I've been going to night clubs alone

[TheGod]

Hi there "myselves", 

For the last month I've been going to night clubs on my own every Saturdays & Sundays (sometimes Fridays). 

I want to share with you how I feel when I go there. 

The first few times I felt really fucking awkward. I though that people would stare at me and would give me weird looks. In reality it never happened because nobody actually cares who you are, who did you come with and other details. People there just come to have fun while being wasted (mostly). 

I like dancing and I go to the dance floor right of the bet. I don't drink alcohol or water, I just go and hit the floor. This was difficult at first as well, since a lot of people there are with their friends, but I noticed that there are lots of guys on their own as well. Unfortunately, a lot of them are very drunk and look really needy (I want to cry when I see them). I watched others approaching women and men, their game is so bad (mine bad as well!). It looks either very creepy, weird, needy or all together.  I think the worst part for me is seeing how guys are being rejected in a very cruel way. A lot of girls just look at the guys who approach them as I would look at something really disgusting. It's really said that women are unaware of how much suffering guys feel and how painful it is for men (beginners) to approach (but neither are guys about girls suffering). 

Anyways, it turns out if you go to a night club to enjoy and you don't look needy girls are actually feel attracted to you. I get approached at least by one girl a night. Unfortunately, I don't feel attracted to those women (they are either very drunk or not attractive for me  or both).

I've been talking to people on the dance floor here and there and what I've noticed is that my social anxiety has been decreasing dramatically, but I'm still not at the place where I want to be in terms of confidence.  

I have very high standards for women so I don't do that many approaches (maybe 1 or 2 or maybe 0 if there is no attractive girl around). I used to try to approach women that I wasn't attracted to but it would always blow up because it was'n authentic. My game is very straight forward, I don't use any techniques or ways of saying things. I just go and say "Hi, I think you're cute" or "I just saw you and wanted to talk to you".  

I'm gonna continue going to night clubs on my own and I recommend you give it a shot as well. 

[Princess Arabia]

5 minutes ago, TheGod said:

Hi, I think you're cute" or "I just saw you and wanted to talk to you". 

These are very lame ways to start up a conversation with a female, especially the latter. Dogs are cute, cats are cute, teddy bears are cute, cute is how teenage girls describe other teenage guys. If a guy called me cute I would think he still lives with his parents. Beautiful or attractive is more flattering. Not even sexy. When a guy calls me sexy that I don't know, I think he just wants to get in my pants. If he says that's a sexy dress or something that I'm wearing looks sexy, that's a different story.

Just go up and say, "hi, I'm God, what's your name". Then she'll say Mary, I'm with Jesus over there getting me a tequila. Want one?" Then you'll say, "Oh my bad, I thought you were alone". Then she'll say, "I am, Jesus is my imaginary friend I invent to get rid of guys I don't want to talk to, but I like you, so do you want one or not?" Then you say "sure." And now you have a gf for the night dancing away drinking lots of tequilas and you propose get married and have a baby name Joseph.

How hard was that.

[TheGod]

4 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

If a guy called me cute I would think he still lives with his parents

It's actually good for me. Because it clearly shows that you're not the type of a girl that I would like to date  haha 

It's impossible to find perfect words for every girl and there is no need to do so. 

I opened my ex girlfriend simply by saying, "Hi, I think you're cute, can I get your number"?

Simple as it is. 

 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, TheGod said:

I opened my ex girlfriend

That's why she's an ex. Hehe. 

[Princess Arabia]

1 hour ago, TheGod said:

Because it clearly shows that you're not the type of a girl that I would like to date

If a guy said to me hi, I think you're cute can I get your number, I'd ask him what grade in high school was he in. Numbers are earnt. Show me why I should give you my number.

[TheGod]

1 minute ago, Princess Arabia said:

If a guy said to me hi, I think you're cute can I get your number, I'd ask him what grade in high school was he in. Numbers are earnt. Show me why I should give you my number.

I would probably laugh and say, "thank you, have a good day" 

Answering that question would be considered as too much of investment, unless your'e extremely attractive. 

It would also mean for me that you're not appreciating my honesty and directness by asking this question, because it assumes that I'm a teenager or something. 

Bad for you, because you've just lost a high-quality guy  

 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, TheGod said:

I would probably laugh and say, "thank you, have a good day" 

Answering that question would be considered as too much of investment, unless your'e extremely attractive. 

It would also mean for me that you're not appreciating my honesty and directness by asking this question, because it assumes that I'm a teenager or something. 

Bad for you, because you've just lost a high-quality guy  

 

You came at me, so obviously you saw something you liked. How is it my loss. I cannot lose something I never had. ( I know we're just being hypothetical). Damn at least have a conversation first. That qualifies for earning a number. If you think having a conversation to get to know someone even for a little bit is too much investment before a number, then that number wouldn't be worth much to you if you got it that easy and wouldn't be worth giving out.

[TheGod]

13 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

you saw something you liked

Well, it must've been some physical attributes that made me come and talk to you. Maybe it's your eyes, maybe the colour of your hair, or maybe your style and so on. I didn't lose a lot anyways. 

 

15 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

If you think having a conversation to get to know someone even for a little bit is too much investment before a number, then that number wouldn't be worth much to you if you got it that easy and wouldn't be worth giving out.

I don't mind talking to a girl for hours as long as I enjoy conversation and the way her mind works. 

There's is no point of thinking that a number has a lot of worth. I've had conversations that lasted for hours and when I was giving a number the girl wouldn't respond on my texts the next day. 

The point here is that you never know if something happens. You can go on dates for days and then a girl says "You're such a good friend". Or you can talk to a girl for one hour and have a sex with here the same day and start dating. 

If you're that good and I don't get your number, well, it's sad but there are a lot of other options. For both of us.

No means next. 

 

[Bazooka Jesus]

10 hours ago, TheGod said:

I'm gonna continue going to night clubs on my own and I recommend you give it a shot as well. 

Good on you, my man.

Yeah, the worst thing you can possibly do is to needlessly overcomplicate all this stuff. Trial an error is the name of the game. Just go out, try stuff, play around and have fun with it. If you keep at it, there is no way in hell that you're not going to make progress and see results.

✊️

[Leo Gura]

13 hours ago, TheGod said:

I don't do that many approaches (maybe 1 or 2 or maybe 0 if there is no attractive girl around).

You gotta lower your standards. As least for the purposes of gaining experience.

1-2 approaches is not enough to learn game. You need to be doing 20 approaches a night at least.

Ultimately, relocate to a city where there are more attractive girls.

Getting some wingmen is also important for your progress. You need to find guys who are good with girls and observe and emulate them.

Edited November 16, 2023 by Leo Gura

[Miguel1]

15 hours ago, TheGod said:

The first few times I felt really fucking awkward. I though that people would stare at me and would give me weird looks. In reality it never happened because nobody actually cares who you are, who did you come with and other details.

Most people feel the same way.

Unless you are really peacocking, or a bunch of girls are throwing themselves at you physically, you are not that special that anyone notices or cares. They are all in their own heads, before they get drunk and loose. But then they definitely dont care to judge because they are out of their judgemental mind.

 

—-

Other than that, like Leo said, you need to approach more. Talk to everyone, men, women, ugly, pretty, average. Doesnt matter. Most important is you warm yourself up into a social mood and start having fun with everyone. Make the place become like your home with bunch of homies and your confidence will shoot through the roof.

Don’t underestimate the power of warming up. Just like anything really in life, you are nowhere near your best if you are cold and not warmed up.

Sure as your baseline level skills improve to advanced and mastery level, you can still do well without warming up. But you are nowhere there.

Also, one of the best things of warming up and talking to everyone is that you build massive social proof. You will become the guy everyone knows in the party.

So not only do you build ton of fun energy, but you also build massive social proof. And I’m assuming I don’t need to explain the importance of social proof to you.

Edited November 16, 2023 by Migue Lonas

[Spiral Wizard]

8 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

relocate to a city where there are more attractive girls.

Highly recommend Barcelona. 

[mmKay]

great! I recommend you lower your standard for what you regard as success besides of what Leo said

Physically reaching the club : win

saying hi to someone : win

handshake : win

eye contact: win

smile exchange : win

smalltalk : win

laughter : win

Hug : win

5 min conversation win

etc etc etc

Edited November 17, 2023 by mmKay

[Bandman]

@Leo Gura if I may ask, how many approaches would you estimate you have done in total, and if you would do a 100 nightclub approaches now, how many would you lay, including numbers that ultimately lead to a lay? 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, mmKay said:

great! I recommend you lower your standard for what you regard as success besides of what Leo said

Physically reaching the club : win

saying hi to someone : win

handshake : sin

eye contact: win

smile exchange : win

smalltalk : win

laughter : win

Hug : win

5 min conversation win

etc etc etc

What's the lose.

[Princess Arabia]

2 minutes ago, Bandman said:

@Leo Gura if I may ask, how many approaches would you estimate you have done in total, and if you would do a 100 nightclub approaches now, how many would you lay, including numbers that ultimately lead to a lay? 

Numbers that lead to a lay? What are we potato chips? Lol. Don't mind me. 

[TheGod]

9 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Ultimately, relocate to a city where there are more attractive girls.

Maybe in a few years. I have some other more important things to deal with first. 

I can't be that invested in the game for now 

[TheGod]

3 minutes ago, Princess Arabia said:

potato chips

Indeed 

[Princess Arabia]

1 minute ago, TheGod said:

Indeed 

As long as you like mint flavored chips, I'm down, or pistachio flavored, or broccoli, or spinach flavor.

[TheGod]

9 minutes ago, mmKay said:

great! I recommend you lower your standard for what you regard as success besides of what Leo said

 

I tried lowering my standards but it doesn't work very well for me. I think girls feel that I'm just trying to chit-chat with them without genuine attraction. Besides, I work in a hotel so I talk to a lot of people everyday (different age, sex, looks, etc.).