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PepperBlossoms

How to Tell if Compatible with Partner

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Posted (edited)

How do you tell if you are compatible with your partner?

How do you tell if it is going to work out or not?

What do you want the relationship to be like?  What do you want it to have?

Does your relationship have "love" and what is that to you?

Edited by PepperBlossoms

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Similar values and levels of development mean similar directions in life.

If you value self-development and your partner wants to drink, party, and spent her life on Instagram, the relationship won't last long.

In my experience, this is always the issue.

Everything else is secondary.

It isn't uncommon to me to disregard physical appearance when i find someone who is aligned with me.

At the same time, the woman can be gorgeous but when we have a conflict of values, our relationship will be very short, if it exist at all.

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Posted (edited)

9 hours ago, PepperBlossoms said:

How do you tell if you are compatible with your partner?

How do you tell if it is going to work out or not?

What do you want the relationship to be like?  What do you want it to have?

Does your relationship have "love" and what is that to you?

  • You dig deep into your subconscious mind to find out why you want a relationship.
  • You find your deal-breakers with women (or men). You use that to create your sample-space.
  • You look out into the world and see the reality of women (or men). You use this reality of women (or men) in the real world to make your expectations from them more and more realistic and you resolve conflicts between your expectations from women (or men) and the reality of them. This can be used to hone your desire more and more and to make it more and more tangible and concrete, based on your knowledge about the possibilities in the real world.
  • You create imagined scenarios in your head with, say, the celebrity you're the most attracted to. You're like 'Say I were dating Megan Fox (or Brad Pitt). Would it work or not? What would be the reasons it would/wouldn't work?' That'll give you insight into potential strategies and plans for making a relationship work that are practical and realistic for yourself to implement. (If you believe that said celebrity who you're attracted to is 'out of your league' or something, you have self-worth issues to work through.) This will also make you more and more cheat-proof/loyal/trustworthy in relationship, because you will start to be more rational and logical with who you choose to sleep with. You aren't getting too excited because they're hot, you're making conscious decisions based on whether a relationship with them would work or not. This will also save you a lot of time in that you won't waste time with the wrong people.
  • You use this to create a dating-strategy that's realistic, tangible and concrete. You will be a lot more rational and logical with who you date, how you date and in your assessments in whether it'll actually work or not. Most people go based on vague feelings and strong attraction. Attraction or 'your feelings' don't mean shit when it comes to compatibility! You have to be very rational, logical, pragmatic with evaluating compatibility first. If you invest your feelings too quickly or you get attached too quickly, that's something you're going to have to work through. Will save you a lot of unnecessary heartbreak and misery down the road.
  • Check for attachment-style compatibilities, love-language compatibilities. This is very important for the relationship to work long-term. If you have bad childhood conditioning and attachment-relationship traumas, you would do very well to work on that first. You don't have to do this alone, you can do it with a partner, in fact, some people will be more than willing to be involved with you in this. However, be the most pragmatic when it comes to working through it. Don't use being alone or being in relationship as a coping-mechanism for your traumas. No matter what other people say, no matter what your partner says/wants. This is a must for the relationship to work long-term and be very mindful of this.
  • Find your core emotional needs in relationship. That's where your deal-breakers will come from and that'll make your dating process more pragmatic and efficient. (I keep bringing up the notion of a 'pragmatic and efficient dating-process' because that is the solution to incompatibility in relationship! That literally is how to create a compatible relationship.) Create attachment-relationships that are compatible relative to emotional needs. For example, if a woman has a need to be provided for and a man has a need to provide for a woman in order to feel strong and masculine in the relationship, that's a needs-compatibility. If a man wants to be with a sexy-looking woman because he likes sleeping with a sexy-looking woman and if a sexy-looking woman needs validation and sexual empowerment in relationship, that's a needs-compatibility.
  • Check for sexual compatibility. I don't fully know how to do this yet, but the above pointers could give you a clue. For example, sexual fetishes have a lot to do with unmet emotional needs. If you have an emotionally compatible relationship, you could create a sexually compatible relationship and you could engage in your fetishes in a very emotionally safe manner! I only know that this is a serious, realistic possibility and that people do this, I haven't fully figured out the nuances of this yet. Maybe you could get some insights from those who know and understand tantric sex on this one.

HTH!

Edited by Parththakkar12

"Do not pray for an easy life. Pray for the strength to endure a difficult one." - Bruce Lee

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Aside from obviously enjoying each others company, and having similar values. The other single most important thing from my knowledge is;

Are the trajectories of your lives the same?

If you both don't want to live in the same places and accomplish things alongside each other, the relationship is virtually doomed. One or both of you will start sacrificing and compromising too much to the point it will become clear the relationship hinders you from living the life you want to live, and it'll have to be broken off to find someone more compatible.

Of course this depends if you want to live an ambitious and amazing life or not. Plenty of people get in relationships and settle because they get comfortable. They have some kids, buy a house, and now they've convinced themselves they have to sacrifice their dreams to maintain what they have. They want a return on their investment.

But as you study personal development more and more you realize; Comfort is the enemy of inner accomplishment.


"If you meet the Buddha on the road, kill him."

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On 20-4-2021 at 3:50 AM, PepperBlossoms said:

How do you tell if you are compatible with your partner?

You just know ?

 

On 20-4-2021 at 0:34 PM, Parththakkar12 said:

How do you tell if it is going to work out or not?

It never does. Someone always dies or breaks up in the end. The idea of a happy ending clearly becomes untenable in this light. Focus on your quality of life now. Do you feel inspired to continue with this person or not?

 

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