Creating trust with girls in PUA situations

[StarStruck]

15 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

@StarStruck That's your big mistake right there. DO NOT HIDE YOUR RAW DESIRE FOR THE GIRL FROM THE GIRL.

It should be obvious from your approach that you desire her. But you can express thia desire in a needy or non-needy way.

Try opening with the line: "I desire you." And then just stand there looking smug and see how she reacts.

Girls LOVE to be desired by high value guys!

Also, lower your standards from 9's and 10's to 6's. You need EXPERIENCE! Go fuck a 200 pound girl just for the experience! I don't care if you don't enjoy it.

Yea I'm thinking about punching below my weight but I just don't get excited by ugly or fat chicks. Porn has made me too picky. I have gotten with ok looking girls but I think I'm aiming for the 9's and 10's because I want to feel worthy of the best.

Quote

Try opening with the line: "I desire you."

I will try that next week.

2 hours ago, Tanz said:

@StarStruck Very simple don't deny your intentions. Just tell her I just think you are very pretty, "so I forced myself to talk to you", I'm sorry to make you feel put off but at least you can start/end your day with someone noticed your beauty.  

Spend your day walking to random women and men and tell them something you like about them in a neutral way with no interest to get anything from them, you'd be surprised by how well people receive you.  

I will try that next week.

3 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@StarStruck Thats an amazing paradox, how can you be in a frame when you are mesmerized by her beauty,she owns you in that moment you are done from that point on,depending on her to have mercy on you...

So I should hide it if I fall for her? Girls are so weird. The moment they know they can get you they don't want you. I discovered a lot of girls like ego games more than the actual sex.

[Ulax]

14 minutes ago, StarStruck said:

So I should hide it if I fall for her? Girls are so weird. The moment they know they can get you they don't want you. I discovered a lot of girls like ego games more than the actual sex.

@StarStruck It could be you're not actually falling for her but experiencing limerence. Its a codependence behaviour.

[NoSelfSelf]

@StarStruck There is nothing weird with them they act like they are designed i give up help yourself...

[flowboy]

On 24/02/2023 at 10:52 AM, StarStruck said:

How would you have dealt with her saying: "I don't know if you are a good guy or bad guy?".. She said this in a flirting way

"I always lick them till they cum after the disappointing 2.5 minutes of sex, that's how sweet I am. If that's what you're getting at"

[flowboy]

Needing is different from wanting.

If you are experiencing negative emotions and slapping yourself around when she says no, then you "need" the yes.

That's a problem.

It's better to not think ahead at all, say what comes to mind and be willing to drop it at any moment.

[Emerald]

On 2/23/2023 at 4:29 PM, StarStruck said:

So I encountered this girl outside of the super market. We vibes really well because we study the same science. Suddenly she says: “is this your pickup routine?” I couldn’t deny so I said “yes, did it work?”. She says no because “you have to put more effort in, I don’t know you enough”. This was her first shit test and I fucked up majorly. I basically couldn’t produce any game. And I forced the situation by asking about her school and stuff. Afterward I said I needed to go and if she wanted to grab a coffee and she said no. I feel like I messed up because her non verbals gave away she liked me but I couldn’t build to comfort. She literally told me at one point I don’t know if you are a human or an animal in a joking way to tell me there is a lack of trust from her side. How would you have dealt with this situation? 

I would totally say something direct/funny like this to a guy who was doing pick up on me without being interested in him.

It probably is just because women who know about pick-up know that it’s a numbers game and that you probably are just getting your quota in.

Smart women will probably avoid going out with day-gamers on principle. It’s a bit of a red flag when you can tell that a guy is involved in pick up and he approaches you in a grocery store.

[StarStruck]

2 hours ago, Emerald said:

I would totally say something direct/funny like this to a guy who was doing pick up on me without being interested in him.

It probably is just because women who know about pick-up know that it’s a numbers game and that you probably are just getting your quota in.

Smart women will probably avoid going out with day-gamers on principle. It’s a bit of a red flag when you can tell that a guy is involved in pick up and he approaches you in a grocery store.

Would also look at him lovey dovey?

[Emerald]

7 hours ago, StarStruck said:

Would also look at him lovey dovey?

I wouldn’t do that. I’d still be nice if I’ve decided to talk to him… but I’d be more sardonic and cheeky with some slight eye rolling.

That is, if I felt he was a relatively safe guy.

But she might have given you the lovey dovey look until she confirmed that you are a pick-up guy.

From a woman’s perspective, it’s a bit of a red flag if a guy is into day game pick-up as a regular practice. It takes the fun out of it because you know the guy is doing this like 20x per day.

It’s a bit like getting a letter in the mail with a handwritten address, and you’re like “Ooh! Someone wrote ME a letter.” And then you open it and realize that it’s junk mail advertisement.

You were intrigued before. But then it takes the personal element out of it because you realize that you’re just part of a numbers game.

[Lila9]

48 minutes ago, Emerald said:

From a woman’s perspective, it’s a bit of a red flag if a guy is into day game pick-up as a regular practice. It takes the fun out of it because you know the guy is doing this like 20x per day.

It’s a bit like getting a letter in the mail with a handwritten address, and you’re like “Ooh! Someone wrote ME a letter.” And then you open it and realize that it’s junk mail advertisement.

You were intrigued before. But then it takes the personal element out of it because you realize that you’re just part of a numbers game.

Good analogy! That's exactly how I feel about it.  

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald What else would you be than a number from the start when that person dont know you? Based on what should you be treated differently im geniuenly curious,why are you special?

[Emerald]

20 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Emerald What else would you be than a number from the start when that person dont know you? Based on what should you be treated differently im geniuenly curious,why are you special?

If a guy randomly spots a girl he’s interested in at a relatively social event and sparks up a regular conversation, it’s one thing.

But if he has a practice of doing pick up all the time, everywhere he goes, then it suggests totally different things about where he is in his mindset and his life. And that’s a bit of a red flag.

But I’m not saying I should be special in the pick up guy’s eyes. That’s to look at things through a pick up frame.

Of course a pick up guy is playing a numbers game and won’t view any particular target as special… in the same way that a perfume salesperson at the mall won’t be viewing any particular target as special. 

It’s just the nature of marketing.

But my point is that I don’t enjoy being marketed to. It’s spammy, low quality, low investment attention.

So, if I’m not at least somewhat compelling to him as a particular woman, it’s boring to me.

And it’s also a much more dangerous way to meet men because you haven’t witnessed him in different social contexts over time. And even more dangerous than the average man with PUAs because many of them have been indoctrinated into misogynistic viewpoints by various influencers.

The best way to meet men is to develop a robust and broad social circle of about 150 like-minded guys and girls who are at various levels of friendship and acquaintanceship. And you do this through congregation in places of interest like art walks, book clubs, yoga class, etc.

And this gives you the opportunity to get to know who a guy is and to develop feelings for him organically.

And as long as a woman has this, I don’t see why a woman would ever go for some pick up guy.

[Emerald]

52 minutes ago, Lila9 said:

Good analogy! That's exactly how I feel about it.  

Yeah, it’s pretty annoying in day-game situations.

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald  What do you think his mindset is if he practice it all the time?

Would you consider that high quality man wont be in some big social-circle surrounded by many people but a lone wolf actually?

 

[Emerald]

10 minutes ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Emerald  What do you think his mindset is if he practice it all the time?

Would you consider that high quality man wont be in some big social-circle surrounded by many people but a lone wolf actually?

 

I am a relatively introverted person who prefers my partners to be relatively introverted as well.

But if a man is a total lone wolf then this is a bit of a red flag as well. I usually think of lone wolf guys as lacking in social acuity or having issues with avoidance.

So, I don’t have any romanticization of the lone wolf. It’s not the type of guy I want in my life because he doesn’t seem like he’s got it together because he doesn’t have a social support system and he’s not community oriented.

But in terms of mindset, typically guys who are into pick up are either nerdy guys who have very little experience with women who are trying to get experience with women.

OR

they are avoidant players who are always trying to add to their body count.

And I’m not interested in men from either of those groups because I prefer men with an equivalent level of relationship experience to my own. And I’m definitely not keen on being a part of some random guy’s rotation.

Neither of those are interesting to me. 

Edited February 28, 2023 by Emerald

[NoSelfSelf]

@Emerald Thanks for the indepth answers.

[Emerald]

11 hours ago, NoSelfSelf said:

@Emerald Thanks for the indepth answers.

You’re welcome ?

[StarStruck]

@Emerald

I don't think girls are stupid. Most of the girls know that the pickup guy does it 10x per week. It is just that the pickup guy has so much value that she is willing to break social rules and make an exception for him and date a stranger.

Don't tell me if a guy approached you and he is the ideal man in every aspect that you would, that you wouldn't break rules for him.

Most girls don't date down but date up, so if they have to choose between a guy who can get a lot of girls versus a guy who can't get any, they will mostly choose the first guy.

Pickup has a lot of downsides but it is kind of a highway to get good with girls. Social game in my opinion has a lot of downsides especially if you are unpolished like I'm. One is stuck in the social matrix of the social group and if you fuck up every girl knows it because girls like to talk.

While back I changed my PUA mindset from getting to girl to doing pick up for myself to develop myself.  It has been received very well.

 

 

[Emerald]

6 hours ago, StarStruck said:

@Emerald

I don't think girls are stupid. Most of the girls know that the pickup guy does it 10x per week. It is just that the pickup guy has so much value that she is willing to break social rules and make an exception for him and date a stranger.

Don't tell me if a guy approached you and he is the ideal man in every aspect that you would, that you wouldn't break rules for him.

Most girls don't date down but date up, so if they have to choose between a guy who can get a lot of girls versus a guy who can't get any, they will mostly choose the first guy.

Pickup has a lot of downsides but it is kind of a highway to get good with girls. Social game in my opinion has a lot of downsides especially if you are unpolished like I'm. One is stuck in the social matrix of the social group and if you fuck up every girl knows it because girls like to talk.

While back I changed my PUA mindset from getting to girl to doing pick up for myself to develop myself.  It has been received very well.

I’m not saying the woman isn’t aware that the guy does it all the time. She definitely knows it’s spam attention. And this is why most women will give an immediate no to pick up guys.

Pick up guys are not usually high value guys. They usually have some deficits in character or experience… and most women know this.

And no. I personally tend to develop attractions to men only over time.

It doesn’t matter what accoutrements the stranger has. I don’t know his character well enough to develop strong enough feelings to be interested in him.

And I have very little patience for seemingly charming guys. It’s usually a thin facade.

Also, I do tend to choose partners who haven’t had that many previous partners. I don’t do it on purpose. But all my partners have had either a single digit “body count” or low double digits like 11 or 12.

My current partner has only had a handful of sexual partners. And I much prefer that to some guy with a 3 digit body count. But only because of what the 3 digit body count suggests about him and how he views sex.

But I do understand that many men use pick up to get experience with women. And it’s useful in that sense.

Just don’t be under the illusion that women generally find it attractive.

They generally don’t. This is why the conversation rate is quite low outside of the context of bars and clubs. And it’s why Leo said you have to do like 1000 approaches before getting one yes.

Edited March 1, 2023 by Emerald