You'd better not have any expectations towards women

[TheGod]

I'm gonna share with you a story that deepened my idea that making expectations with women is very unproductive.

I work as a front desk agent in a hotel. It was a Saturday night and I was registering a lot of guest. There were a few girls that I was checking in into our hotel. They looked very attractive. One of them very flirty with me and she asked me where would I go on a Friday night and I told her the place saying "I go there every Saturday". She smiled at me saying "you'd better be there tonight, because I'm gonna go there". I told her that she should expect to see me there because I'm gonna be there. My college ( a girl) re-confirmed my idea that she was flirting by saying, "man, she clearly wants to see what you have down there".

When my shift was over I went home, changed my clothes, took a shower and headed to the place. I didn't go there to see her (because I go there every weekend as I said). I didn't look for her either. I was dancing when she saw me. She was terrified guys. She said she didn't expect me to be in the club, she thought I was joking. At the same time I saw fear in hear eyes. I thought she assumed that I came there in order to hunt her hahaha. After having a quick chat with me she started leaving the dance floor, again, she was really scared. Of course I didn't follow her or something, but I was really surprised by her reaction.

Women are from a different planet 

[numbersinarow]

You're from a different planet, since looks of religious disdain for walking down the street (from women) and a look of absolute terror from a girl who flirted with you, are a normal occurance.

The predominant emotion is projected on the man, then they feel their own original emotion coming from him... which, of course, is hate.

[NoSelfSelf]

This is where game comes in,you focused on her being scared and not on how to take the fear away...

She was experiencing same thing that average guy experience with seeing "hot" woman ,you have something she noticed in you so you must be natural or whatever is the name, but lacking game on concious level...

Edited November 16, 2023 by NoSelfSelf

[numbersinarow]

24 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

This is where game comes in,you focused on her being scared and not on how to take the fear away...

She was experiencing same thing that average guy experience with seeing "hot" woman ,you have something she noticed in you so you must be natural or whatever is the name, but lacking game on concious level...

Assuming that she was in fact both scared and attracted to him [Don't assume this willy-nilly.] then it's difficult to see how it's more reasonable to say that his natural game/body language in the brief time he interacted with her was what had her decide to talk to him, as opposed to looks.

What's the threshold where you just have to admit that she's not "testing you" or "being cautious" but genuinely is not attracted to you? If she is never scared of another guy but shows some fear around you, is that a point where she just is not attracted, or not?

[NoSelfSelf]

@numbersinarow Women dont naturally come to you if you dont have something about you that they see you are that guy,who knows whats in her mind was there and who cares she showed interest he did good there but later when they talked he didnt mention what was going on...

To see if shes interested:

If she is not complaint to what you are suggesting and telling her to do then there is no interest, she could test you for example but you tell her come here for a second and she does it there is some interest, if you tell her to call you and she does there is higher interest etc.

[Spiritual Warrior]

Dude she wasn't afraid of you hunting her down... She was nervous around you because she was attracted to you... in this sense men and women are the exact same.. we both get anxious when we like someone or feel attracted. 

Women can be very socially awkward around guys .. I find this cute and endearing about them ... You as the man in this situation have to take on the responsibility of making her feel comfortable and at ease with you. 

Edited November 16, 2023 by Spiritual Warrior

[TheGod]

5 hours ago, Nabd said:

You should've said something like "when I told you I come here every weekend, I meant it" then while locking eye contact, dance away and talk a different girl then go back to the first girl.

That's exactly what I said 

[TheGod]

11 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

This is where game comes in,you focused on her being scared and not on how to take the fear away...

She was experiencing same thing that average guy experience with seeing "hot" woman ,you have something she noticed in you so you must be natural or whatever is the name, but lacking game on concious level...

Thanks for pointing that out! I didn't actually think about it.

[TheGod]

5 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Dude she wasn't afraid of you hunting her down... She was nervous around you because she was attracted to you...

I think that's what I'm missing to notice with women. I never thought that a girl would be nervous around me, I used to be nervous around them but not the opposite 

[TheGod]

11 hours ago, numbersinarow said:

You're from a different planet, since looks of religious disdain for walking down the street (from women) and a look of absolute terror from a girl who flirted with you, are a normal occurance.

The predominant emotion is projected on the man, then they feel their own original emotion coming from him... which, of course, is hate.

Sorry, but I don't think I can understand what you said 

[CARDOZZO]

First girl on the planet with approach anxiety.

Dude is 10/10 😁

[Applegarden8]

Can I expect that I will live tomorrow? Or go to sleep today? How do you think?

[ricachica]

Make her feel welcomed in your space. Technically since you go there so often, the place is more so yours than not, so treat it like your second home. She entered your space, and probably did not know how to engage in it without your lead.

Should have offered her a drink and asked her how she liked the place etc…and go from there. Get her at ease in a place you’re super familiar in that she’s not. She came there for you, not the place, and probably didn’t want to feel like she was intruding if you didn’t make a move.

[TheGod]

16 hours ago, Applegarden8 said:

Can I expect that I will live tomorrow? Or go to sleep today? How do you think?

Well, you definitely should otherwise you'll go nuts 

[TheGod]

2 hours ago, ricachica said:

Make her feel welcomed in your space. Technically since you go there so often, the place is more so yours than not, so treat it like your second home. She entered your space, and probably did not know how to engage in it without your lead.

You're definitely right. 

I misinterpreted her actions. I thought she didn't like me and was afraid of me. I lack experience with women, but I'll get there with time.

[ricachica]

1 hour ago, TheGod said:

You're definitely right. 

I misinterpreted her actions. I thought she didn't like me and was afraid of me. I lack experience with women, but I'll get there with time.

Yeah, the worst feeling ever is being perceived as an unwanted stalker haha, so it was very bold of her to go through with it. Would have been good to make her feel welcome and that it wasn’t odd of her to be there.

[TheGod]

18 minutes ago, ricachica said:

Yeah, the worst feeling ever is being perceived as an unwanted stalker haha, so it was very bold of her to go through with it.

Actually I thought that I was perceived as an unwanted stalker 

[ricachica]

1 hour ago, TheGod said:

Actually I thought that I was perceived as an unwanted stalker 

Interesting :0 well is that’s truly so, then she was maybe projecting aha. but yeah, I’d feel wildly uncomfortable if I was bold enough to meet a stranger at their club. Second-guessing and everything. Only until I was successfully made to not feel so.

[Hojo]

maybe it was your dance moves