Not getting responses to my texts

[Spiritual Warrior]

On 11/1/2023 at 2:17 PM, Schizophonia said:

I have the opposite problem, I could very quickly get into a relationship if I wanted to with a girl from my university, but I don't have the motivation to push things because I find few girls who really hurt me in the good sense of the term.

Could it be possible that you are just afraid of either loving someone fully or allowing yourself to be loved fully? That is why you are not going after the goal / girl?

 

On 11/1/2023 at 2:17 PM, Schizophonia said:

I see this whole thing about pick-ups and dating sites as a mental illness, the idea of cross-dressing to try to please a random person is beyond me.

If you engage in pickup with integrity, then you won't be crossdressing, you will become your authentic self.  I'm not trying to please a random person, I am in love with the feminine and want to explore this field. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EogjdB3msWA

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=y73pYVYthOA

https://info.girlschase.com/fbit/girl-doesnt-text-back

https://www.girlschase.com/girl-doesnt-text-back

[Spiritual Warrior]

6 minutes ago, Raze said:

 

 

Lets focus on the first three points for now: 

1. Get her to qualify herself:

• Girl one: Completed. She approached me directly through one of her friends on the dance floor. I did not show immediate interest and continued dancing around. Her friend approaches me again and again, making eye contact with me. Eventually I walk up to girl one and dance in front of her for 10 seconds, then put my hand out, she grabs my hand and we dance for 30 minutes straight. She is hooked.
• Girl two: Completed: She started talking about the job that she hates, then she starts talking about the pottery that she makes and shows me her Pottery Instagram page. I am allowing her to qualify herself. As a matter of fact, I would not have asked her for her number if she was unable to qualify herself as an interesting person.

2. Set the premise for future plans

• Girl one: Failed. No future plan talk. 
• Girl two: Failed. No future plan talk. (Next time a girl says that shes into pottery or the arts, I'm going to say we should go to this pottery place near my work and make some artwork together.) 

3. Get you name and # in her phone

• Girl one: Completed: I put my number in her phone with my name on it. 
• Girl two: Failed: I took down her number into my phone. I didn't feel comfortable enough with her to grab her phone and put my phone number in it.

Thank you @Raze , this was helpful. 

[SeaMonster]

On 10/31/2023 at 11:28 AM, Spiritual Warrior said:

Alright, in the past two weeks, I've gotten two phone numbers.

The first girl, I danced and talked with all night, probably for 3 hours total, got her number, texted her a couple of days later and invited her to a mutual friends party, no response. 

Second girl, I walked up to a cute girl at a bar and talked to her for 10-15 minutes. I felt like I killed it, had her laughing. A couple of days later, I ask her out on a date, no response. 

I'm determine to trudge on so I guess it doesn't matter, but is this a common occurrence? 

I would bet dollars to donuts you didn't get them to invest.

If you don't get them to invest, you're just doing clown game (in other words, you're just her entertainment or narcissistic supply for the hour/evening.)

If she's not investing, the number doesn't mean shit.

[Spiritual Warrior]

19 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

I would bet dollars to donuts you didn't get them to invest.

If you don't get them to invest, you're just doing clown game (in other words, you're just her entertainment or narcissistic supply for the hour/evening.)

If she's not investing, the number doesn't mean shit.

This is such a negative way of framing the situation. It is uninspiring. Why do you think like this?

Wouldn't you rather inspire people by giving actual advice or encouragement? 

Edited November 3, 2023 by Spiritual Warrior

[SeaMonster]

11 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Wouldn't you rather inspire people by giving actual advice or encouragement? 

My advice would be to...get her to invest. I encourage you to get her to invest. 

(If you need specific examples, ask away. E.g. if you get quiet for a bit, does she restart the conversation? If you ask an open-ended question, does she give you a long answer?)

If not, she's just being entertained.

[Spiritual Warrior]

32 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

My advice would be to...get her to invest. I encourage you to get her to invest. 

(If you need specific examples, ask away. E.g. if you get quiet for a bit, does she restart the conversation? If you ask an open-ended question, does she give you a long answer?)

If not, she's just being entertained.

Hmmm... Okay that's an interesting perspective, I get where your coming from now. I would say that I didn't get either of them to invest, I was just entertainment for them for the night. Yeah I actually think you're right ... 

That makes me feel crappy, like I'm a toy being used... Of course I am using every other girl that I hit on as a toy as well.... I don't want that one particular girl... I mean I do... But it's just for the experience... To put another notch on my belt.. so I guess we're both using each other.. that's how this works. 

Edited November 3, 2023 by Spiritual Warrior

[The0Self]

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

I would bet dollars to donuts you didn't get them to invest.

If you don't get them to invest, you're just doing clown game (in other words, you're just her entertainment or narcissistic supply for the hour/evening.)

If she's not investing, the number doesn't mean shit.

Then you simply are chiming in on something you don’t have the experience to really give serious advice on because if you did have extensive experience, your first thought (when seeing that another guy seemingly got rejected by a girl) would be “sounds about right / happens all the time.” It happens most of the time even if you have perfect game and mindset and are 7+/10 attractive. And rejection happens only slightly more when you have rather imperfect game and are not super handsome, but are good enough (or even just think you’re good enough).

Not that you’re entirely wrong. It’s just that betting dollars to donuts that a mere 2 girls not texting back after getting their number, means something significant, is kind of missing the point. Of course he did spend a while with them so you you do kind of have a point, it’s just not even close to the main point.

Yes investment can certainly play a part, but first of all, until sex there’s not that much investment anyway, and in cold approach this is beside the point (volume). For instance if your only sample is girls at your workplace or in your friend group who practically give you a green light before you ask them out, yeah they’ll be invested more and your close rate can be way better than 10%, but if we’re talking about cold approach like (I think) OP is, 10% is absolutely legendary and in my experience not even possible to beat.

So two girls? Yeah you’d be winning a small lottery if either of them closed. Not that it can’t happen. In fact it’s probably around a very-much-not-insignificant 5% chance one of them will, even at this stage with them already not texting back.

Edited November 3, 2023 by The0Self

[Schizophonia]

14 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Could it be possible that you are just afraid of either loving someone fully or allowing yourself to be loved fully? That is why you are not going after the goal / girl?

To be clear I lack willpower. There aren't many girls that I'm attracted to enough for me to say "wow" and take a chance on this thing. Obviously, it also has to be reciprocal.
 

14 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

 

If you engage in pickup with integrity, then you won't be crossdressing, you will become your authentic self.  I'm not trying to please a random person, I am in love with the feminine and want to explore this field. 

I need intimacy in advance to initiate an attempt at seduction. I mainly targeted dating sites where you have to take beautiful “energetically biased” photos, force yourself to start a conversation with someone with whom you a priori have nothing in common, etc. It's swelling.

[SeaMonster]

10 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

That makes me feel crappy, like I'm a toy being used... Of course I am using every other girl that I hit on as a toy as well.... I don't want that one particular girl... I mean I do... But it's just for the experience... To put another notch on my belt.. so I guess we're both using each other.. that's how this works. 

If you're out there even talking to women and getting numbers, you're way ahead of where many if not most guys are.

So appreciate that and build on it.  Game has layers.  There is nothing to feel bad about.  Just add more layers.

[Spiritual Warrior]

33 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

So appreciate that and build on it.  Game has layers.  There is nothing to feel bad about.  Just add more layers.

Yeah thats good advice, layers. And each experience that I have will add another layer, then another layer, then another... until I'm the king.

[Spiritual Warrior]

10 hours ago, The0Self said:

Not that you’re entirely wrong. It’s just that betting dollars to donuts that a mere 2 girls not texting back after getting their number, means something significant, is kind of missing the point. Of course he did spend a while with them so you you do kind of have a point, it’s just not even close to the main point.

Yeah thats spot on, hes got a point, but the main point is that its not a big deal that 2 girls didn't text me back. I gather lessons learned and continue grinding, thats all I can do. 

[The0Self]

35 minutes ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

Yeah thats spot on, hes got a point, but the main point is that its not a big deal that 2 girls didn't text me back. I gather lessons learned and continue grinding, thats all I can do. 

And don’t give up just because they didn’t text back. Any time they don’t reply, wait 2 days and reinitiate with a funny meme, and if she replies get her availability and make plans. Give up after 3 tries. And continue getting more numbers from night, day, and preferably online too (requires good/professional photos for best results).

[SeaMonster]

13 hours ago, The0Self said:

Yes investment can certainly play a part, but first of all, until sex there’s not that much investment anyway, and in cold approach this is beside the point (volume). For instance if your only sample is girls at your workplace or in your friend group who practically give you a green light before you ask them out, yeah they’ll be invested more and your close rate can be way better than 10%, but if we’re talking about cold approach like (I think) OP is, 10% is absolutely legendary and in my experience not even possible to beat.

I think a lot of people don't really understand the subtleties of game, and so "it's a numbers game, bro!" attitudes are prevalent.  Well, the problem with that is that most guys will get really discouraged and disgusted batting 10%.

What I call "blind/autistic cold approach" is just not a particularly efficient way to game. 

The girl's upfront interest matters a lot.  Investment matters a lot, and how you and I interpret investment may be quite different in this context.

Like I said, you can't be a fucking dumbass and not have some level of being able to read where the girl is at at any given point.  I know this is hard for many guys but it is truly the key to unlocking game.  Even the best bulldozers run out of fuel eventually.

If guys invested a fraction of time and energy in learning how to read a girl's body language, vibe, facial expressions, etc. that they do in your typical cold approach techniques, they would benefit greatly.

The point is, wasting 2 hours trying to #-close or pull a girl that is clearly not interested is not good pickup -- it's stupid pickup.  You should be ejecting within 10 minutes if it's clear she's not investing.

 

Edited November 3, 2023 by SeaMonster

[Spiritual Warrior]

30 minutes ago, SeaMonster said:

The point is, wasting 2 hours trying to #-close or pull a girl that is clearly not interested is not good pickup -- it's stupid pickup.  You should be ejecting within 10 minutes if it's clear she's not investing.

A girl wouldn't be hanging out with you for 2 hours if she wasn't interested. It is our job within those two hours to get her to invest, display high value, plan a future with her, etc. 

[Spiritual Warrior]

2 hours ago, The0Self said:

And don’t give up just because they didn’t text back. Any time they don’t reply, wait 2 days and reinitiate with a funny meme, and if she replies get her availability and make plans. Give up after 3 tries. And continue getting more numbers from night, day, and preferably online too (requires good/professional photos for best results).

Lol okay, I'll try the meme, I'll have fun with that. 

[The0Self]

1 hour ago, SeaMonster said:

The point is, wasting 2 hours trying to #-close or pull a girl that is clearly not interested is not good pickup -- it's stupid pickup.  You should be ejecting within 10 minutes if it's clear she's not investing.

Obviously 100% agree.

And yeah if a guy has critical enough errors in his game he will be batting 0.000 unless he really lowers his standards, which I don’t recommend doing too much, but IF someone can find “unattractive” women sexy? Then I’d definitely advise them to use that to their advantage and don’t worry what anyone else thinks, just start there and get calibrated.

If someone is batting zero even with a large sample size (very possible if not very common at first), perhaps what what they need to hear is: Get way simpler and ignore RSD (except for maybe The Jeffy Show; probably the only good guy from RSD). Definitely don’t do any gamy tricks. Just be your self, expressing who you are freely, with dominant body language (relaxed and flowing, not stiff as a board) and speak with commanding/downward inflection, facing her with feet towards her, with strong eye contact (don’t literally stare into her eyes the entire time but definitely learn to hold her gaze for long periods), and speak with no filter and pay no mind to what’s coming out of your mouth until after the girl reacts (pay attention to what you’ve said and what the girl responds to it with, but pay NO special attention to what you are currently saying or are about to say; whatever comes to mind, say it) — that’s probably 75% of the game right there. The most grave error is trying to say things to make it work (which at least in part comes from fear of rejection). Speech should be used simply for multi-threaded conversation in exactly the same way you’d have a good conversation with your dad or best friend BUT with sexuality/flirtation injected in, and leading the girl.

And of course it all starts with the mindset “I am super awesome and good enough for any girl” — and don’t hesitate to mention things about you that are awesome or showcasing of attractive traits. Without bragging though — if you’re a lawyer you certainly wouldn’t want to say “ever dated a lawyer before?” 🤮 as it screams “my self isn’t good enough for you, oh great goddess, but I do happen to have this thing that I can show you instead, to cover up how much of a loser I am!” So don’t do that.

Edited November 3, 2023 by The0Self

[Javfly33]

Set a more intimate/sexual frame, get the numbers ONLY when is very clear you two want to go on a date. 

I´ve wasted too much energy and hopes getting half ass worked numbers. 

[SeaMonster]

4 hours ago, Spiritual Warrior said:

A girl wouldn't be hanging out with you for 2 hours if she wasn't interested.

Oh yes she would.  This seems to be a critical flaw in your understanding of women, which once remedied may really improve your efficiency.

Talking to a hot woman for 2 hrs. is nothing.  If she craves attention and/or entertainment she will hang out with you.  

This DOES NOT mean investment, desire, etc.  That's why I stress checking investment.

Is she an attention vampire or is she really desirous of you? Those are two different states.

Young guys can be super-impressed that a hot woman is talking to them.

No.  After you gain some experience you know that's not really impressive.  Hot women will talk to you if you're amusing to them.

Edited November 3, 2023 by SeaMonster

[SeaMonster]

4 hours ago, The0Self said:

and speak with no filter and pay no mind to what’s coming out of your mouth until after the girl reacts (pay attention to what you’ve said and what the girl responds to it with, but pay NO special attention to what you are currently saying or are about to say; whatever comes to mind, say it

It depends.  Some guys will sperg out, or talk about things that aren't going to move it forward.  You should generally stick to "chick crack" topics imo.