How I Experience My Narcissism: Aware, Not Healed

[The Mystical Man]

Amazing video; very poetic:

Best resource on narcissism.

I'm not officially diagnosed, but I might have NPD -- it certainly would explain a lot.

Edited March 2, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[The Mystical Man]

Good documentary:

The nine characteristics of NPD:

1. Grandiosity
2. Arrogant & Domineering 
3. Preoccupation with success + power
4. Lack of empathy 
5. Belief of being unique
6. Requiring excessive admiration
7. Sense of entitlement
8. Exploitative 
9. Envious of others

Edited March 1, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[The Mystical Man]

Narcissistic Personality Disorder resource: https://bit.ly/2m9Lqux

[Nilsi]

What if you're actually great, assertive, successful and unique? How are you supposed to feel then? - never understood that part about "narcissism."

[The Mystical Man]

4 minutes ago, Nilsi said:

What if you're actually great, assertive, successful and unique?

There's nothing wrong with being great, if you actually are great. People with NPD, however, are delusional and their behavior causes others suffering.

[Nilsi]

10 minutes ago, The Mystical Man said:

There's nothing wrong with being great, if you actually are great. People with NPD, however, are delusional and their behavior causes others suffering.

I just feel like the term gets thrown around villy nilly.

How many times have people called Leo a narcissist, or Ken Wilber, or Andrew Tate - only because they are expressing an unusual degree of confidence and charisma (which is to be expected of unusually developed people).

The herd loves to demonize those that rise above it, that's as certain as death and taxes.

Edited March 1, 2023 by Nilsi

[The Mystical Man]

10 hours ago, Nilsi said:

I just feel like the term gets thrown around villy nilly.

The term "narcissist" is overused and misunderstood. But there are actual pathological narcissists. 

The Wikipedia article on NPD is illuminating: Narcissistic personality disorder - Wikipedia

DSM-5 describes NPD as possessing at least five of the following nine criteria:

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance
2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. Believing that they are "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requiring excessive admiration
5. A sense of entitlement (unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations)
6. Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends)
7. Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)
8. Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them
9. Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

"True symptoms of NPD are pervasive, apparent in varied social situations, and are rigidly consistent over time. Severe symptoms of NPD can significantly impair the person's mental capabilities to develop meaningful human relationships, such as friendship, kinship, and marriage. Generally, the symptoms of NPD also impair the person's psychological abilities to function socially, either at work or at school, or within important societal settings. The DSM-5 indicates that, in order to qualify as symptomatic of NPD, the person's manifested personality traits must substantially differ from social norms."

Quote

How many times have people called Leo a narcissist, or Ken Wilber, or Andrew Tate - only because they are expressing an unusual degree of confidence and charisma (which is to be expected of unusually developed people).

"Many highly successful individuals display personality traits that might be considered narcissistic. Only when these traits are inflexible, maladaptive, and persisting, and cause significant functional impairment or subjective distress, do they constitute narcissistic personality disorder."

"Narcissistic personality disorder differs from self-confidence which is associated with a strong sense of self."

Edited March 2, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[flowboy]

What I learnt from Patrick Teahan is that the one trait that separates NPD from all the rest is that they cannot be shamed.

Their shame system is so completely blocked that they are not capable of entertaining the thought that they may have done something wrong.

 

[The Mystical Man]

37 minutes ago, flowboy said:

What I learnt from Patrick Teahan is that the one trait that separates NPD from all the rest is that they cannot be shamed.

Their shame system is so completely blocked that they are not capable of entertaining the thought that they may have done something wrong.

That's psychopathy -- which is different from NPD.

People with NPD do feel shame:

"Because they are sensitive to perceived criticism or defeat, people with NPD are prone to feelings of shame, humiliation, and worthlessness over minor incidents of daily life and imagined, personal slights, and usually mask such feelings from people, by feigning humility, responding with outbursts of rage and defiance, or seeking revenge."

"Fragile/Covert: this variant is defined by feelings of shame, envy, resentment, and inferiority (which is occasionally 'masked' by arrogance), entitlement, a belief that one is misunderstood or unappreciated, and excessive reactivity to slights or criticism."

"Pathological narcissism is a term for concurrent grandiose and vulnerable narcissism, which is linked to poor self-esteem, lack of empathy, feelings of shame, interpersonal distress, aggression, and significant impairments in personality functioning across both clinical and non-clinical samples."

Narcissist vs. Sociopath vs. Psychopath: What's the Difference? - Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. Laurie Hollman, Ph.D. (lauriehollmanphd.com)

"The main difference between the narcissist and the sociopath or psychopath is that the narcissist may experience or learn to experience some remorse and eventually some empathy for actions that hurt others and his maltreatment is verbal not physically aggressive or violent."

Edited March 2, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[Nilsi]

3 hours ago, The Mystical Man said:

The term "narcissist" is overused and misunderstood. But there are actual pathological narcissists. 

The Wikipedia article on NPD is illuminating: Narcissistic personality disorder - Wikipedia

DSM-5 describes NPD as possessing at least five of the following nine criteria:

1. A grandiose sense of self-importance
2. Preoccupation with fantasies of unlimited success, power, brilliance, beauty, or ideal love
3. Believing that they are "special" and unique and can only be understood by, or should associate with, other special or high-status people (or institutions)
4. Requiring excessive admiration
5. A sense of entitlement (unreasonable expectations of especially favorable treatment or automatic compliance with their expectations)
6. Being interpersonally exploitative (taking advantage of others to achieve their own ends)
7. Lacking empathy (unwilling to recognize or identify with the feelings and needs of others)
8. Often being envious of others or believing that others are envious of them
9. Showing arrogant, haughty behaviors or attitudes

"True symptoms of NPD are pervasive, apparent in varied social situations, and are rigidly consistent over time. Severe symptoms of NPD can significantly impair the person's mental capabilities to develop meaningful human relationships, such as friendship, kinship, and marriage. Generally, the symptoms of NPD also impair the person's psychological abilities to function socially, either at work or at school, or within important societal settings. The DSM-5 indicates that, in order to qualify as symptomatic of NPD, the person's manifested personality traits must substantially differ from social norms."

"Many highly successful individuals display personality traits that might be considered narcissistic. Only when these traits are inflexible, maladaptive, and persisting, and cause significant functional impairment or subjective distress, do they constitute narcissistic personality disorder."

"Narcissistic personality disorder differs from self-confidence which is associated with a strong sense of self."

You're just listing jargon. 

Either you're a tyrant or you're a leader - no need for such loaded "scientific" diagnoses as "narcissism."

[The Mystical Man]

1 hour ago, Nilsi said:

You're just listing jargon. 

It's not jargon, because anyone can understand it -- it's what characterizes NPD.

1 hour ago, Nilsi said:

Either you're a tyrant or you're a leader - no need for such loaded "scientific" diagnoses as "narcissism."

Of course there's a need for diagnosing narcissists. How else are you going to offer treatment?

But, yes, it is a loaded term -- which is why it's important to gain a better understanding of narcissism.

Edited March 2, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[The Mystical Man]

Maybe this explains why Gura wants to be an Alien God.

Edited March 3, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[The Mystical Man]

After watching this video, I feel like I should seek therapy.

Edited March 4, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[Ulax]

@The Mystical Man Nice.

I think Vaknin is, relatively speaking, a pretty conscious guy. And its pretty remarkable to me what he's managed to do given the NPD psychic structure he was socialised into. His depth psychotherapy perspectives have a lot of merit, in my opinion.

That said, I think he has limiting beliefs about how much the NPD psyche can be altered. I think he neglects the further positive impact therapies like Gestalt, and Internal Family systems therapy could do. Particularly IFS. Also, from what I've seen, he doesn't account for the potential growth through spirituality.

Also, in the time I watched him I did notice him go off on some seemingly unhinged rants. It appeared to me he was relatively unconscious of his motives during those episodes.

Edited March 3, 2023 by Ulax
Grammar

[The Mystical Man]

1 hour ago, Ulax said:

I think he has limiting beliefs about how much the NPD psyche can be altered.

He acknowledges the possibility of behavior modification, but he doesn't think NPD is curable. Personality disorders are difficult to treat.

[puporing]

NPD is similar to ego manifestation in this realm when it swings to its heights, which is why we all have some degrees of this until our consciousness upgrades. This process is happening "slowly" but will surely happen as more of Source gets known and come into this realm. It's good that you are aware of potential healing work you need, healing this does require self-love.

Edited March 4, 2023 by puporing

[The Mystical Man]

12 hours ago, puporing said:

healing this does require self-love

If someone has narcissistic tendencies, significant improvements are possible, but someone with full-blown NPD will always have a narcissistic personality.

“There is no way to cure or heal or glue together this fragmented, shrapnelled personality… A personality disorder is a disorder of your entirety. It’s a disorder of all of you. It permeates every single cell of your being, of your psychology, of your psycho-dynamic. There is no way to change all of you. There are ways to change some behaviors and some traits, but never all of you." - Vaknin (Can Narcissists Ever Change? A Detailed, Nuanced Answer – Psychopaths In Life)

Edited March 4, 2023 by The Mystical Man

[The Mystical Man]

Interesting interview:

 

[puporing]

9 hours ago, The Mystical Man said:

If someone has narcissistic tendencies, significant improvements are possible, but someone with full-blown NPD will always have a narcissistic personality.

“There is no way to cure or heal or glue together this fragmented, shrapnelled personality… A personality disorder is a disorder of your entirety. It’s a disorder of all of you. It permeates every single cell of your being, of your psychology, of your psycho-dynamic. There is no way to change all of you. There are ways to change some behaviors and some traits, but never all of you." - Vaknin (Can Narcissists Ever Change? A Detailed, Nuanced Answer – Psychopaths In Life)

It's not a "lost cause", but the mind has to be willing to change (enough to accept healing) first. That is the critical decision that begins to unravel everything.

Edited March 4, 2023 by puporing

[The Mystical Man]

5 hours ago, puporing said:

It's not a "lost cause", but the mind has to be willing to change (enough to accept healing) first. That is the critical decision that begins to unravel everything.

Frankly, I just want to be diagnosed -- then I'd know what's wrong with me. Unfortunately, therapy is too expensive.