Understanding Male Attraction ( it's more than you think)

[mmKay]

Yup we guys like a piece of ass and titties. for some men that's the end of the story and that's fair enough.

 

I've always been intrigued WHY do I find specific things sexually attractive and other things sexually repulsive .  Why am I attracted to ass, titties, a beautiful face and smile, well put together, youth, slim , makeup and color? 

Today I'm excited to share some simple but personally satisfying answers. 

It felt like zooming outside of my human being to become conscious of myself being this chimp, and that this chimp has specific preferences and dislikes, like love for sweet and hate of bitter, or being a bee and realizing the evolutionary reason why I'm drawn to flowers

 

This may apply to males at large but I've noticed that different guys have slightly different preferences, which only makes sense because of different successful genetic backgrounds ( if your ancestors mated with females with "X" traits, and you're alive here today, it means traits "X" work for survival and therefore are attractive to you)

Quick note. All of this is from an non judgemental POV with the sole purpose of noticing and understanding . In no way I'm trying to make women feel worse about themselves.

Second quick note. Since in the scope of our evolution the risks of sex are minimal for men compared to women (besides getting your head smashed in by another male/gang of males for having sex with the wrong woman ) we are more okay with just sticking it in literally any chance that we get and possibly skipping on any of these preferences. 

Women on the other hand get f*cking disabled for a year and they can LITERALLY DIE if impregnated. ACTUALLY LITERALLY DIE. Therefore they are a little more picky.

 

Anyways, from my BIOLOGIES POV, for me to be attracted to a woman she has to display physical traits that mean she can bear children GOOD,  and a minimum degree of mental capacities ( otherwise it would be a turnoff because it signals bad genetic material)

For me personally, I know if I'm physically attracted to a women immediately. At a primal biological level. In a single glance. 

Now since I'm not an absolute chimp, her personality can be a further turn off if it's just not for a pump and dump.

 

This one I found to be the most interesting. And it's the exception to the rule:

• Beautiful face , smile, teeth.

A symetrical Golden Ratio face doesn't provide much raw survival value or information about fertility. The value of a symmetrical face is a strange loop. It's valuable because we value it.

Beauty is slippery. We love the golden ratio. Beauty is valuable because we value beauty. But a pretty face by itself is not enough of an attraction cue as you may have noticed.

You've got all teeth? Clear sign of youth and health. Showing your teeth in monkey societies signals submission . Perfectly aligned teeth are more of a aesthetic and universally recognized love of Beauty in the abstract, like Greek sculptures. 

• Why men/I'm not attracted to chubby / fat women

This one I've been racking my mind over the longest, and the Insight came to me watching an Instagram reel of a couple dancing bachata.

It was a before / during pregnancy dance video.

In the initial video the girl was slim and I felt she looked very attractive. Few seconds later, the video was cut to them dancing months later where you could tell she is just a tiny little pregnant, she had an inflated belly and my attraction was immediately killed!!

 

So the Insight is that I'm genetically not attracted to chubby or fat women because it resemblances pregnancy. That their fertile real estate is currently taken and therefore not worth pursuing. Also you can't tell THAT easily if they're pregnant already .

Imagine you had sex with a female thousands of years ago and she was pregnant already and you raised a child that's not yours. It's shooting yourself in the foot genetically. Although you may argue being overweight was pretty uncommon throughout history. I know personally men who are into chubby girls.

On the other hand, easily storing fat would be extremely useful and therefore attractive for species who have to survive in places of extreme cold like Alaska. Otherwise It kind of signals scarcity of food and the need to hoard. Historically Surviving is easier if you're capable of consistently obtaining food from outside of your own fat sources. It's more efficient to be thin.

• Make up , Youth , Color

An appearance well taken care of is the physical visual equivalent of seeing muscles on a guy . It's a what's called a "honest signal" , which means it's a conveyance of value that can not be faked. You are strong, end of story. Or in her case , you have put time and effort into your appearance, which signals good caretaking , which is essential for raising children. Contrast it with looking like this

A dishonest signal of value would be mentioning you get laid a lot, even if it's true . Because that CAN be a lie and not true.

Make up covers skin signs of ageing. And genetically we're attracted to young women because they're in their prime for bearing children.

I'm genetically attracted to female eye contact, a primal indicator of sexual interest.

Once two attractive women were in front of me. Only one had done her eyes and eyelashes done. It emphasizes her eyes A LOT more.

 

Colorful make up for eyelids, lipstick etc, simply draw attention for humans overall, not just for men. I have been using my smartphone in black and white mode for the last few weeks and it's astonishing how much less distracting app icons are.

Color provides vital information about ripeness of food, time of day, poisoning factor of food or animals or insects, purity of water, etc. Conclusion : color draws attention because it conveys information.

• Why the hourglass shape?

Thin body with broad hips is the genetic  preference. I didn't know this but broad hips are a big factor on how well the mother can give birth. The mother can literally die if her hips arent wide enough, because of the size of human babies. Nowadays C-sections exist which would minimize the attraction to wide hips, but it's still there instinctually.

• Why the attraction to booty?

It comes from our monkey times. Bonobos and macaques specifically find swollen buttocks more attractive because it signals more estrogen and fertility

• Titties?

I was watching  a absolutely non sexual video. Some people were talking . The woman was wearing a loose shirt. For a speck of a second, she accidentally pulled on a part of her shirt and it slightly shaped to the form of her bra. I instantly noticed I felt a primal feeling of attraction. It was so quick I barely noticed it happening, and had to rewind the video to investigate what the fuck had just happened

If she has breasts , biologically it means she is past puberty and ready to bear children. Non sagging breasts are a signal of youth as well.

 

All of this is just from a primal perspective. Of course modern humans have the capacity to appreciate personality, and for quality couples it's an absolute must.

Hope I shared an insightful perspective about why men judge women that heavily on physical appearance.

Let me know if you want to share some interesting take.

Do not turn this into a gender war post 

 

Edited February 20 by mmKay

[NoSelfSelf]

Conclusion you get scared when you see "attractive" woman.As you wish.

[mmKay]

21 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

Conclusion you get scared when you see "attractive" woman.As you wish.

No you 😉

No trolling pls 

Edited February 19 by mmKay

[NoSelfSelf]

@mmKay No im serious if you lust over womens beauty you are worshipping them,when you worship them you fear them,they are above you and from there comes the behaviour that you must fit into her narrative ,since you dont see any value in yourself at that point.If she doesnt do anything for you then the beauty is irrelivent.Her beauty shouldnt change anything on who you are.

But with talk like this it shows just how much they have power over you.

Edited February 19 by NoSelfSelf

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

Trying to explain the beauty of a woman is like trying to explain a joke imo. If I tell you a joke and you don't get it, I can explain it to you. Maybe you will get it then and find it funny in retrospect, but it will never be the same as if you understood the joke within the flow of the conversation. The punchline looses its punch.

Similarly, being too analytical about a woman's beauty will actually take away from her beauty. You can't get a hold or clear grasp of her beauty. It's something that must be experienced directly. You must flow with her beauty and allow it to melt away your thoughts. True beauty will leave you speechless!

Women have a very calming and nurturing energy, which allows me to stay grounded in the present with them, which then in turn calms them down too and allows them to be present as well. That's the key! Presence.

The female energy is an invitation to meditate. My mind is usually super ADHD, it's like there is a constant lightning storm of ideas rushing through my peripheral, but when I'm with my gf it's a calm sea. It grounds me which gives her a solid foundation to be herself.

My point is simply that you can maximize the beauty of women by taking a "meditative" approach, rather than a "contemplative" approach. It's all about your energies. You could alternatively call it the "trantric" approach, but I don't know a whole lot about tantra so I'm not sure how much that fits the bill.

That's just me though. Maybe my approach simply doesn't fit YOUR bill and that's totally fine. I'm just offering my perspective in hopes of inspiring some deeper insights.

Edited February 19 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[mmKay]

@NoSelfSelf Thanks for the perspective but the point of this thread as th title says is understanding the raw instinctual genetic attraction triggers females trigger in males and their possible evolutionary origin, not benefitial mental frames to get laid.

 

What would be on topic would be contemplation the genetic evolutionary origin of fears like fear of female judgement, why does approach anxiety exist, or why do we crave sex

[NoSelfSelf]

@mmKay my bad i misunderstood the point of the thread.

[Princess Arabia]

@mmKayThis will fly over a lot of people's heads. They are not recognizing that attraction has nothing to do with their choice. It is instinctual. Your post is very intriguing and I've read somewhere something along those lines. A lot to do with evolution, primal instincts, genetics etc. It's fascinating.

[Bazooka Jesus]

19 hours ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

Trying to explain the beauty of a woman is like trying to explain a joke imo. If I tell you a joke and you don't get it, I can explain it to you. Maybe you will get it then and find it funny in retrospect, but it will never be the same as if you understood the joke within the flow of the conversation. The punchline looses its punch.

Similarly, being too analytical about a woman's beauty will actually take away from her beauty. You can't get a hold or clear grasp of her beauty. It's something that must be experienced directly. You must flow with her beauty and allow it to melt away your thoughts. True beauty will leave you speechless!

Women have a very calming and nurturing energy, which allows me to stay grounded in the present with them, which then in turn calms them down too and allows them to be present as well. That's the key! Presence.

The female energy is an invitation to meditate. My mind is usually super ADHD, it's like there is a constant lightning storm of ideas rushing through my peripheral, but when I'm with my gf it's a calm sea. It grounds me which gives her a solid foundation to be herself.

My point is simply that you can maximize the beauty of women by taking a "meditative" approach, rather than a "contemplative" approach. It's all about your energies. You could alternatively call it the "trantric" approach, but I don't know a whole lot about tantra so I'm not sure how much that fits the bill.

That's just me though. Maybe my approach simply doesn't fit YOUR bill and that's totally fine. I'm just offering my perspective in hopes of inspiring some deeper insights.

My man, you NAILED it!

As a guy who is obsessed with the sonic arts, another analogy I'd like to offer is music analysis. Sure, breaking down the way a piece of music is constructed can be interesting from a technical standpoint, but it will never explain why that particular piece touches your soul while others (which might be very similar in terms of musical syntax and artistic craftsmanship) don't. Which is why I have always found stone-cold rational musical analysis kind of distasteful and, in some cases, almost sacrilegious.

If you ask me why I find a particular girl beautiful, I might be able to point out a bunch of superficial things about her that "tick off my boxes"... but there is always that elusive X-factor which cannot be put into words. And of course, as you have rightfully pointed out, this is what gives true beauty its mysteriously enrapturing and transcendental quality: It silences the mind and thus gives you a glimpse of God.

F***ing A, brother.

 

 

Edited February 20 by Bazooka Jesus

[mmKay]

This is actually kinda hilarious wow

How you guys are talking about attraction is exactly how women rationalize their attraction to men lol

It is true as mentioned before, that the nature of what beauty is , is slippery and isn't easily defined. But what triggers ATTRACTION is very definable.  It's just these two concepts are conflated in mainstream vocabulary.

 

You definitely can differ beauty from attraction triggers. ( But beauty is also an attraction trigger )

 

Women just say "I feel attracted to him" but can't put their finger on why they feel that way.

 

But if you practice pick up and study female attraction, you can precisely point it out, and even reverse engineer what triggers attraction in women towards men. This is the core of what pick up is

 

Guys version of being slim, young , with a nice pair and thick booty is being confident, having social status, approval of other women, being emotionally grounded, being non-needy etc. These are traits with evolutionary value of survival.

This is what will trigger in a women the desire to have sex with you and have a child with you.

 

 

Also beauty and the love for beauty is not only about attraction, but it is intertwined. It's a bonus  point. 

it's not just for from women to men and men to women, even though it does influence sexual attraction.

Our entire species appreciates beauty , not only in living beings but clothing, furniture, architecture, nature ,music, animals and so on. Being beautiful on top of having sexual value cues is a bonus.

And we said Beauty is slippery, you can't really put your finger on it, but the golden ratio as linked above a is a good  rule of thumb for a definition of Beauty .

 

All of this is for the purpose of Understanding. When you have a real woman in front of you, of course go ahead enjoy her "beauty" rather than analyzing it.

Edited February 20 by mmKay

[Bazooka Jesus]

50 minutes ago, mmKay said:

This is actually kinda hilarious wow

How you guys are talking about attraction is exactly how women rationalize their attraction to men lol

It is true as mentioned before, that the nature of what beauty is , is slippery and isn't easily defined. But what triggers ATTRACTION is very definable.  It's just these two concepts are conflated in mainstream vocabulary.

Feel free to read (a portion of) my post again:

If you ask me why I find a particular girl beautiful, I might be able to point out a bunch of superficial things about her that "tick off my boxes"... but there is always that elusive X-factor which cannot be put into words. And of course, as you have rightfully pointed out, this is what gives true beauty its mysteriously enrapturing and transcendental quality: It silences the mind and thus gives you a glimpse of God.

You're welcome, sir. 😘

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

49 minutes ago, mmKay said:

It is true as mentioned before, that the nature of what beauty is , is slippery and isn't easily defined. But what triggers ATTRACTION is very definable.  It's just these two concepts are conflated in mainstream vocabulary.

Of course I can define what attracts me to her. If I see a beautiful ass I know that it attracts me, I'm just saying that I personally don't see the point of putting it into words. The ass speaks for itself imo. No amount of theorizing will make her ass more beautiful to me than if I just looked at it. But that's just me, you can theorize all that you want.

[mmKay]

6 minutes ago, DefinitelyNotARobot said:

The ass speaks for itself imo

Lmfao that's poetic philosophy at its best 🤣 

Yea the point of this post is to investigate the evolutionary root of male attraction triggers in females once you've pointed them out

For example, it's to understand why does the ass speak to you and not her kneecap

Edited February 20 by mmKay

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

@mmKay Well that's what a beautiful ass will do to a motherfucker...  😂😂

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

9 minutes ago, mmKay said:

Yea the point of this post is to investigate the evolutionary root of male attraction triggers in females once you've pointed them out

That's fair. I was just talking from within my own bias. As I've said, my post might simply not resonate and that's fine. I was just supplying an alternative perspective. I mean @Bazooka Jesus caught my drift, so someone resonated with it at least.

Edited February 20 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[Israfil]

On 19/02/2024 at 6:17 AM, mmKay said:

Yup we guys like a piece of ass and titties. for some men that's the end of the story and that's fair enough.

 

I've always been intrigued WHY do I find specific things sexually attractive and other things sexually repulsive .  Why am I attracted to ass, titties, a beautiful face and smile, well put together, youth, slim , makeup and color? 

Today I'm excited to share some simple but personally satisfying answers. 

It felt like zooming outside of my human being to become conscious of myself being this chimp, and that this chimp has specific preferences and dislikes, like love for sweet and hate of bitter, or being a bee and realizing the evolutionary reason why I'm drawn to flowers

 

This may apply to males at large but I've noticed that different guys have slightly different preferences, which only makes sense because of different successful genetic backgrounds ( if your ancestors mated with females with "X" traits, and you're alive here today, it means traits "X" work for survival and therefore are attractive to you)

Quick note. All of this is from an non judgemental POV with the sole purpose of noticing and understanding . In no way I'm trying to make women feel worse about themselves.

Second quick note. Since in the scope of our evolution the risks of sex are minimal for men compared to women (besides getting your head smashed in by another male/gang of males for having sex with the wrong woman ) we are more okay with just sticking it in literally any chance that we get and possibly skipping on any of these preferences. 

Women on the other hand get f*cking disabled for a year and they can LITERALLY DIE if impregnated. ACTUALLY LITERALLY DIE. Therefore they are a little more picky.

 

Anyways, from my BIOLOGIES POV, for me to be attracted to a woman she has to display physical traits that mean she can bear children GOOD,  and a minimum degree of mental capacities ( otherwise it would be a turnoff because it signals bad genetic material)

For me personally, I know if I'm physically attracted to a women immediately. At a primal biological level. In a single glance. 

Now since I'm not an absolute chimp, her personality can be a further turn off if it's just not for a pump and dump.

 

This one I found to be the most interesting. And it's the exception to the rule:

• Beautiful face , smile, teeth.

A symetrical Golden Ratio face doesn't provide much raw survival value or information about fertility. The value of a symmetrical face is a strange loop. It's valuable because we value it.

Beauty is slippery. We love the golden ratio. Beauty is valuable because we value beauty. But a pretty face by itself is not enough of an attraction cue as you may have noticed.

You've got all teeth? Clear sign of youth and health. Showing your teeth in monkey societies signals submission . Perfectly aligned teeth are more of a aesthetic and universally recognized love of Beauty in the abstract, like Greek sculptures. 

• Why men/I'm not attracted to chubby / fat women

This one I've been racking my mind over the longest, and the Insight came to me watching an Instagram reel of a couple dancing bachata.

It was a before / during pregnancy dance video.

In the initial video the girl was slim and I felt she looked very attractive. Few seconds later, the video was cut to them dancing months later where you could tell she is just a tiny little pregnant, she had an inflated belly and my attraction was immediately killed!!

 

So the Insight is that I'm genetically not attracted to chubby or fat women because it resemblances pregnancy. That their fertile real estate is currently taken and therefore not worth pursuing. Also you can't tell THAT easily if they're pregnant already .

Imagine you had sex with a female thousands of years ago and she was pregnant already and you raised a child that's not yours. It's shooting yourself in the foot genetically. Although you may argue being overweight was pretty uncommon throughout history. I know personally men who are into chubby girls.

On the other hand, easily storing fat would be extremely useful and therefore attractive for species who have to survive in places of extreme cold like Alaska. Otherwise It kind of signals scarcity of food and the need to hoard. Historically Surviving is easier if you're capable of consistently obtaining food from outside of your own fat sources. It's more efficient to be thin.

• Make up , Youth , Color

An appearance well taken care of is the physical visual equivalent of seeing muscles on a guy . It's a what's called a "honest signal" , which means it's a conveyance of value that can not be faked. You are strong, end of story. Or in her case , you have put time and effort into your appearance, which signals good caretaking , which is essential for raising children. Contrast it with looking like this

A dishonest signal of value would be mentioning you get laid a lot, even if it's true . Because that CAN be a lie and not true.

Make up covers skin signs of ageing. And genetically we're attracted to young women because they're in their prime for bearing children.

I'm genetically attracted to female eye contact, a primal indicator of sexual interest.

Once two attractive women were in front of me. Only one had done her eyes and eyelashes done. It emphasizes her eyes A LOT more.

 

Colorful make up for eyelids, lipstick etc, simply draw attention for humans overall, not just for men. I have been using my smartphone in black and white mode for the last few weeks and it's astonishing how much less distracting app icons are.

Color provides vital information about ripeness of food, time of day, poisoning factor of food or animals or insects, purity of water, etc. Conclusion : color draws attention because it conveys information.

• Why the hourglass shape?

Thin body with broad hips is the genetic  preference. I didn't know this but broad hips are a big factor on how well the mother can give birth. The mother can literally die if her hips arent wide enough, because of the size of human babies. Nowadays C-sections exist which would minimize the attraction to wide hips, but it's still there instinctually.

• Why the attraction to booty?

It comes from our monkey times. Bonobos and macaques specifically find swollen buttocks more attractive because it signals more estrogen and fertility

• Titties?

I was watching  a absolutely non sexual video. Some people were talking . The woman was wearing a loose shirt. For a speck of a second, she accidentally pulled on a part of her shirt and it slightly shaped to the form of her bra. I instantly noticed I felt a primal feeling of attraction. It was so quick I barely noticed it happening, and had to rewind the video to investigate what the fuck had just happened

If she has breasts , biologically it means she is past puberty and ready to bear children. Non sagging breasts are a signal of youth as well.

 

All of this is just from a primal perspective. Of course modern humans have the capacity to appreciate personality, and for quality couples it's an absolute must.

Hope I shared an insightful perspective about why men judge women that heavily on physical appearance.

Let me know if you want to share some interesting take.

Do not turn this into a gender war post 

 

This is fine as long as you perceive it as your personal view on attraction, based on a series of social narratives you've been fed throughout your development.

If you generalize this, although many people do share this perception of male attraction, you fall into the trap of reducing the very complex social, biological, psychological and spiritual phenomenon that is attraction to a series of material indicators that, for the most part, are the least important ones when evaluating it.

 

[mmKay]

@Israfil why are you personally attracted to ass and titties over kneecaps and elbows, and prefer young girls over grandmas? i'm curious

Edited February 21 by mmKay

[Israfil]

39 minutes ago, mmKay said:

@Israfil why are you personally attracted to ass and titties over kneecaps and elbows, and prefer young girls over grandmas? i'm curious

If you read what I wrote you wouldn't have to ask me this.

Plenty of cultures emphasize legs or the mouth over breasts, for instance. Socialization is not separated from biology. It is the "software" that is placed on top of the biological "hardware" to run the "human system". The fact that we feel attracted to each other is biological. What is erotic can be skewed to serve social purposes. Take foot binding or neck stretching. We were socialized to find these practices unattractive. Those people were socialized to find them attractive. 

So to answer your question, I was raised seeing big asses and tits in music videos and porn was pervasive on the entirety of the internet. This lead me to connect those physical features with what is attractive or not. In my adulthood, where I actually explored my sexuality, I find that what I authentically experience as attractive is not as simplistic as an "hourglass body, symmetrical I've met models and women with "the perfect body", that were beautiful, but not attractive to me. That's why I said you were being reductionist.

[mmKay]

@Israfil yes, personal preferences , personal obsessions like crush psychology  ( aka " infatuation"  ), ethnicity , emotional connecion and cultural upbringing are a factor in attraction, both for females and males, but  only after biologically wired definitions of sexual reproductive value.  A long neck or a twisted foot will never be a trigger of attraction for males by itself, but ass, titties and youth will, and the point of the thread is to point at the possible evolutionary reasons why they are what they are. Pick up explains all of female attraction psychology mechanisms beautifully and this is male's version, often dismissed and undefined

the title of the thread should be " understanding male biological attraction " . If any mod reads this, edit the title.

The biological evolutionary origin of the existance of the " crush " fenomenon is pretty fascinating . It's a psychological strategy to increase reproductive success by facilitating mate selection and bonding. So cool. Reminds me of the " imprinting mechanism" in ducks and other birds

 

Edited February 21 by mmKay

[Israfil]

1 hour ago, mmKay said:

@Israfil yes, personal preferences , personal obsessions like crush psychology  ( aka " infatuation"  ), ethnicity , emotional connecion and cultural upbringing are a factor in attraction, both for females and males, but  only after biologically wired definitions of sexual reproductive value.  A long neck or a twisted foot will never be a trigger of attraction for males by itself, but ass, titties and youth will, and the point of the thread is to point at the possible evolutionary reasons why they are what they are. Pick up explains all of female attraction psychology mechanisms beautifully and this is male's version, often dismissed and undefined

the title of the thread should be " understanding male biological attraction " . If any mod reads this, edit the title.

The biological evolutionary origin of the existance of the " crush " fenomenon is pretty fascinating . It's a psychological strategy to increase reproductive success by facilitating mate selection and bonding. So cool. Reminds me of the " imprinting mechanism" in ducks and other birds

 

There's nothing inherently sexual about tits, man. Indigenous tribes of the Americas don't walk with shirts and males from those tribes are not constantly walking around with boners.