LSD-Rumi

Understanding OCD: how OCD really works

14 posts in this topic

I had a very personal and difficult experience with this particular mental illness and it was very severe type of OCD. The one I was dealing with is called Pure O OCD which means pure obsessions or obssesive thoughts only. The beginning of the disease is very subtle, you don't notice it until it had already taken over your life.

For me it all began when I started doing philosophy and personal development. I loved philosophy so much in that period, my whole life was revolving about doing philosophy. I used to enjoy it so much and get so much insights that was changing my whole life to the better, well until the OCD has taken over. My own mind started acting strange and very stupid. It started gaslighting me everytime I adopt a new belief. It started bullying me basically but you trust it so much because it has the same voice as your own mind. You see the OCD has some kind of authority over you, because it is inside your own mind. The OCD is very anal and stupid. If you say this is red, it will say "are you fking mad, this is green". Another very good example is a thought I had once. I started thinking why we say how are you to others when we are not really concerned about them. I knew this idea was stupid but it was persistent and it bothered me for at least a day. The answer of course is that how are u is a kind of greeting. Anyways, this is just one idea, the OCD has thousands of them. It has no specific topic to debate you about. It literally can bother you about anything.

I really struggled for years just to understand the things I said here. Your brain becomes so weird and dysfunction that you cannot even know how it was before it became like this.

The treatment of OCD ia mainly medical at first then you learn to basically ignore it and to rob it from its mental authority over you.

Edited by LSD-Rumi

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Hi there! Thanks for sharing your experience. I see OCD is spreading over the most important things to me starting from my son, sanity, mind and well, ultimately my ego. It just feeds on any bit of attention we assign to the weird or scary thoughts revolving around the most important things. OCD particularly loves fear, anxiety and pity. It rages in the morning so intensively that I get lost in this vicious cycle of obsessions (bad or weird thoughts) to compulsions (reading more about OCD, talking to others about OCD, scanning your mental space, trying to control the content of the thoughts or substituting a bad thought for a good one). It is just exhausting… literally hell. 

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OCD is scary, in that it’s a bully that you cannot physically see. 


"Wisdom is not in knowing all the answers, but in seeking the right questions." -Gemini AI

 

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@Lana Faye This OCD voice in your head, that keeps harassing you, is a part of yourself you've been suppressing for so long, that it has started to resort to more and more radical means of making itself known to you. When you don't listen to your heart, your mind will scream at you very loudly. That is OCD. These thoughts are so disturbing exactly because you wouldn't listen to them otherwise! Important isn't the thought itself, so if it's a thought about harming someone, that doesn't mean that you've been suppressing that urge, or that it's about them specifically, important is how the thought FEELS. So if the thought doesn't feel good, feel into that. That is what the thought intends to point you towards, for whatever reason. It's just your inner child using it's childlike imagination to get your attention, because you've been ignoring it for so long that you wouldn't listen to it other wise.

Like imagine you've got a small child and they're trying to get your attention and you just keep ignoring them. What will happen? Well eventually they're probably going to throw a tantrum and start crying or whatever. If you only ever pay attention to them when they're throwing a tantrum, then that will instill a very unhealthy habit in them. That's also how OCD formed for me, interestingly enough, I don't know if you can resonate to that. My mother didn't know how to deal with my emotions and tried to suppress them and I adopted that coping mechanism. Through doing shadow work I've been able to recognize these feelings and overcame my OCD (mostly) by choosing to pay attention to my inner child before it has to throw a tantrum. I still get weird thoughts from time to time, but I can now recognize that they're actually trying to tell me something important, so I don't judge them anymore.

Edited by DefinitelyNotARobot

beep boop

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@DefinitelyNotARobot OCD is mostly genetic. Some of us are susceptibile genetically to developing OCD, just like schizophrenia, it is just a matter of time before we develop it, a certain or multiple stressors will be the cause.

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@LSD-Rumi Maybe for some. I've managed to work through it, so I can only speak from my perspective. But there is always a chance that it isn't genetic and that you could work through it, so be careful not to turn this into a self-fulfilling prophecy. It's easy to use genetics as an excuse when it isn't really an issue. Not saying that it can't be an issue, but people can easily put themselves into the wrong category.

Edited by DefinitelyNotARobot

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@DefinitelyNotARobot mine is gone, forever.  I spent years doing cbt and years trying to find the right medication or substance. Now I am free from it, forever. Once it is gone, it is gone.

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I have pure O and this channel has helped me out a lot. Chrissie’s take on OCD is very refreshing, to say the least ^_^

 

https://youtube.com/@ChrissieHodgesPureOCDAdvocate


"It is from my open heart that I will mirror you, and reflect back to you all that you are:

As a being of love, of energy, 

of passion, and truth."

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@toasty7718 kudos for opening up about having OCD. We are truly warriors for learning to overcome its power.

I’m pretty sure I’ve experienced almost every subtype at this point. It fucking sucks.


"Wisdom is not in knowing all the answers, but in seeking the right questions." -Gemini AI

 

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@Yimpa I know, right? Just know you’re not alone in your struggles and there are other people who share your experience of what you’re going through ^_^


"It is from my open heart that I will mirror you, and reflect back to you all that you are:

As a being of love, of energy, 

of passion, and truth."

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36 minutes ago, toasty7718 said:

@Yimpa I know, right? Just know you’re not alone in your struggles and there are other people who share your experience of what you’re going through ^_^

Thank you. Very much appreciated. I struggled with it alone for so long, but now knowing that I’m not alone with this brings so much warmth to my heart.


"Wisdom is not in knowing all the answers, but in seeking the right questions." -Gemini AI

 

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@Yimpa absolutely, you’re not alone. 


"It is from my open heart that I will mirror you, and reflect back to you all that you are:

As a being of love, of energy, 

of passion, and truth."

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I also think I suffer from Pure O, basically all my life if I think back. Here or some examples I used to have:

- I had one thought that whenever somebody said something, I had to rhyme the last word of what the person said in my head. It was freaking me out. This one is gone.
- I had one thought that I couldn't stop paying attention to blinking my eyes. I couldn't do it subconsciously anymore. It was annoying as hell. It is gone now. The same thing I had with breathing after I did some meditations. This one is also gone now.

I had many more things like that and only one is sticking to me to this day and my goal is to conquer this one for good now:
- I always have to think in and about accents (dialects). It is exhausting, you can probably imagine. 

How do I deal with it:
I just do all my things no matter what. I go to work, I go out, I go running, I go the gym, I go on dates, I meet friends. Basically I don't lock my self indoors and let the OCD dictating my life. I do whatever I have to and live my life, even though the OCD is there and it is annoying as hell and nothing seems to help. I basically just accepted it and let it there and I won't let it stop doing me from ANYTHING!

 

I think it is OCD, right? Let me know what you guys think.

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