Do women lack empathy for men?

[Reignforest]

Disclaimer: this is not a post to bash women but to gain understanding. I love women, I was raised by a single mother and have 4 daughters. 

So I say this bc I've noticed a pattern that the women I know seem to lack empathy for the men in their lives. This applies to family, friends and co workers. A personal example would be when I'm injured or sick I notice that my wife will get visibly upset bc she has to do more work. This could be after getting a tooth removed, a slipped disc in spine, or positive could test. Even with undeniable proof she'll act like I'm faking it. And shell still expect me to run errands, do chores or anything I normally do. Whereas if she's slightly sick I'll cater to every need even more so than normal. 

I recently saw a video that suggested that women behave this way intentionally to test their man's strength. Another example would be if she asks me if I want to get chocolate or Chinese food. Knowing full well that I don't, but she won't just say that she wants those things. Again I'm not alone, I've noticed the same pattern in coworkers, family and  friends. In fact when I try to mention selfish behavior to my own mother she wil defend my wife. As though I'm expected to do all the work and make all the money. It's almost as though it's an unspoken universal truth that men have no value unless they are actively working.

[Raze]

Studies have found in general both women and men tend to have more empathy for women.

Someone’s empathy for you is also dependent on their individual personality and relationship to you. For example sometimes women can have reduced empathy for men because they were hurt by men in the past, or they don’t feel as much empathy for men who they subconsciously view as weak and they do not respect.

You may have also codependent traits that cause you to be drawn to people who tend to exploit you.

Edited October 5, 2023 by Raze

[Reignforest]

@Raze Yeah I know my wife sees me as weak bc she knows im afraid of her taking the kids. This lets her get away with a lot more than she should. Also I agree with codependent issues.  When we first got together I was just grateful that I could be loved by anyone. However as I get older I'm beginning to see that this isn't love. However I'm still trying to make it work bc we're both invested so deeply. Anyway I'm getting off topic. I've noticed this with all women. They just seem incapable of understanding men's problems,  if they ever give it any thought.

[mr_engineer]

Honestly, it depends on the woman. 

If you are vulnerable about how you're feeling with the right women, they will 100% have empathy for you. If they don't, they're narcissistic and you can emotionally distance yourself from them. They will not complain about your 'emotional unavailability' anyways. 

A lot of women with daddy-issues grow up believing that men have no feelings at all, that men are these stoic narcissistic animals. Until they meet a man who is vulnerable with them about his feelings. Then they're able to be more empathetic. 

And, one final point - if they give you the 'man up' talk, that's benevolent emasculation. I talk about it on this thread: 

 

Edited October 5, 2023 by mr_engineer

[jdc7733]

Why do men lack empathy for women?

[Consept]

In general I think women can lack empathy toward men. This is to do with how we are socialised, men are encouraged to be independent, tough and not show emotions. Women are encouraged to basically be the opposite. Women see men more as protectors and men see women as people to protect. So in this whole equation, mens feelings are buried and so women treat them as such. It takes very conscious individuals to break these patterns. 

Ive also asked women about this and the ones ive asked genuinely dont consider mens emotions, these are not pyscho women, just normal, nice women. 

[Reignforest]

@mr_engineer narcissistic women don't like emotionemotionally unavailable men either bc they can't exploit them as easily. Your benevolent emasculation post is interesting,  but long. I'll have to get back to you on that. 

[NoSelfSelf]

She doesnt respect you, see you as weak you are not in your masculine and that makes her feel unsafe and bitchy, if you are strong she would be the opposite...

One woman can be a complete sweetheart to one guy and totally bitchy towards another ,its all from perception of who you present yourself as and how you are around her...

Since you are from single mother and didnt have a fatherfigure then you screwed...

This is repeated so much 

If you are a man she will respect you.

Also she will try to push your buttons and see what she can get with ,so if she starts some fight and you tolerate it thats what you going to have.

Guys have so much tolerance from women you should have zero tolerance for any bs...!

 

[Reignforest]

@jdc7733 Imo the men that lack empathy towards women lack empathy for everyone.  Its much more common that men cater to women's desires excessively. But the other way around isn't even a  thought to consider. 

[universe]

 

Feminine and masculine qualities are different. You can't expect that when you go into the more feminine side you will get as much positive response from a woman as if you where fully in your masculine. The same goes the other way around. If she would act all masculine you would have a hard time coming to terms with that as well.

Now, while this is the case you can still be respectful with each other. But that's a different topic.

[Reignforest]

25 minutes ago, Consept said:

I've also asked women about this and the ones ive asked genuinely dont consider mens emotions, these are not pyscho women, just normal, nice women. 

I've noticed the same thing with my mom, grandmas,  aunts, sister,  cousins, etc. They ask me to look at the woman's perspective as though I didn't already. But when I try to address the man's perspective they are incapable of understanding, even if I point it out in blunt direct details with examples. 

[Reignforest]

@NoSelfSelf I'm curious what your perspective of masculine is. I'm not interested in being a victim of divorce.  I'm not interested in divorce at all but I'd rather take the offensive than be subject to it. I've seen too many family members torn apart by being defensive and losing. 

[Reignforest]

@universe are you implying tht the expression/communication of emotion is feminine?

[universe]

Just now, Reignforest said:

@universe are you implying tht the expression/communication of emotion is feminine?

Yes

[Reignforest]

@universe so when I slipped a disc in my spine,  could barely move without excruciating pain.  I should just man up and do her honey do list without complaint?

[mr_engineer]

25 minutes ago, Reignforest said:

@mr_engineer narcissistic women don't like emotionemotionally unavailable men either bc they can't exploit them as easily. Your benevolent emasculation post is interesting,  but long. I'll have to get back to you on that. 

A narcissistic man isn't ideal, sure, but he would be 'familiar'. Simply because the only way to relate with a narcissist is purely transactional and if you're a narcissist yourself, the 'no strings attached' aspect of it could appeal to you. 

[Reignforest]

@mr_engineer I can see that. We both struggle to not have a transactransactional relationship 

[universe]

2 minutes ago, Reignforest said:

@universe so when I slipped a disc in my spine,  could barely move without excruciating pain.  I should just man up and do her honey do list without complaint?

What is a honey do list? But no, then you go to the hospital. Listen to what they tell you what the treatment plan is and make health a priority in your life.

You are the one who is in charge. You are responsible for every fucking thing in your life.

If in doubt -> Self-Love is always the correct path.

[Reignforest]

@universe a honey do list is her to do list for me, which often takes priority over my own in her perspective.  Not saying I comply, it's just her preference. 

I  did go to a hospital and took care of myself.  However this didn't prevent her from being petty and bitchy until after I healed.

[Raze]

2 hours ago, Reignforest said:

@Raze Yeah I know my wife sees me as weak bc she knows im afraid of her taking the kids. This lets her get away with a lot more than she should. Also I agree with codependent issues.  When we first got together I was just grateful that I could be loved by anyone. However as I get older I'm beginning to see that this isn't love. However I'm still trying to make it work bc we're both invested so deeply. Anyway I'm getting off topic. I've noticed this with all women. They just seem incapable of understanding men's problems,  if they ever give it any thought.

Try no more mr nice guy by Robert glover and rock solid relationships by David tian