Working on my triggers

[Preety_India]

Funnily I got myself some lavender talcum powder as a Christmas gift. 

I sprayed it on the walls. 

Just to feel like I'm surrounded by lavender. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm quite young, in my mid twenties. 

Sometimes I feel like it's not good for me to suffer anxiety. 

It can impact my heart. 

I don't know what to do. 

 

I feel tensed and worried. 

 

[Preety_India]

My mom is in her early 50s.

I started having some trouble with anxiety back in 2019.

That's when I returned back to India. 

This is 2021. 

2020 was a tough year for me because of Joseph. 

I hope I will have a new chance at life because I fucked up majorly in that relationship. 

 

[Preety_India]

I'm going to focus on reducing my anxiety as much as possible.. 

I need to get some medical help once this omicron thing is over. 

I want to do some tests. 

A cancer test is also pending. 

[Preety_India]

It's important to not get provoked or triggered. Remain as chill as possible. Do the counter intuitive thing. 

 

[Marcel]

@Preety_India

*Calms you down and cares for you 

[Preety_India]

 

This wound... it's always the same wound. This wound always try to feed itself in one way or another until healed:

• It tries to feed itself with food
• It tries to feed itself with the mind
• It tries to feed itself in business
• It tries to feed itself in porn
• It tries to feed itself in video game
• It tries to feed itself in sex
• It tries to feed itself by fucking women
• It tries to feed itself by desperately seeking men
• It tries to feed itself by watching dumb videos
• It tries to feed itself with success
• It tries to feed itself with video games
• It tries to feed itself by reading this forum, fighting, debating, and competing with others on this forum
• It tries to feed itself by being rigid
• It tries to feed itself with repetitive thoughts patterns
• It tries to feed itself by making meaning
• It tries to feed itself by recluding
• It tries to feed itself by smoking
• It tries to feed itself by drinking
• It tries to feed itself by over partying
• It tries to feed itself with TV shows
• It tries to feed itself with movies
• It tries to feed itself by not caring
• It tries to feed itself by overcaring
• It tries to feed itself by being perfectionistic
• It tries to feed itself by being needy for visibility
• It tries to feed itself by not taking risk
• It tries to feed itself by taking too many risks
• It tries to feed itself by being political
• It tries to feed itself by hiding its mistakes
• It tries to feed itself by hiding its failures
• It tries to feed itself by not recognizing itself
• It tries to feed itself by trying to fake itself
• It tries to feed itself by trying to be perfect
• It tries to feed itself by screaming at others
• It tries to feed itself by debating
• It tries to feed itself by hating itself
• It tries to feed itself...
• It tries to feed itself...
• It tries to feed itself by thinking that it can't resolve itself
• It tries to feed itself by hiding from itself
• It tries to feed itself by avoiding itself
• It tries to feed itself by sickening itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself with itself but if it tries to feed itself by itself it will die by itself
• It tries to feed itself by killing itself
• It tries to feed itself by killing itself
• It tries to feed itself by killing itself
• It tries to feed itself by killing itself
• It tries to feed itself by killing itself
• It tries to feed itself by unbalancing itself
• I tries to feed itself by trying to go too fast
• It tries to feed itself...
• It tries to feed itself...
• It tries to feed itself...
• It tries to feed itself with the body
• It tries to feed itself by sickening the body
• It tries to feed itself by not recognizing itself
• It tries to feed itself by being afraid of itself
• It tries to feed itself by avoiding itself
• It tries to feed itself
• It tries to feed itself but doesn't know how to feed itself anymore
• It tries to feed itself but doesn't know how to feed itself anymore
• It tries to feed itself but is getting sick of feeding itself
• It is sick of being sick, it wants to heal, it wants to heal...

 

What is this wound? Lack of love / distorted love. It is love and it is trying to show up to the surface.

 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Preety_India

[Raphael]

2 hours ago, Preety_India said:

It's important to not get provoked or triggered. Remain as chill as possible. Do the counter intuitive thing.

Or go through the trigger and feel it fully until it doesn't trigger you anymore

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ujtj4R37M40

 

[Preety_India]

@Raphael good 

[Preety_India]

I wrote the journal on narcissistic abusive  personality On November 8, 2020 exactly the time I broke up with Joseph. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I WILL NEVER EVER  BE WITH A NARCISSIST  AGAIN IN MY LIFE. 

I PLEDGE TO NEVER FALL PREY TO A NARCISSIST AGAIN 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year 2022 to Everyone. 

 

Happy Holidays, hope you stay healthy and your family is healthy - and many wishes for a healthy and fortuitous year ahead. 

 

 

[Preety_India]

One way to heal is to build a shield. 

I'll talk about this shield later. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

I like this 

 

[Preety_India]

 

23 hours ago, Preety_India said:

I'm going to label it for what it is. 

Instead of saying friendship and inviting unwanted problems and undesirable interactions and unnecessary manipulative games and disappointment, I'll use this label - 

"Authentic interactions with authentic people" 

This is a better description of how I want my relations with people from now on. 

It neatly fits into my comfort zone. 

-------------------------------

From now on I only want to interact with people who I consider as truly authentic, respectful, resonating with me and my situation, trustworthy, compassionate, matured, cool and understanding. 

 

 

. 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

"Authentic interactions with authentic people" 

I should have done this long ago. 

I would have spared a ton of suffering. 

 

[Preety_India]

The thing is that my focus should always be on things that have practically harmed me. 

No more babysitting illusions. 

 

[Preety_India]

 core areas of focus... CAOF

• Area which is generally the source of my misery and my problems or obstacle to my growth
• Area which needs healing and recovery... Like health 
• Area which needs growth... Like stage orange stuff,money, career. 
• Area which needs continuous improvement - example life skills and interesting things like art 

 

 

 

 

Either you have to do inner work or outer work.. 

 

 

• Areas will need to be worked on
• Elimination 
• Healing like recovery 
• Improvement 
• Fixing 
• Continuous growth 
• Promotion 
• Cultivation 

 

 

Edited December 22, 2021 by Preety_India

[Marcel]

5 hours ago, Preety_India said:

 core areas of focus... CAOF

• Area which is generally the source of my misery and my problems or obstacle to my growth
• Area which needs healing and recovery... Like health 
• Area which needs growth... Like stage orange stuff,money, career. 
• Area which needs continuous improvement - example life skills and interesting things like art 

Either you have to do inner work or outer work.. 

• Areas will need to be worked on
• Elimination 
• Healing like recovery 
• Improvement 
• Fixing 
• Continuous growth 
• Promotion 
• Cultivation 

 

 

Yup. That sounds like my to do list as well 

*Makes sure we both improve effortlessly 

❤️