Is being territorial a red flag?

[Tyler Robinson]

@Kksd74628 thank you so much Joni.

 

[Ulax]

I don't think there is anything wrong with it in of itself.

I think it would depend upon the place that it is coming from. For example, is it an expression of a love he feels, or is it something he is using because he feels he wants to try and win you over, or something else.

So, I guess that would be something for you to ponder over.

---------------------------------------------------------

Re being territorial, I don't quite understand what you mean by that. I do pick up a sense of aggressiveness to that. However, that could just be in terms of having boundaries. It would, to my mind, be important to try to understand how he goes about boundaries and personal preferences.

I think a useful couple of books for communication, and boundaries are:

'When I say no I feel guilty', and 'Non Violent communication'.

Good luck

[Kksd74628]

@Ulax

1 minute ago, Ulax said:

For example, is it an expression of a love he feels, or is it something he is using because he feels he wants to try and win you over, or something else.

What's fun is that it doesn't even matter which is in the case, because that he cares about her and she is attracted to him is all that is worth millions of diamonds end of the day.

[something_else]

4 hours ago, Tyler Robinson said:

Can you explain why? I want to know what his behavior means specifically!

Because it's equivalent to saying "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" after only a month.

It's almost like he proposed to you after a month. It's just really fucking weird.

[Nilsi]

I mean this is kind of a big commitment, no? You have been with the guy for one month, and he already decides that he wants to see your face for the rest of his life? Either he is a little kookoo, or you must be one hell of a girl.

[Kksd74628]

@something_else

People here don't seem to understand that some people progress faster on the relationships than others. Yeah he is acting weird, because he did that without knowing about the outcome. In the other hand he can believe so much in this relationship that he is all in knowing that love wins sorrow this time. Love is all about feeling connection and some of us can spot it faster than others. We are just heading into times where we use more time to think about which relationship is the best instead of letting our heart decide it for us. In this case it's clear.

[Nilsi]

3 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@something_else

People here don't seem to understand that some people progress faster on the relationships than others. 

Those are usually the people, that also progress faster out of relationships than others.

[Tyler Robinson]

13 minutes ago, something_else said:

Because it's equivalent to saying "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" after only a month.

It's almost like he proposed to you after a month. It's just really fucking weird.

Ahh I see, gotcha!!

 

[Tyler Robinson]

1 minute ago, Nilsi said:

Those are usually the people, that also progress faster out of relationships than others.

Golden line!!!!!!! ? Made a lot of sense. 

 

[Kksd74628]

@Nilsi

Not necessarily. I mean whatever, dump another great loving guy, because you try to rationalize thing which is only about love.

Edited August 12, 2022 by Kksd74628

[Nilsi]

10 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Nilsi

Not necessarily. I mean whatever, dump another great loving guy, because you try to rationalize thing which is only about love.

I'm just trying to be reasonable. Of course I don't know that particular guy, but I don't see how you can be a sane man and want to get a tattoo of some chick you've known for a month.

Edited August 12, 2022 by Nilsi

[Kksd74628]

@Nilsi

It's the same mentality that when the shit hits the fan I am out. In life there are things which are easy and hard. Those harder are the ones that actually are valuable in the long run. If you always try to prepare everything with your mind trying take the easy way out, you'll end up missing lot of things from life and also that way you'll never grow as an individual. I have started thinking if anyone on this forum can actually put effort in anything valuable. Everyone just thinks how to be as safe as possible without taking any action and that way you end up being weak.

Edited August 12, 2022 by Kksd74628

[something_else]

7 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

Those harder are the ones that actually are valuable in the long run

Getting a tattoo of a girl's face after a month is not hard. It's impulsive, and shows almost zero awareness of future.

32 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

Love is all about feeling connection and some of us can spot it faster than others

Yes, but we also live in the real world, where the logistics of a relationship cannot be sorted out in a month. You need a balance of mind and heart to create healthy relationships. Healthy relationships also require time, and build up.

[Nilsi]

8 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Nilsi Everyone just thinks how to be as safe as possible without taking any action and that way you end up being weak.

I'm not going to waste my time by trying to form a relationship with immature, needy, troubled people. I've been there, and it's just a giant pain in the ass, and doesn't really serve either party. That's what therapists are there for. 

[Kksd74628]

@something_else

That building up is not beneficial for the male. That's the point. Of cource females can be in these states where the male expresses love through all possible levels, but at the end of the day female has possibility to bounce. Either you are going for the relationship after couple meetups or not. It's really frustrating to the males nowadays that they try to give everything and they end up crying alone in their home thinking about why they deserve this shit. You either love someone or not. You shouldn't need millions of hours with the other one to see that.

@Nilsi

How it is wasting time. If being for the other one is waste of your time then don't ever go to relationships, because if you really love the other one you wouldn't mind helping him/her. You'd actually want to help him/her as much as you can. Problem is that many people don't know how to sort things out. You have to be patient with each others so the thing could work. As I said previously; relationship is two people growing together, loving each other and helping each other on the way.

[something_else]

5 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

It's really frustrating to the males nowadays that they try to give everything and they end up crying alone in their home thinking about why they deserve this shit.

That isn't love on the man's part. That's desperation and neediness. Proper love takes time to build up for men as well.

[Nilsi]

6 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@something_else

@Nilsi

How it is wasting time. If being for the other one is waste of your time then don't ever go to relationships, because if you really love the other one you wouldn't mind helping him/her. You'd actually want to help him/her as much as you can. Problem is that many people don't know how to sort things out. You have to be patient with each others so the thing could work. As I said previously; relationship is two people growing together, loving each other and helping each other on the way.

If that's what you're looking for in a relationship, fine. I don't want to play father or therapist for a girl.

[Ulax]

1 hour ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Ulax

What's fun is that it doesn't even matter which is in the case, because that he cares about her and she is attracted to him is all that is worth millions of diamonds end of the day.

I get where you're coming from.

However, I do think it matters. If we engage in relationships with people who have not met their needs on their own, then they will often rely on us to meet their needs for them. And, I believe that is generally the root of an unhealthy relationship.

[Kksd74628]

@Nilsi

Men have to always be therapist for the girl and lead things and sort shit out. That's what it is being a man, holy fuck.

@Ulax

Good luck finding a partner who has all needs met ...

@something_else

Of cource you'll be needy if you have gave lot and received less. That's natural to want what you deserve. Bad relationships just fuck people up.

[Nilsi]

2 minutes ago, Kksd74628 said:

@Nilsi

Men have to always be therapist for the girl and lead things and sort shit out. That's what it is being a man, holy fuck.

@Ulax

@something_else

No it's not. That's what, being so bored and uninspired, that you actually believe this is a wise way to spend your time, is.