Choosing a wife.

[BassamMo]

When I started doing pickup/getting better with women. I was going for looks more than anything else and at some point I've had my first girlfriend who was a 10 we stayed together for two years but we outgrew each other so it was a mutual decision to breakup but when I think about it now I can't really imagine her being my wife. Her best value was her looks and I felt that I got used to it with couple of months and I started checking other women again. But now in my next girlfriend I'm looking to make her my wife but she has to have a progressive mind and have a similar mindset even if she's not that hot. My question is. Am I looking at this from a good point of view? Is it really smart to look for mindset in a woman rather than her looks only?

[LastThursday]

The smart thing to do is to take in the whole person. You should do it actively not passively. That means instead of someone just fitting what you want, that you encourage each other to open up, and you mould yourselves to each other over time. People change over time, and your perception of them changes too.

[Tanz]

Find a woman who was not raised in a western country if so then go to a country like Portugal where the people are very family oriented still.  

[VictorB02]

On 9/20/2023 at 4:40 AM, BassamMo said:

When I started doing pickup/getting better with women. I was going for looks more than anything else and at some point I've had my first girlfriend who was a 10 we stayed together for two years but we outgrew each other so it was a mutual decision to breakup but when I think about it now I can't really imagine her being my wife. Her best value was her looks and I felt that I got used to it with couple of months and I started checking other women again. But now in my next girlfriend I'm looking to make her my wife but she has to have a progressive mind and have a similar mindset even if she's not that hot. My question is. Am I looking at this from a good point of view? Is it really smart to look for mindset in a woman rather than her looks only?

Yeah this is the natural evolution man. You got what every guy fantasizes about: getting it on with a 10, and you realized it doesn't quite do it for you, so you've raised your standards for what it means to date. This is extremely attractive - especially if you come into contact with a 10 and don't chase like every other guy would, or better yet - you turn down a 10 because you know its a dead end.

There is nothing more attractive than that. That's when you're at your peak "value." Because you've set the precedent that just because they look good, doesn't mean you will pick them. They have to actually prove themselves and their worth to you now.

Choice is power. And women love a powerful man. Especially if their beauty doesn't blind you and turn you into a drooling dog like it does for the other 99% of the dating pool.

Edited September 21, 2023 by VictorB02

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

It depends on what you want. Do you simply want to raise a family? Do you want to have a business and/or travel a lot? It's important to know yourself as a person. Relationships will teach you who you are, so try dating different girls and learn what you like and what you don't like.

I also think that it's important to look at the mindset of a woman too. A good relationship is based on physical attraction (her body, her style, how she carries herself, can she take care of your physical needs?), emotional attraction (Do you vibe on an emotional level? Can you be honest with each other? Can you be vulnerable?), mental attraction (Does she stimulate you intellectually? Are there interesting topics the both of you enjoy talking about? Sex isn't just a physical thing. It's also important to mind-fuck each other as well. ), spiritual attraction (Her aura/vibe, your spiritual connection basically) and a couple of other factors.

These fundamentals are important. People can grow apart in life and it is important to be mindful whether you can actually see yourself growing old with a person or not. Making sure that she can satisfy these physical, emotional, mental and spiritual needs is important. Knowing that she will actually be able to grow with you. My aunt had a few awakenings a while ago (she's into yoga and meditation) and she has realized that she's stuck in a relationship with a guy who can't support her growth (he basically thinks that she's gone insane). He can't support her emotionally or spiritually. He is more of a hard working kind of guy and he is stuck in his growth, unlike my aunt, he has just started growing up into maturity. She doesn't want to leave because of their children.

This happens when you are unaware of who you are and what you actually want. She had to awaken to realize that this wasn't what she wanted. So give it time. Don't rush this. Make a lists with the fundamentals of what would make a "good wife" in your eyes. We're not talking about details like her taste in music, we're talking about the fundamental aspects of her being. For me, I like open mindedness, passion, emotional availability, intelligence, feistiness, independence. A woman that always wants to continue growing, both individually, but also as a couple.

The more basic the list, the better. This will allow you to screen for potential future wives on a much deeper level. Think about the different types of attraction (the ones I've listed earlier) and put down a few essential traits for each of there categories. 

[Raze]

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-0ZpRcLjcmI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=riTO5jyCpxk

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QXB80VEaRQQ