Stuck In Life Purpose Course, Again

[Wilm]

I've bought the ULP last year and I was really determined to find my LP. Leo starts the course with a quote that only 5% will succeed, 95% doesn't complete it fully. So I was really determined to be in that 5%. Basically followed every exercise to the letter, took extensive notes, etc. Then came the real Life Purpose exercises, where you really gave to come up with answers to questions where your passions lie, what you would do if money is no issue, etc (try not to spoil the content of the ULP here). Leo states that "I don't know" is not an option, keep thinking about it. That kept me stuck at these questions for a very long time, couldn't come up with the answers.

In the meanwhile, we were moving to a new house, experiences some really sad family matters. That lead to quitting the ULP for a while.

I've started the ULP again by the end of 2016, this time even more determined to finish the course and find my ULP. But unfortunately, I'm stuck again at the same point. I just can't come up with answers that really resonate with me.

I'm quite happy in life, got "all things" going on pretty well, nice house, nice family, happy with my job, spending a lot of time running and cycling, working on personal development, following a ZEN course. But without a real purpose, just following along like most other people, perhaps a bit more conscious than most people. I've found my top values and strengths, they're OK, but I'm not really enthusiastic about the outcome. There isn't much in life that really, really excites me, I get bored pretty easily with stuff.

Sometimes I think and feel that I'm just not wired for this stuff, I've never been very passionate whole my life, 35 years old now. I'm wondering if anyone felt the same and has come out of this "situation" and if now living a passionate life with a purpose? And for those who have taken the ULP, what should I do, try to come up with the answers or move along on the course, try to get the best out of it?

 

 

[heisenburger]

I had the same problem. 

The reason is (at least for me) i was stuck was.

 

1: I realised once you discover your life purpose you have to actually follow through.

2: I was scared of discovering my purpose because it came tied to images of what I must face on my way to it.

 

3: In general resistance to finding my purpose.

 

the good news is you can completely solve this. You need to find the reason and let go of the emotion. Don't worry about letting go of the problem let go of the emotion, the problem eill

solve itself.

 

to let go of the emotion you have a couple of options.

1: the Sedona method.

2: the work by Byron Katie.

 

bth have books for about ten bucks on them that can completely change your life:

Edited February 28, 2017 by heisenburger

[Nahm]

@Wilm perhaps you are not noticing how much purpose you are already fulfilled by?

[Wilm]

@heisenburger Thanks for your reply. What you're saying, also resonates with the book I'm currently reading, The Big Leap. About letting go of your Upper Limit Problem. I'm not familiar with the Sedona Method or Byron Katie. I will definitely check it out.

I find it hard to really apply the stuff from books or Leo's video's or courses. It's much easier to jump from the next book to the next, without really implementing the ideas in your life. Definitely, a pitfall for me.

Could you tell me a little bit more of the process you went through?

@Nahm Perhaps so, but is doesn't really feel like it. Not the kind of Life Purpose  Leo's talking about. Nothing that I really master (nothing near 10,000 of deliberate practice in something for example) or nothing in particular that really excites me, that I want to go out of bed in the morning really bad. Although I like to go for a run early in the morning, but that's not something to create your LP around.

 

[heisenburger]

@Wilm the not implementing thing worked for me by simply noticing it firstly. Since you're already noticing it, it will probably autocorrect over time. Even if you just read self help books and still never applied anything directly the mindset shifts over one would still be life changing so that it was beneficial. But your changes can be huge if you commit to sapping all the info you can and actually applying it.

Although I'm still not 100% applying everything the majority of products I get amazing results from. For me solving the issue of nlt applying came down to finding whatever issue I cared most about. Eg I used to read think and grow rich and never got around to applying the ideas because I was in high school and a bigger issue was my nervousness around girls. So I used books on emotions. The point being I read whatever was most relevant to me at the time, which made it easy to apply because j wanted the result more. Whereas with think and grow rich money wasn't a high priority at that point in my life.

Also the Sedona method has great techniques on how to stop procrastination.

 

so

1: Notice that you're doing it (which you already are!) as long as you keep noticing that you're nt applying eventually something will crack, every time you find yourself not applying results have the intention of fixing this.

2: Try applying stuff that's most relevant to your life right now. That you're most excited about. When you have information staring you in the face on how to solve your current greatest problem in your life it's so easy to apply it!

Edited February 28, 2017 by heisenburger

[Alicja_]

@Wilm   I wonder, maybe making a  step out of your comfort zone and trying new experience could help. Something related to your top values and strengths which you haven't tried before? Perhaps, you can't come with the answers cos you simply haven't discovered the thing yet? 

[Wilm]

@Alicja_, @Michael569 . Coming out of my comfort zone, dream some more. That's certainly something that I'm lacking.

For example, creating a LP around running. When I think about that, I only come up with excuses why this won't work. I'm 35 and not that gifted, so a professional career is out of the picture. I've set my goal on running a sub 3 hour marathon this year. That's completely cool, love the training, but that is not a LP.  

Or maybe I could start a training program. I'm not good at working with people, so no option.

Another idea is to create a kind of running app. The market for this is already overcrowded, so I don't see that as an option, let alone a LP.

That about as far as I can stretch my head on a LP around running. I'm not here to ask anyone what me LP could be, but I would appreciate it if you could give me some advice and ideas on creating a LP around running. I like running, like it a lot, but I don't see a LP in it. That goes for a lot of other interests as well.

 

[Wilm]

@Michael569 . Thanks for your suggestions. Although, I think I already know the things you're saying deep down inside.

The last couple of days, I've picked up the course again. Some of the exercises went pretty well, found some new insights. I'm not sure if it's allowed to spoil the content of the ULP here to this degree, so I'll try to keep a bit vague. I'm now at an exercise where I must come up with some of the greatest creative experiences of myself from the past, when I was really excited. That is such a hard question for me, I'm totally not creative. When I think about it, I just do my job without very much passion. I'm not very passionate in life in general. I've been through some heavy family matters the past years, I think I've handled that pretty well, but again when I think about it: without much passion. These events were so significant, that all of the everyday stuff, like my job,  don't excite me anymore. Not that this was the case before these things happened. I'm pretty happy things are going, just that nagging feeling: there's more to life. But I often think, why bother, were going to be dead anyways in 50/75 years from now.

Somehow I need to find my "passion switch". There are moments when I'm really motivated to find my passion, but when I'm working on it and there's hard mental work involved I slack off and go on with my mediocre, but pretty OK life. I think the "problem" is just not big enough for me to really do something about it. 

 

[Loreena]

@Wilm maybe you are already  living a life of purpose !

Edited March 2, 2017 by Loreena

[Wilm]

3 hours ago, Loreena said:

@Wilm maybe you are already  living a life of purpose !

Why do think so? Not a purpose that I know of or am passionate about

Although I'm following through on keeping my habits the last couple of days (months, but a bit on and off). Waking up at 5AM, go out for a run, meditate in morning and evening., cold shower, etc. I hope this will lead to some new insights, I'm really determined to find my LP!

[Loreena]

@Wilm Maybe your Lp can be just living a good life. I kinda find it strange that you already have everything you want, but you are still looking for something. But maybe it's  a matter of time for you, maybe with time you might find out your Lp, have you ever wondered that you could be having a purpose you are already pursuing or working towards but not feeling content or satisfied with.

[Wilm]

@LoreenaMy life is pretty fulfilling most of the time, happy with my relationship, love my kids, enjoy my job (most of the time), like my hobby's. But, like I mentioned before, it feels like something is missing. Especially in my job/career. When I was young, school was not very challenging for me, I've never learned to work hard for something, everything came pretty easy, jobs came on my path, never made a real conscious choice what I wanted to do, just rolled into it somehow.

Due to the sad family matters, it became more clear to me that I can and must take life in my own hands and make the best of it. I don't want to be like my father and die with the life he lived when he died (that was one of things that happened recently).

[Loreena]

@Wilm Maybe you could try exploring a bit. See what you are really passionate about. For some people they take up something for a while and they are deeply passionate about it but  this passion doesn't last very long. they are like a butterfly hopping from one flower to another. It's just their nature because they have varied interests and not something very specific/particular. But that's fine too as long as your life is interesting, fulfilling and wholesome. I suggest you travel a lot, Or wait for the right time for something interesting to come up on its own.

[h inandout]

I think you should probably invest in a squirrel flight suit. 

[Wilm]

26 minutes ago, MissMiki said:

I think you should probably invest in a squirrel flight suit. 

Haha

[Wilm]

@Michael569 I've tried to do the exercises, contemplating your own death and the auditorium one. Especially the auditorium one, I draw a complete blank... What the hell do I have to tell?! I live my life, minding my own business, I don't have much to say.

These exercises always bring me down and I lose the will to continue with this LP thing...

[Alicja_]

@Wilm and when you get some answers, please, be so kind and share them here, as I believe, there are more people in similar situation to yours. Even if it takes you some time. For example, I thought I figured out my LP. And then started having doubts about it, cos whatever I visualized and dreamed in connection to realizing the purpose in the future, it did not really spark that much passion/emotion. So now I've been procrastinating on the part "How to make it real" of the course, cos I'm not sure if the purpose I came up with is the one I should focus on anymore, whether it's something I really want to make real. Similar to you, my life is pretty much comfortable and smooth now. That's why I thought getting out of the comfort zone and seeking new activities/opportunities related to the values and strengths might be a good option. 

By the way, what are your signature strengths and top 3 values? For example, I guess that 50% of my life purpose ingredients is in my top strength/skill. The latter 50% is more related to the ways of realizing this skill, bringing it to life, searching for the right field, which can be discovered in the part you most struggle with. And the one I still have doubts about. 

[Wilm]

@Alicja_ I'll keep you updated in this thread when I find new insights!

That comfortable life is holding us down... For example, when you want to start a business and your "life" is on the line, nothing to fall back on, you'll be much more inclined to making a success of it, than when you're starting something as a side project. The need to find and do something with a LP is not there.

Can you share something of your LP?

My top values are:

Personal growth, health and energy, love of learning, family, consciousness

Strengths:

Curiosity and interest in the world, humor and playfulness, love of learning, judgment/critical thinking and open-mindedness, hope/optimism/future-mindedness, zest/enthusiasm and energy.

I'm OK with my strengths and values, but I'm not 100% sure about them. I've done these exercises a couple times, in different periods, the results came out pretty similar. But, not 100% sure. For example, in daily life I'm quite optimistic and hopeful for the future, I don't worry a lot, pretty happy  But when it comes down to my LP, I seem to loose all hope and enthusiasm for it after another exercise when I draw a complete blank

 

 

 

 

[Alicja_]

@Wilm I believe that you are already to much extent synchronised with your top values. Just wondering, if curiosity and interest in the world is your top strength, then what it is exactly, or more or less, that really sparks your interest/curiosity? Did you discover it in depth?  Have you ever tried coming back with memories to your childhood? Reminiscing on the wonderful times you had? What sparked your curiosity/excitement most? Would there be any theme which could give you even a silly hint? For example, I have one hint about myself, may sound ridiculous. I remember, when I was a kid, the most exciting thing for me was  to induce lucid dreams a lot. In these dreams I fighted bad guys and rescued good guys. Actually, in turns, I was a witch or a ninja with psychic powers. I loved the idea of helping people out in distress, though, only in my dreams. I was a withdrawn, anxious and highly imaginative kid, so experiencing being a ninja was also somehow an exhilarating experience. 

Throughout the course, the main themes I've discovered about myself were oriented toward growth, personal development and wisdom-seeking. My life purpose was about using my top strengths which are critical thinking and open-mindedness to help people understand and overcome whatever mental blockages hinder their growth. Do the right thing to help people out. Combining, perhaps, elements of psychological therapy, coaching, hypnosis, meditation/awareness tools. I really felt like this is the right area to research, to study, to work on. And then, when I tried to imagine the future, implementing these things, the enthusiasm faded away somehow.  That's why I'm not sure if I came up with the "correct" "life purpose" or whether I am influenced by something superficial. Or perhaps I should explore this more thoroughly and jump out of comfort zone.

 

Edited March 2, 2017 by Alicja_

[gj28210]

In my 76 years I've had a life purpose or two but never could figure out how to make them work.  While always 'being responsible' and 'doing the right thing' I have had jobs (about 30 of them) where I thought I was 'doing good for humanity' or doing something interesting - yet was miserable so changed jobs yet again.  I feel like I have always missed the bus and have gotten on wrong buses or have just walked when I could have ridden.

Would Leo's course be of any use to me?

Thanks for reading this.  George   on Facebook   /jorjonzn