What to do with / how to integrate bad trip message / insight?

[emil1234]

So I made a post about a week ago regarding a bad trip that I had. Basically I got the message that god doesnt want to exist and that consciousness is basically an inescapeable eternal prison. 

I had a similar trip about two years ago, which rattled me pretty bad, and ive been struggling to let the insight go.

So my question is; how do i best integrate this? The way I look at it, is that I have to let this message go. The message has been haunting me for the past two years, and ive been trying to disprove it to myself in my head everyday, coming up with reasons for why it cant be true and so forth. However the trip kinda threw it right in my face like "haha how are you gonna disprove this?"

So in a lot of ways the reasons i decided to take the trip a week ago, was very much in order to disprove this former insight that I had.

So yea, my interpretation is that what I have to do is let it go, i dont want to take the trip literal, since walking around everyday looking at the world like an inescapable eternal prison is not good for me lol.

Would really like some feedback and interpretations, so thanks in advance and lots of love  

 

 

Edited September 18, 2023 by emil1234

[Scholar]

How do you know this is not just a self-created narrative?

 

Not all that is happening during a trip is an insight into the nature of reality. Much of it is just a processing of your own kind of belief system. This is why people can be brainwashed using psychedelics. You can turn any kind of narrative into reality for individuals.

 

I think you need to learn primiarily how you yourself are creating narratives, and how you have difficulty observing how these narratives influence the way you perceive reality, or the way your own personal reality is created through narratives and concepts. So, what you need to do is create distance between yourself and concepts/narratives, and observe how the process of narrative creation functions and how it influences your subjective reality, and how completely relative these narratives are.

 

It would be good if you reached a point where you realized all narratives are just concepts. That everything Leo told you about God and Love is just a narrative and nothing more. It could not possibly be more than that from your point of view, so you have to create a distance to those narratives, and see them for what they truly are. Just stories you self-create.

[Forestluv]

 

28 minutes ago, emil1234 said:

The message has been haunting me for the past two years, and ive been trying to disprove it to myself in my head everyday, coming up with reasons for why it cant be true and so forth. However the trip kinda threw it right in my face like "haha how are you gonna disprove this?"

So in a lot of ways the reasons i decided to take the trip a week ago, was very much in order to disprove this former insight that I had.

To me, this looks like a contracted mindspace into binary thinking of either true or false. This can lead the mind to try and prove or disprove.

Another view is to go prior to the subconscious assumption of "That is either true or false". In the space prior to that assumption, the mind can see phenomena as itself - without labeling it or defining it. In this fluid state of consciousness, the phenomena can be seen as both true and false. . . of partial truths and partial falsities. There is also a mindsapce in which that all dissolves and there is an absence of true / false - where that interpretive lens doesn't exist. 

Another framing of this would be the mind's desire to determine what is "real" and what is "imagined". Yet going prior, the real vs imagined distinction doesn't exist. There is simply what appears as "ISness". 

At the human level, sense-making of what is "True / Real" vs "False / Imagined" has practical value since it is grounding and practical to the survival of the human mind-body. Yet it is also rigid / contracted and is a block to fluid / expansive states of consciousness.

[SeaMonster]

3 hours ago, emil1234 said:

Would really like some feedback and interpretations, so thanks in advance and lots of love

What the trip probably meant is that your CONCEPTS of God and Consciousness are imprisoning you.

In other words, the message is for you to stop MINDFUCKING yourself.

[Grateful Dead]

Fear of eternal hell is a common obstacle on this path. By going deeper, I was able to see through the fears of the ego and move beyond concepts or labels. Infinity is indefinable, it can't be a single thing like an eternal prison, that's what it is, but then it's also the eternal heaven and everything else. This is what you need to realize. I recommend facing your fears step by step with contemplation and psychedelics.

[Soul Flight]

I have the same trips. It is one side of the coin. The other side of the coin is euphoric blissful oceanic boundlessness and eternal love. It depends on your perspective and god’s perspective. Is he blissed out or is he bored of life and clawing at the walls? Are you in heaven or are you in purgatory or hell or are they all one in the same and each needs it’s opposite in order to exist? You cannot have white without black.

I integrate this trip as I am alone and I am yearning to connect with an equal intellect to mine. I yearn for a friend or for love. I am projecting onto god. God is alone. He would love to meet another god. So he created all of us to enjoy friendship and love but god keeps waking up and realizing it is all an illusion and a dream. It is tragic beauty. A bittersweet situation.

It is silly for us to presume god is “alone” or “in prison” or “insane” or “bored.” It is arrogant for us to apply our limited perspective onto god.

Hang in there. Integration is the fun part so have years of patience.

Edited September 19, 2023 by Soul Flight