ago, Consept said:

I read it, the problem is solved op isn't gonna ask for photos of family and inside of house of someone he only just met for 5 mins going forward 

No, the problem is not 'solved', this is the start of a new problem. Which is this - because of this, he is less likely to meet a woman who will accept him for who he is. 

When he asked to see her family, that was authentic! Now, we're teaching him to be inauthentic by creep-shaming him. 

[Consept]

@mr_engineer lol he seems OK bro

[something_else]

1 hour ago, mr_engineer said:

The same behavior will come across as 'creepy' to some women and an escalation of intimacy to some other women. 

“send me photos of your house” is not escalation of intimacy. What are you smoking?? 

[mr_engineer]

38 minutes ago, Consept said:

@mr_engineer lol he seems OK bro

If he seems okay with what you've said, doesn't mean that you're right and doesn't mean that your solution is going to work. It's an oversimplification of the problem at hand. 

Just admit that you don't give a fuck and you're being a simp right now. You think that if a woman feels uncomfortable, it's everyone else's fault but if a man feels uncomfortable, that's his fault. 

[mr_engineer]

Men have to stop putting up with over-regulation of their behavior. Those of you who think you can regulate us - who do you think you are?! And who are you to speak on behalf of third-parties?! Who decided that you're more socially calibrated than us?! You're not. All of you put women's 'feelings' on a pedestal and are willing to change your entire personalities accordingly. What you don't know is that the women who blame you for their feelings are unpleasable, you will never feel good enough with them. That's the reality. So, focus on finding someone who will accept you for who you are, instead of changing your behaviors to suit people who won't. 

[Consept]

@mr_engineer

Bro I couldn't care less if you want to be creepy, go for it, let me know what results you get from it  

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Consept said:

@mr_engineer

Bro I couldn't care less if you want to be creepy, go for it, let me know what results you get from it  

The fact that the word 'creepy' is even being used, implies that you do care about it. You're already making an attempt to regulate my behavior when you use the word. We have to stop using that label for no reason. In fact, we have to stop using it, period. 

The day you stop using this word, is the day I'll believe you telling me that 'you don't care how I behave'. 

[Consept]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

The fact that the word 'creepy' is even being used, implies that you do care about it. You're already making an attempt to regulate my behavior when you use the word. We have to stop using that label for no reason. In fact, we have to stop using it, period. 

The day you stop using this word, is the day I'll believe you telling me that 'you don't care how I behave'. 

I'm using it cos you used it 

OK be however you're being cos I'm sure every girl loves dumb debates about how you shouldn't be creep shamed. But also i cant get across how much i dont care about how you behave, i dont think ive got the vocabulary to fully explain how much i dont give a fuck 

[mr_engineer]

6 minutes ago, Consept said:

OK be however you're being cos I'm sure every girl loves dumb debates about how you shouldn't be creep shamed.

Yeah, I know how much you care about women's feelings. Women's feelings are of paramount importance, aren't they?! Men can't have one conversation about themselves without worrying about how women feel about it. 

6 minutes ago, Consept said:

But also i cant get across how much i dont care about how you behave, i dont think ive got the vocabulary to fully explain how much i dont give a fuck 

How about 'Be yourself, no matter what others think of you'? That'll work. 

By the way, it's the opposite of what everyone here has been saying to OP. Everyone here wants to control OP's behavior, just because he's a man. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[Princess Arabia]

@mr_engineeris not seeing the situation at hand. Hels projecting his own personal traumatic injuries unto this thread. He's not commenting on the fact that asking a female for pictures of her family and inside her house after meeting someone for 5mins is asinine and he's coming up with all these scenarios as to why women's feelings should not be trusted because he was accused of something he felt he did not do in the past and went through hell with that incident which has now caused him to see that in every situation he comes across. 

He has given his power away to that female by allowing the incident to blind his vision to be able to see things for what they are and is now be powered and influenced by that incident to navigate his way through relationships and the world unconsciously. He cannot see past his own state, a state where he was hurt and traumatized and everything he sees pertaining to relations with men and women will have that stain and residue on it and will have some of it's blueprint unto a total different scenario. Of course, he will deny this because he's the one within the trap and it would take a meta look and perspective at the situation to see himself and how he's being held within the trap. 

We are the ones not within his trap and can see how he's trying to escape it by telling himself all he's saying in this thread, which is just him telling himself how he's handling the situation and needs to stop but he's not recognizing that because the trap is so deep. We are slowing trying to free him but he keeps digging deeper by adding more reasons why his pov makes sense and ours don't and not realizing that he cannot use the same mindset that got him stuck there in the first place. 

He has been in this trap for a long time because it's the same old story with no change in sight, and he's obviously not seeing how he's the one who has put himself there; but he needs something else to get him out and he's seeking vengeance and animosity to do it for him when all he needs is forgiveness and love of oneself to do the trick.

Edited March 1 by Princess Arabia

[mr_engineer]

@Princess Arabia More attempts to regulate men's behavior. The standard arguments of 'he's weak, he's wounded, he's not loving himself', blah blah blah. 

If I said something sexist towards women, you said 'this is wrong' and then I make it about 'your specific traumas', it would validate your opinion of me as 'sexist', right?! Same deal. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, mr_engineer said:

@Princess Arabia More attempts to regulate men's behavior. 

I'm not attempting to do anything. I said what I said. I'm not insane enough to think I can regulate someone's behavior while sitting on my couch. You don't even make sense with your come-backs and they never match up with the situation at hand. Nothing in my comment above insinuated any attempts from me to regulate your behavior. 

One question. How come you still have the same ole gripes repeatedly. Isn't there something you can do to rectify the situation. Maybe just maybe there's nothing wrong but only how you view them. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at changes. Albert Einstein.

[mr_engineer]

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I'm not attempting to do anything. I said what I said. I'm not insane enough to think I can regulate someone's behavior while sitting on my couch. You don't even make sense with your come-backs and they never match up with the situation at hand. Nothing in my comment above insinuated any attempts from me to regulate your behavior. 

Then why are you trying to discredit what I'm saying?! 

This is not just about me, this is about other men reading this. We will not be taking this anymore and we will be calling it out when we see it. 

6 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

One question. How come you still have the same ole gripes repeatedly. Isn't there something you can do to rectify the situation. Maybe just maybe there's nothing wrong but only how you view them. Change the way you look at things and the things you look at changes. Albert Einstein.

It's because yall aren't doing what you should be doing to fix the situation. This calls for an escalation of consequences for your sexist behavior. We will be calling out creep-shaming from this point on. 

[Consept]

6 minutes ago, mr_engineer said:

This is not just about me, this is about other men reading this. We will not be taking this anymore and we will be calling it out when we see it. 

Speaking on behalf of men on here -

 

[mr_engineer]

Just now, Consept said:

Speaking on behalf of men on here -

 

No, YOU don't care, cuz you're a simp. Speak for yourself! 

[Quader]

Listen, women can be judgmental and cruel, quick to view many as creeps and alienate them.

Yes if men want to play with equal footing (and not own women), they have to be willing to compromise and listen to them to suit their tastes as well. It wasn't long ago that women were effectively enslaved so the pendulum might swing a bit heavy towards feminism so that's probably the point you're criticizing here, you feel it's gone to far. In some cases it has, but the consequences are ultimately hurt feelings and an opportunity for growth, if you're willing to learn.. like op has been..humble and looking for advice

But ultimately don't let it bother you it's just an attempt to provide tools and insights to developing better relationships with people. It's coming from a good place

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

Then why are you trying to discredit what I'm saying?! 

This is not just about me, this is about other men reading this. We will not be taking this anymore and we will be calling it out when we see it. 

It's because yall aren't doing what you should be doing to fix the situation. This calls for an escalation of consequences for your sexist behavior. We will be calling out creep-shaming from this point on. 

I don't see them. Where are they. In your head, I guess, like everything else.

[Princess Arabia]

2 hours ago, mr_engineer said:

No, YOU don't care, cuz you're a simp. Speak for yourself! 

Your only come back for men who don't care is by calling them a simp. Can't you come up with another reason. 

[mr_engineer]

6 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

Your only come back for men who don't care is by calling them a simp. Can't you come up with another reason. 

They do care. They're just saying to your face that they don't care, because they don't want to 'hurt your feelings'. It's pure two-faced behavior/manipulative behavior. 

7 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

I don't see them. Where are they. In your head, I guess, like everything else.

Again, trying to discredit what I'm saying to get away with regulating men's behavior. 'Everything is in your head, nothing is real'. 

Edited March 1 by mr_engineer

[Princess Arabia]

17 minutes ago, Quader said:

, women can be judgmental and cruel

Men can be cruel, women can be cruel, cats and dogs can be cruel, animals in general can be cruel, the weather can be cruel, certain jobs can be cruel, politics can be cruel, Hollywood can be cruel, the entertainment industry can be cruel, murderers can be cruel, small kids can be cruel, life can be cruel...i could go on.

The only thing that seem to never be cruel is Mr Engineer here. So no point in even saying what or who can be cruel because just about everything can be cruel.