Encouragement & Believers - where the fuck are these people ?

[Striving for more]

My whole life I have received a ton of discouragement, ridicule, rejection, isolation, dismissal, always the stupid one, the useless one. And this shadow still echoes within me every day. 

I became completely mute to hearing any form of encouragement, it was like I became deaf to it, because I was so used to being discouraged, when someone actually complimented me, saw potential, I wasn't able to listen.

I need to meet people who genuinely believe they can achieve the good life, and see this potential in me.  

Some people believe they can have money, but at the expense of everything else. Few people believe they can have it all.

I want to find people who believe they can have everything, health wealth happiness , creativity, joy love, sex ect.. . And people who believe this stuff in me to, who encourage it in me

I am weary of socializing because everyone is so fucking infected with disbelief, everyone is so judgemental, realistic. Telling me I'm too dumb and deluded. People laugh at me when they say I want to be an entrepreneur. My wage slave dad even finds it cringe. 

But I want these encouraging kind of people.

WHERE ARE YOU WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU PEOPLE 

[Meditationdude]

@Striving for more there’s probably a handful on here but that’s not gonna help your social life. If you find an answer to this PLEASE let me know ?

 

[mandyjw]

You are frustrated that others won't see in the best in you, while you pick out and see the worst in them for not seeing the best in you? See the vicious cycle here? See and appreciate the best in others, look beyond the flaws. If someone makes a comment that hurts or discourages, turn the other cheek. Prove them wrong and love them anyway. You get what you give out. Your thoughts create your interactions with people. 

If you look closely at an apple, you can find 100 different beauties or a 100 different flaws. With an apple, it's a bit easier to see even the flaws as beauty. It's the same way with people and situations. It's all magically open to interpretation. So interpret life as you want to see it. 

Edited December 12, 2020 by mandyjw

[xxxx]

@Striving for more,

You do not have to listen to people. I am a Highly Sensitive Person (HSP) myself, and I know what you are talking about - the slightest things can be harsh on people like us. 

This world is already too full of judgmental, hurtful people, and it is not your fault that they behave in such a manner. It is their own issue, and nothing to do with you. I have developed a mechanism myself - I never give myself emotionally to any person until I have assessed their nature completely.

When you realize that the world out their has their own issues to deal with, you turn inward. This is the best place to be - for you are your own knight in shining armor. As cheesy as it sounds, it is true. 

You can achieve what ever you wish to, and people who tell you otherwise have already limited themselves. 

To have true belief in someone needs having that sense of belief in yourself, first - and you should not seek encouragement from people who themselves do not know what constitutes them intrinsically as an individual. They are perhaps too scared to taste this idealism and sense of trust, because the world has told them time and again that it is wrong to dream. See, it works like this - the Ivan Pavlov/ classical conditioning effect, maybe? When you are young, and you dream high, and the society brings you down, and hits you emotionally, mentally and sometimes physically - and keeps doing this again, and again - and ties you around in those traps - financial, familial, etc. - people start to believe that this ruthlessness is the reality, and they start associating idealism with something dangerous. Society does that to them. Soon, they become a part of the same society that shuns others, and the domino effect continues. 

You have a choice. 

Believe me when I tell you that I have met different kinds of individuals - people who hurt you, competitive people, genuine haters, and while it was very difficult to come to terms with their attitude, I learnt certain imperative lessons. I could not, and still do not know how and why people behave in such a manner - discouragement, hate, spiteful behavior.

I choose to overlook now. It is a conscious choice. 

Do not give them any space in your mind. It's a waste of your time and energy. I have learnt this after a lot of tears, haha, believe me. Still, do not let this hurt turn you into them. That is what this society wants, and prove them wrong. 

Most of the people who have given great value to the world have not been the ones grounded in pure realism; they have been idealists, shunning the norm, and showing people that the impossible exists. The people that I know who have great capacity to help others are firstly secure in themselves. 

Of course, you can have all of those things that you mentioned. You can become an entrepreneur - but beware of the voices around you. The moment you realize that someone doesn't give good energy, scoot. You do not have to prove anything to anyone - even your parents. There are and always will be people who achieve a lot in this world - they just do not associate themselves with people who put them down.

Put your energy in finding that one person, maybe, and you will never need any one else. Before that, become that individual yourself. 

Also, if you are doing it already, stop with the victim mentality, People WILL NOT understand you, and you SHOULD NOT expect this from them. 

You have to become your own cheerleader. It is very difficult, and there will be many, many heartbreaks along the way, but you will then truly learn what courage actually is.

It takes courage to love. If you aren't getting it from the world, become the source yourself. 

Never behave with others in the same way they behave with you. LOVE THEM. Love so hard that they are forced to seek that love in themselves. Be so good that they can't ignore you. 

YOU CAN DO IT, AND WHILE I MAY NOT KNOW YOU, I GENUINELY BELIEVE IN YOU. 

COME ON, @Striving for more, SHOW IT TO THE DAMN FUCKING WORLD WHAT YOU ARE CAPABLE OF.

YOU ARE FUCKING GOD. 

[SgtPepper]

I understand what you mean man.

I just listen to Tony Robbins clips on YouTube if I need that hype in my life. If you have a streaming service, I have apple music, you can find albums of him talking about how to live your life higher, and it really works for me.

 

[DefinitelyNotARobot]

Stop looking for an external solution. Focus inwards. The problem you are facing lies inside of you. It's something I'm still figuring out myself, but if you want people to accept you, you have to accept yourself first. Once you've accepted yourself, other peoples unconstructive comments won't matter anymore.

Why does it hurt you so much when they don't believe in you? Is it because you secretly agree? Do you actually believe in yourself? If you did believe in yourself, you wouldn't really care about their doubts.

So start there. Start within yourself. Start by learning how to accept yourself first.

 

But even if you managed to find a person who was accepting you for who you are, it wouldn't matter that much. You just wouldn't trust them.

If you believe that the earth is flat, and I tell you that the earth is round, will you believe me? Obviously not.

If you don't believe in yourself and I tell you that you are a great human being capable of the greatest things, will you believe me?

That doesn't mean that there is no value in surrounding yourself with people who believe in you. There certainly is some value in that that. But to me it seems like you are trying to find the solution to an internal problem in the external world.

 

Here is what you should do.

1. Start learnomg how to accept yourself/believe in yourself.
2. Go out and meet new people.

Just try not to be needy about it and you'll be fine.

 

I  hope you'll find what you are looking for. Good luck!

[aurum]

@Striving for more

You start to attract them the more you believe in yourself .

More practically, you have to look for them. Entrepreneur masterminds, meetups, charity events, etc. Get creative with it.