My life is hell

[thierry]

Hello, I’m sorry and I won’t explain the details but my life is hell. I feel I’ll never escape and it’s been only 27years so I do not know how I’ll do.

Anyway, I’m not here to get motivational speech or reassurance from you.

It is the just that the only thought that reassure me is that when I’ll die, all of this I’m living will have no existence whatsoever. It will just be a nightmare I woke up from. It will be as it as never even existed. Is that true ? Plz I need you to tell me that yes. One day I’ll die and my life will be as it never happened.

[Thought Art]

@thierry Hey, I can understand that life is very hard at times during our lives and that you may be looking for answers that one day everything is guaranteed to be okay. I relate to that. However, please reach out to some professional services to talk about what you are going through. That is what I do. I am 28, and I do suffer from depression and hopelessness and suicidal thoughts. It's challenging but I was traumatized and I've made foolish decisions so I have to work twice as hard as most people just to really be functional. 

However, I invest in myself ways of regulating my nervous system, my thoughts, me emotions, my responses. I am not always successful but I do see myself growing stronger.

So, I get it. Just remember that this too shall pass. There is no proof that the crap you've been through means your whole life has to suck.

Edited November 12, 2023 by Thought Art

[UnbornTao]

There are not objectively bad circumstances. If something happens why does that have to mean anything?

Are you being honest? You're claiming your life is hell, is that true? When you stop claiming and believing that life is this or that, what that does leave you with?

I'm inviting you to look in this direction; that your assessment is an interpretation, and that you can change it.

Start by allowing your experience to be what it is, including struggle, joy, etc. Allow yourself to feel it completely without acting it out nor suppressing it. Once it is allowed to be, it'll tend to disappear naturally, and something else will come up. Enjoy the ride.

It isn't so much about what you do but about your relationship to it.

Edited November 14, 2023 by UnbornTao

[Thought Art]

23 minutes ago, UnbornTao said:

It isn't about what happens or what you do but about your relationship to it.

This is true but, I also think what happens in your life matters. People with different experiences have different challenges and suffering. Yes, how we relate to it matters but… it’s easy for us to say « just relate to it better » but… life can be hard. I think we can work on both the inner and outer aspects of life… and accept what we can’t change. 

[UnbornTao]

10 hours ago, Thought Art said:

This is true but, I also think what happens in your life matters. People with different experiences have different challenges and suffering. Yes, how we relate to it matters but… it’s easy for us to say « just relate to it better » but… life can be hard. I think we can work on both the inner and outer aspects of life… and accept what we can’t change. 

shit happens, too, not denying that. You're right that it does, what I said doesn't contradict being intelligent about your life. You're holding unfortunate circumstances as fixed or objective and relationship as a superficial self-manipulation done after the fact, from what I gather from your post.

A wealthy man may be miserable despite his lifestyle and a poor guy living austerely and with little possessions may be content and satisfied. This shows a curious dynamic: relationship to circumstances is primordial rather than circumstances themselves. Circumstances don't seem to be fixed, what you find depressing another may for example find adventurous or some such, etc.

Your relationship to it might determine your experience of it.

Edited November 13, 2023 by UnbornTao

[jimwell]

4 hours ago, thierry said:

It is the just that the only thought that reassure me is that when I’ll die, all of this I’m living will have no existence whatsoever. It will just be a nightmare I woke up from. It will be as it as never even existed. Is that true ? Plz I need you to tell me that yes. One day I’ll die and my life will be as it never happened.

Here is your guarantee!

It's sensible to believe that death is simply going back to the state before you were born. Before you were born, did you have any human experience or memories? When you're dead, it feels as if you have never been born.

But it's pathetic and unacceptable to live, only to always look forward to death for relief. It would be a very big tragedy. 

 

[Bazooka Jesus]

If NDE reports are anything to go by, you will remember after death why you decided to come here in the first place. And if you haven't done or learned what you came here to do or learn, then you will probably come back and do it all over again.

But of course, all of that is just hearsay. Ultimately, you will have to find out for yourself.

[thierry]

Thanks for all your replys. It does help. The hopelessness comes from the fact that I really struggle and fight and nothing changes. I have chronic physical and psychological pain since something happened to me. I often think about suicide but maybe that is just karma I have to deal with. It is hard for me to imagine that I accumulated so much karma in this life(unless I really have been blind to the full extent of my selfishness) or I’m open to the fact that I am dealing with karma from past lifes. In the end, there’s no much of a difference between dying now or suffering still. So I guess I’ll take the pain.

[ted73104]

If suicide is the path you take, no one can judge you. However I believe you don't really want to go down that path because you haven't committed suicide yet.

I think most people in our lives (not including the folks who responded here) don't understand how difficult it is when we live with our bodies emitting a deep negative energy almost non-stop. In this state our body is in a serious fight or flight mode, trying to defend ourselves from certain possibilities that may deem us unworthy of love, that makes us feel completely ashamed.

I understand that some people are just trying not to drown in these waves of emotions, but have you ever wondered if you could change your outer circumstance, what outer changes do you need in order to not feel like living in hell? This might be an interesting question, because it might be the case that no amount of money or success in any area can guanrantee us true satisfaction.

Basically what @UnbornTao said above is quite true, however that level of mindfullness is too high for us now. Might have to continue fighting, but do some comtemplation of these types of questions at the same time.