Self help trap

[Butters]

I've been doing some very cool work on myself lately and my main focus right now is creating the lifestyle business I want so I can travel, focus on my art and start a really cool business down the line. 

Doing this I've noticed a very interesting trap that I fell into that I'd like to share with you guys. 

The trap, simply put, is 'identifying as someone who's working on themselves'. 

You can probably already guess why this is bad practice. For example:

• V1: "I'm going to reach my goals this week" (there is no other way) 
• V2: : "I hope to reach my goals this week" (and I'll work on it) 

So what happens when V1 doesn't reach the goals, or input from the outside world doesn't match with the vision? I was very surprised to have fears, frustrations, anxiety come up that I hadn't seen in years. Something wasn't working. 

Waking up at 5AM to seize the day with 3 hours of morning rituals, facing my fears and working hard, and nothing gets done. 

So now that I've burned out from this one too many times I'm trying something new. Bite-sized, realistic goals with no strict schedule attached, as that beats the whole purpose of this lifestyle business. No more "putting happiness off into the future" but just living the life I want to live today, while working on my business from a place that seems more honest. 

Success comes from the present moment. 

Productivity is 95% a lie as I keep falling into a 'false productivity trap' (feeling productive instead of actually getting shit done). More hours at the computer doesn't equal more income. In fact, more clear thinking away from the computer probably increases my income way more. 

Seriously I'm not trying to find the cure for cancer here, just build upon my lifestyle business so I can travel a little and save money. 

There's wisdom is being present and following intuition. Following those intuitive thoughts for what to do next. There's little wisdom in my rational schedule based life. God was I miserable after that last week, I felt so disconnected. 

[Princess Arabia]

There's no self to help.

[Ulax]

Sounds great dude, right on

[Butters]

7 hours ago, Princess Arabia said:

There's no self to help.

Yeah I guess it's a bit of a paradox. 

I've noticed you're always really into the LoA stuff and I love that. What do you think is the biggest misconception about it? I could say "I believe I can only sleep 4 hours and be a millionaire within 6 months" but then the real-world results are going to conflict with that so much it's gonna throw me off. 

Or is it "What the mind believes, the mind creates and achieves." but I just confused brain for mind, and mind is something else? 

Have you done any techniques to reprogram your subconscious beliefs? I'm currently doing a hypnosis program for that with money beliefs called NeuroGym, it's interesting. 

5 hours ago, Ulax said:

Sounds great dude, right on

Thank you! 

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

Looks like you've had some great insights! Good for you.

13 hours ago, Butters said:

The trap, simply put, is 'identifying as someone who's working on themselves'. 

Yeah it depends on how you approach this subject. Self-help can often imply, that there is this tiny little weak human, that is too stupid to live, and now needs to consume more self-help content in order to become a functional person.

c o n s u m e   m o r e

w o r k   h a r d e r

That's the self-help survival machine. It needs to give people reasons to "work" on themselves in order to keep thriving.

That doesn't mean that consuming self-help material is bad, but the truth is that you've already got everything that you need in order to shine! The self-help content should just be the glitter on top, not the foundation.

There is a difference between trying to figure shit out and actually figuring shit out, a lot of self-help is directed at the former. To actually figure shit out you have to make a mental leap of faith and get a direct taste of the fact that you CAN actually figure it out! You've got it man!

That's when self-help material will become truly valuable.

Edited February 6 by DefinitelyNotARobot

[Thought Art]

Do you make money from your lifestyle business? 
 

What makes your lifestyle so valuable?

Have you had success in the past or something? That people are interested in your lifestyle?

Curious 

Edited February 6 by Thought Art

[Butters]

2 hours ago, Thought Art said:

Do you make money from your lifestyle business? 
 

What makes your lifestyle so valuable?

Have you had success in the past or something? That people are interested in your lifestyle?

Curious 

So by lifestyle business I mean an online business that allows me to travel and am not time or location bound to anything. So basically passive income online. 

I've had a Etsy store for almost 3 years now that I live from but I messed up financially, I just got lazy. In a nutshell: I had easy access to business loans so I had money. Then even when the numbers went down, I'd have a magical thinking "oh it'll be fine". On the bright side it did give me lots of time to explore my passions and do inner work, but now I have a lot of debt. 

Now my goal is to expand with more Etsy stores, more online platforms and automate as much as I can. I'm doing Print-on-Demand, a kind of dropshipping. I'm doing it, the trick is to be myself and do it at the same time or I'll get too stressed. 

[Thought Art]

@Butters Hm, sounds like you’re learning as you go. Hopefully you can make it work, pay off the debt and run a profitable business.

[Thought Art]

 

[universe]

Yes, don't condition your happiness. And every action (and non action) you take out of abundance will bring you more and more of it.

And it is even more about the stuff you don't do.

❤️