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Striving for more

My Pick Up journal

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Posted (edited)

Did my "first" approach today. Approached chick in supermarket, spoke to her, made eye contact & asked for her number. 

I've done approaches before, but this is the first real approach + ask for number I've done in ages, if ever. 

She had a boyfriend, but it felt good anyway. 

My standard is now minimum 1 approach a day, every day from now on, to just build up the habit. 

Just 1 approach per day, ideally ask at least 1 phone number per day. 

 

Mayn I can't wait to not have "9-5" (6-8) anymore & to be self - employed, so I can do more PD stuff. 

Just so much to focus on, I need better energy & cognition so I can study for self - employment skills on the side, maybe I'm overwhelming myself, maybe I want too much at once. 

Edited by Striving for more

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Posted (edited)

2nd December 2021

Approached a MILF in the park. Good eye contact and body language. 

Main issue > DID NOT CLOSE. Did not lead the conversation. Too much platonic, aimless chatter. 

I need to just close next time, STOP PUSSYING OUT 

I need to feel in to the embarrassment, cringe shame, feel in to it and do the counterintuitive thing. 

 

Tried to "chat up" colleagues friend, received 2 big shit tests. Failed the first one. Possibly passed the second shit test but then I waffled for too long > this probably showed I care too much, was being too try had, and showed that I'm not a smooth talker yet. 

I was surprised the second shit test didn't work that well, I didn't realize how deep girls could see through a façade of confidence.

 

Edited by Striving for more

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I am keeping my goals to 1 approach per day for this week, but next week I will do 1 CLOSE per day, a rejection counts, I just have to ask for the number/date - I intuit this is a key bridge for truly transcending approach anxiety and increase "boolsyness".

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@Striving for more Approaching at a supermarket isn’t the best place, because their guard will be higher. Find a social event on something that you’re interested in. “People who like the same things tend to like each other” as a great man once said.

Also, when you’re speaking to her, look for signs of interest. If she gives you long answers, smiles a lot and is interested in talking to you, then those are good signs. But if she gives short answers, and is generally facing away from you, it’s pretty obvious she’s not interested in moving forward. In which case, no need to risk a rejection, just move on.


"Wanting keeps me from the awareness I already have it. I already am it.” — Byron Katie

 

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4 hours ago, How to be wise said:

Approaching at a supermarket isn’t the best place, because their guard will be higher.

Not good advice at all. Any place IS a great place, we are social animals, you just have to acknowledge the weirdness of it.

"Hey I know this is random but you're cute as hell... my name is James".

"Hey I see you're busy but I have to say hello cause' you're so pretty".

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16 minutes ago, Sleyker said:

"Hey I know this is random but you're cute as hell... my name is James".

"Hey I see you're busy but I have to say hello cause' you're so pretty".

I most certainly wouldn’t open like that. There’s no need to tell the girl she’s cute, or you like her. She will know you’re interested because you approached her!

I would come up and ask her name. She will give you her name. Now, if she’s interested, she will ask for your name in return. If she’s not interested, she won’t ask. I will always be observing her for any interest.

Remember, it will take a girl three seconds of looking at you to know whether or not she’s interested in you. Your job is to figure out what the result is, whether you passed or not.
 

The best way is to ask her questions, and see how she answers them. Short answers mean no interest. Long and detailed answers indicates interest, because she wants to continue the conversation.


"Wanting keeps me from the awareness I already have it. I already am it.” — Byron Katie

 

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Posted (edited)

Does wearing a protection mask creates any obstacles in your approaches?? 

Edited by oMarcos

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Posted (edited)

@How to be wise I see what you're saying. I think seduction is so nuanced we can't say for sure that one method works better than the other one. Both can perfectly work in my opinion. I personally prefer to let her feel my intent by either telling her directly or just through eye contact. However I disagree with you on the supermarket not being a good place to approach.

If you're good at sensing the girl's mood, and have some social awareness you can approach anywhere and create a beautiful connection.

BTW @Striving for more, props to you for having the balls to do this, don't be afraid of rejection, that's what builds the man in you, keep it up.

Edited by Sleyker

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44 minutes ago, Sleyker said:

However I disagree with you on the supermarket not being a good place to approach.

I’m sure it’s fine, but there are easier places to approach. For example, if your friend invites you to a party with his friends, it’s far easier to approach because you have a mutual friend, so the ice is already broken, and her guard will be far lower. There’s even a good chance of having sex with her in the same event! 


"Wanting keeps me from the awareness I already have it. I already am it.” — Byron Katie

 

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Posted (edited)

@How to be wise

On 03/01/2021 at 4:38 AM, How to be wise said:

if your friend invites you to a party with his friends, it’s far easier to approach because you have a mutual friend, so the ice is already broken, and her guard will be far lower.

1. Due to restrictions I doubt there's any parties any time soon. 

2. Even without restrictions, there wouldn't be like a party going on every day (Maybe you're an LA celeb, I'm not).

3. Cold approach can be done anywhere, everywhere. It's infinitely abundant.  

Thanks for the encouragement guys. But really, I still have a long way to go. Years & years of pussying out won't get reprogrammed over night. 

Edited by Striving for more

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Posted (edited)

4th JAN 2021 ... (HOW DO I KEEP THINKING IT'S DECEMBER WHAT'S WRONG WITH ME HAHA)

(1) TRAIN APPROACH  - POSITIVE :

  • Sitting on empty train.
  • 2 Hot foreign girls sit opposite me.
  • They talk foreign languages (Sexy!) & I keep reading my book, with my earphones in.
  • I know straight away this is a golden opportunity,... now feeling fear in my stomach.... 
  • I pretend to look at my phone for a couple minutes ...

 

  • I grab my bools > take off my headphones & interrupt them > " I agree " I say as a joke (they speaking French/Arabic) > Girl ignores me for 5 seconds (shit test ??) > I look at the girl again & say "agree"
  • From there she drops her guard > we start speaking about languages & it's a nice chat. Unfortunately the train ended shortly (cockblock!) ... Then the girls said goodbye & walk off
  • I walk off (trying to not act needy, in my head thinking "please come back I love both of you!")  
  • Then I see police & use that as an opportunity to make a joke to the girls & they laugh 
  • Now I just walk off (I do have to get a different train now)

**CONFUSION POINT 

  • Would asking for a number here have worked? I didn't do it anyway it felt too rushed ... or perhaps I pussied out?

* AREA FOR IMPROVEMENT 

  • Should have spoken to them STRAIGHT AWAY ... (time was limited here) 
  • Should have capitalized on a topic that lead to a close* : e.g "Oh I've always wanted to learn French .. how about I take your guys number and you could teach me" (??)

 

(2) TRAIN NO APPROACH - FUCKING PUSSIED OUT :

  • I get on train & sit down > then super cute girl sits down ... but on the adjacent carriage 
  • straight away I make eye contact with the girl ... & we return eye contact another 2/3 times !! 
  • But this time, there are other passengers on the train 

 

  • ** CRUCIAL POINT - the train (tube) starts moving ... "Just go over to the over carriage & sit near her, introduce yourself straight away, ignore that there's others on the train" 
  • I Hesitate .... "It's too late now I think" 
  • I keep looking back at her (& she still shows some interest!) but I do nothing. 
  • I sit on the train in cowardice for 10 minutes. 
  • Almost at my stop ... I get up & move by the door (Next to her) still thinking to maybe ask her then .. ah too late I leave 
  • I leave feeling regret ... "she was my type, she actually made eye contact ... You dummy ... SHE WAS OPEN TO APPROACH - SHE SENT SIGNALS" 

 

*WEAKNESS / AREA TO IMPROVE 

  • I couldn't get over the fact that there were multiple other passengers on the train / near her (Even though she showed interest :()
  • I couldn't get over the fact i was sitting on the other carriage, & that "it would seem forced" if I went near her 
  • The self - consciousness / fear of public embarrassment overtook me. 

 

Edited by Striving for more

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@oMarcos

On 03/01/2021 at 2:26 AM, oMarcos said:

Does wearing a protection mask creates any obstacles in your approaches?? 

At this stage a face mask is irrelevant. My own mind is a big enough obstacle, it was there before face masks. 

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2 hours ago, Striving for more said:

Cold approach can be done anywhere, everywhere.

True, but some places will give you a much higher rate of success than others. Generally speaking, the more public the place, the harder it is. 
 

Second tip, don’t just approach anyone, unless you’re willing to go through a very large number of rejections. The harsh truth is, most girls that you’re interested in will simply refuse, either because they don’t like you or are unavailable. 
 

It’s much smarter to ‘test’ the girl before approaching. For example, make eye contact with her. If she smiles, and maintains eye contact, it’s a very good sign. However, if she quickly looks away, it’s very doubtful that she is interested in you romantically. 
 

Be clever, and save yourself a lot of energy and grief!


"Wanting keeps me from the awareness I already have it. I already am it.” — Byron Katie

 

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On 1/2/2021 at 2:00 PM, How to be wise said:

Approaching at a supermarket isn’t the best place, because their guard will be higher.

I disagree.

The rule is there are no rules.

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On 1/2/2021 at 6:54 PM, How to be wise said:

I would come up and ask her name. She will give you her name. Now, if she’s interested, she will ask for your name in return. If she’s not interested, she won’t ask. I will always be observing her for any interest.

Remember, it will take a girl three seconds of looking at you to know whether or not she’s interested in you. Your job is to figure out what the result is, whether you passed or not.
 

The best way is to ask her questions, and see how she answers them. Short answers mean no interest. Long and detailed answers indicates interest, because she wants to continue the conversation.

I agree.

 

6 hours ago, Striving for more said:

Would asking for a number here have worked?

It doesn't matter

 

6 hours ago, Striving for more said:

or perhaps I pussied out?

Yes.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Keep writing please. Subbed for life!

 

Arc

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Posted (edited)

@How to be wise

7 hours ago, How to be wise said:

If she smiles, and maintains eye contact, it’s a very good sign. However, if she quickly looks away, it’s very doubtful that she is interested in you romantically. 

I kind of disagree here. It's not a given that every girl will always smile >> some people have resting bitch faces, some girls feel too shy to smile right away. 

What if she quickly looks away but makes eye contact again once or twice?

Also surely, a girl could be "not interested" at first, but when you talk to her ... she becomes interested (because you're funny, confident, triggering the right buttons ect..)

Feel free to disagree

Edited by Striving for more

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7 hours ago, Striving for more said:

Also surely, a girl could be "not interested" at first, but when you talk to her ... she becomes interested (because you're funny, confident, triggering the right buttons ect..)

Amateur mistake.
 

As I said, the girl will have decided in the first three seconds of seeing you. Nothing you say after that will change her mind. Your job is to see the result, whether you passed or not. 


"Wanting keeps me from the awareness I already have it. I already am it.” — Byron Katie

 

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Posted (edited)

One day I wrote my phone number on a paper to a girl seated on a bus, while I was leaving for my stop. She contacted me afterwards actually, it was one of the most awkward things I've done in my life. And actually more people inside the bus saw it. The thing is, is it more painful to do something awkward, or to leave with the feeling of regreat. "No" is always granted.

Edited by oMarcos

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Posted (edited)

6 hours ago, How to be wise said:

Amateur mistake.
 

As I said, the girl will have decided in the first three seconds of seeing you. Nothing you say after that will change her mind. Your job is to see the result, whether you passed or not. 

I disagree. The girl might have seen you already a couple times, but she is just on "her world", sometimes she will not see you as a potential in just 3 seconds, that's too pretentious and real life is not like dating apps. 

Sometimes all you really need is just a good circumstance. The challenge is to create a circumstance where you can move freely without feeling weird.

Edited by oMarcos

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@How to be wise

7 hours ago, How to be wise said:

the girl will have decided in the first three seconds of seeing you. Nothing you say after that will change her mind. Your job is to see the result, whether you passed or not. 

WTF LOL ? REALLY ?

Cmonn 3 seconds ... that sounds ridiculous. Women are not super computer robots. They change their minds, mood. 

Or are you trying to say that all that matters is looks? 

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