Self Love

[Yimpa]

On 2/27/2023 at 2:35 PM, Thought Art said:

Healthy shame is what stops you from shitting on the Walmart floor. 

I agree. I got into a car accident a couple nights ago (first time). Even though it was determined that I was not at fault, I still felt that I could have done a better job to prevent something like that from happening. I am now discovering new ways on how to become a better driver, not because someone’s telling me to, but because I choose to. 

[Thought Art]

@Yimpa This is the part of your functioning I would call a healthy shame. I don't know the reality of your accident. 

Healthy shame is part of human social cohesion. It helps when we make mistakes, are in accidents, fights etc. 

Toxic shame is something else entirely which is the point I am making with this opening thread. All the toxic shame we got from our conditioning should be left behind.

But, we should begin to contemplate and bring awareness to our shame and how it works in our lives. 

For those of us who are deep in toxic shame we might not be ready to hear about the fact that healthy shame exists. This is fine.

You should know that it DOES exist. That, all your emotions exists for good reason. However, they can become toxic if misused. 

We live in a sick society. So, do not look to others for a deep understanding of shame.

Healing The Shame that Binds You

I have read many books on forgiveness, shame, trauma. I am only just beginning my study and my work. This is a deep and profound area of study for me.

I see so much addiction, pain, suffering in myself and in those around me. This is a very big problem in our society. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

A major point to be made in all this work is:

1. Long Term thinking

2. Direct Experience

3. Read and study deeply

4. If you can afford it invest in professional help

5. Make High Quality Distinctions

6. Use each day to refine yourself to higher and higher levels of personal mastery

7. Take full responsibility for your life: Your self love, your self care, your happiness

8. Fill yourself with love. The question is not "OH why oh why does reality not give me the love I crave" or "How can I get more love from society" But, "How can I love reality?" "How can I be a leader in love?" 

"How can I love through all the guilt, the shame, the blaming, the skapegoating, the lying the bullshit. How can I love all of it? and be a light to humanity?"

We live in a sea of toxic emotions, addictions, shame, trauma, bullshit, conspiracy theories and nonesense.

Bunker down. Grow deep roots.

I still don't know very much and I make errors all the time. I am very young and stupid. But I am committed to life long learning and we all should be very humble.  

 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

I can't see it clearly. How many humans are there? What are accurate statistics on this kind of thing? How common is toxic shame? Guilt? Negative emotions? Addiction? Trauma?

This is a deep, holistic, mind body and systems problem that involves a great deal all at once. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

I had this image of being deeply rooted in:

1. Wisdom
2. Integrity 
3. Long Term Thinking 
4. Emotional Mastery
5. Healthy Boundaries 
6. Sober Living 
7. The high level use of psychedelic substances for awakening, healing and deep appreciation of reality and consciousness 
8. Feeling perfectly healthy in my body 
9. Feeling happy for no reason
10. Letting Go of the toxic drive for dumb stuff that is all around us
11. Becoming extremely of value in society 

Despite the issues around me. I grow deep roots. Soon, in years time I flourish. 
 

There are many challenges I face. Yet, I persist and through these challenges I will become a man. 
 

I am already 27… in many ways my development is out of sorts. However, I know I can pull this thing together and build a powerful life. 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

I am very un refined in my way of showing up in life. However, I love that.

Edited March 4, 2023 by Thought Art

[Something Funny]

@Thought Art yeah, but how?

[Thought Art]

@Something Funny How what?

[Something Funny]

@Thought Art How to start really loving yourself

 

 

[Thought Art]

@Something Funny

 

Read: The God Memorandum by Og Mandino

 

Edited March 4, 2023 by Thought Art

[Thought Art]

"Keep you waiting, hour after hour
Every night, in your lonely tower
Looking down, at all of the wreckage
When we met, you never expected
And you say, maybe we don't deserve love" - Arcadefire - We Don't Deserve Love

You ARE LOVE

Edited March 4, 2023 by Thought Art

[Something Funny]

@Thought Art thank you 

[Breakingthewall]

Thinking about it,  there is a useful shame. when you are ashamed of betray yourself, you are ashamed before yourself, not before others. for falling into some addiction, for being coward, for lying... this makes you tend to stop being it

Edited March 4, 2023 by Breakingthewall

[Thought Art]

@Breakingthewall Healthy shame is important to feel when we self reflect and can at a role in personal development, maturing, and growing. 
 

However, toxic shame will arrest our development and ruin our lives.