Integrating Stage Red

[Marcel]

2 hours ago, hyruga said:

It actually does not mention much about Satan. It is actually just Anti Christ but you can also ignore this part. It is just about living for yourself more.

Be more selfish instead of being selfless. 

Hit back at others and beat them down instead of retreat.

Believe in yourself instead of believing in God.

Sounds good.

I´ll look into that one.

Thanks for the suggestion.

[Human Mint]

1 hour ago, Marcel said:

Especially in arguments. It does happen from time to time, but usually only regarding topics that make me feel emotional.

A meditation practice helps being mindful in an argument and not experiencing it as an emotionally draining experience. And also just to not get dragged by people who, like you, start a combat everytime they argue.

[Marcel]

@Human Mint

24 minutes ago, Human Mint said:

A meditation practice helps being mindful in an argument and not experiencing it as an emotionally draining experience. And also just to not get dragged by people who, like you, start a combat everytime they argue.

Easier said then done my friend.

But certainly will work on my meditation practice.

[Human Mint]

That's for sure. But better start from anywhere. Work on that intention. Slowly but surely.

[hyruga]

11 hours ago, Marcel said:

Sounds good.

I´ll look into that one.

Thanks for the suggestion.

But take note that 50% of the book is about rituals and may not be helpful.

And the author is not treating you as a friend. He's a priest and the overall tone is preachy (use the instructions). Explanation is minimal.

Edited August 30, 2021 by hyruga

[Marcel]

5 hours ago, hyruga said:

But take note that 50% of the book is about rituals and may not be helpful.

And the author is not treating you as a friend. He's a priest and the overall tone is preachy (use the instructions). Explanation is minimal.

Thanks for the heads up.

[Human Mint]

maybe what you need to integrate is stage green

[Spooney Spoonerson]

This is long but I really resonated with some of the things you are saying and can recall a lot of similar experiences.

I'd highly recommend reading David Goggins book 'Can't Hurt Me'. Or you can buy the audio book version on audible which has some extra stories and insights from David in discussion with the ghost writer, Adam Skolnick. He talks a lot about his 'demons' and the book is essentially his mastering and overcoming them, making friends with them and being able to use them. It gives a lot of practical tools and exercises helpful to doing this. It's good but further development is possible with regard to other stages.

Regarding boxing, I disagree with the idea that it's toxic masculinity bullshit. Once you get beaten in the constructive environment of a boxing gym or a martial arts school you learn to disassociate violence with a personal attack. It becomes impersonal. If you can take this into day to day living and every form of what you might perceive as a personal attack you will become less sensitive to emotional reactivity because you won't allow your ego to direct you into protecting itself so easily.

I think what bothers you about being angry, and I might be wrong, is that it's too easy. For example, I recently got shouted at by a drunk woman. I have a theory that the reason people so often recourse to anger when drunk is because when you're drunk on alcohol emotional states are felt more strongly and completely. This can be highly addictive because it is a distraction from not only every day life but the existential fears and self loathing that underpins a lot of people's lives. As they become more intoxicated the emotional states become more intense and they will reach peaks in these waves of increasing emotional volatility driving them deeper each time into new depths of unconsciousness and insulating them from uncomfortable and painful truths about themselves and their lives. The reason people keep drinking is to increase this affect and thereby increase their distance from these truths. But as the effects of alcohol begin to wane they are confronted with the inevitability that they will return to proximity with their problems. The thing is it doesn't matter whether it is a positive emotion or a negative emotion. All that matters is that you feel something more strongly than before. This is where the ego comes in. Positive energy is harder to come by and to generate than negative energy because it requires work, creativity, playfulness and risk. Negative emotions on the other hand are much easier to access. Not least because our brains centre governing emotion, the amygdala, is 75% devoted to negative emotions. That's triple that of the positive emotional centre. You can imagine the evolutionary benefits to this. Humans benefit greatly from being risk averse in deadly and unpredictable environments. As do most creatures. Of all of these anger is one of the easiest emotions to access. It requires almost no effort at all to be angry at something. If you think about it it's also highly economical in this way. Anger takes so little energy to generate that were someone to put a lot if not all of their energy into their anger they will become so overcome with emotion they can actually black out completely, becoming entirely oblivious to reality. Hence the concept of 'seeing red' or when a person describes a moment of rage as "I just snapped, then next thing I knew I was standing over the guy lying on the ground with his blood all over me". So when a person is faced with the threat of having to become conscious of an uncomfortable truth they become become angry because it offers the most scope for unconsciousness. 

Perhaps that's long winded but I think on some level you're aware of this waste of your potential, this shying away from uncomfortable truths about yourself and your life. You know you can do much better. It may be true that people around you are angry and negative. Maybe they moan, or become triggered by things. This may result in making this kind of behaviour seem like the norm. Like it's socially acceptable and happens all the time because it's healthy and should happen. Maybe for a time but when you're ready you can move on. The use of this anger is no longer necessary to your life. You no longer want to accept this needless suffering as normal anymore and that feeling might be the first manifestations of your realising that. 

Read decent books, hang round positive people, make them want to hang around you by being the best version of yourself when with them, cut out the people in your life who display negativity where possible, and where not possible try to minimise your contact with them or balance out their negativity with positive interactions/ rest and relaxation techniques. You have to actively bring beauty into your life either by creating it or pursuing it. Any way you can do it. Surround yourself with it. Beautiful thoughts, people, habits, places, things. "And lo the beast looked upon the face of beauty, and beauty stayed his hand. And from that day forward, he was as one dead." Realise everything that makes you angry, all these demons of yours. They are you. And everything that is beautiful in this world, everything that brings you to tears of joy. They are also you. Allow the two to meet. The only way to conquer evil is to love it to death. Find a way to truly love your demons and the things that piss you off. It will break your heart but it'll be worth it because you'll realise just how beautiful they were all along. Isn't that worth risking being a doormat from time to time? So you can TRULY love yourself instead of wasting time on all this cheap, faux self-love dominating our culture? Real self love comes from the hero's journey. Not from denial. The only way to find the right balance is to try.

I hope that's helpful. Good luck my dude!

[Marcel]

@Spooney Spoonerson

I in fact have read david goggins "you can´t hurt me " before and i watched a couple of interviews with him.

He is certainly one of my heroes when it comes to transforming ones life.

I agree with everything you said.

I honestly don´t even know what to add to what you said haha

So im kinda sorry for this very short response compared with your long and nuanced response.

Thank you very much.

That was really insightful.

 

 

 

[Spooney Spoonerson]

On 29/08/2021 at 4:06 PM, Swarnim said:

But really if you have stage Red mastered, you'll be able to effortlessly move between this assertive, dominant character to a submissive, introvert kind of character to other ones depending on the situation. You're not bound by red limitations like being afraid to look weak or soft after all(or are you?)

Yo! I've had some time to integrate this and this is roughly how I feel now. Still learning to turn that red into more of a searing coal than a fiery flash since the strong red is almost never required. I've had some moments where it would be easy to start escalating but I manage to stay on centre. My background makes me naturally more of a people pleaser so when I get pushed to far I used to struggle with the switch and it would seem extreme to onlookers. I learnt though that that's mostly people taking advantage of my submissiveness to the point I snap and then I look like the inappropriate one. So now I've gotten much better and establishing those boundaries earlier. Most people, I think are still too defensive and would view me as a people pleaser still but I think their mostly cynical and fearful. Hope you're good!

[John Paul]

Be humble or get humbled, only two options 

[Simple Success]

Get your red to power your orange