Having a healthy and conscious relationship

[Daphnedenninghoff23]

I am have been wondering about this topic for a while now. 
I am currently pursuing enlightenment, and I am also in a relationship of 7.5 years. 
I already was very interested in contemplation, and I always felt scared to look at the subject of relationships. 

Of course, it came up again. I am noticing this web of lies and deception from both sides in my relationship. We are quite comfortable with each other, and overall I have nothing to complain about. Except that the love we feel for each other becomes questionable...when you really take a look at everything. It is a very selfish type of love. 
And also I have to admit that I have no clue what real love is.

Is it not possible to love as an ego? (ego asking, lol)

Is it possible to have a relationship with someone in a high consciousness way?

Thank you in advance for having this discussion with me. Perhaps someone can help me with a different or new perspective. 

 

 

[BornToBoil]

@Daphnedenninghoff23 I guess it's possible if you are brave enough 

[Username]

4 minutes ago, Daphnedenninghoff23 said:

Is it not possible to love as an ego? (ego asking, lol)

There is love when there is no resistance. Ego doesn't always have resistance but there are conditions it requires - conditional love. Unconditional love is possible when there is no ego.

[Daphnedenninghoff23]

10 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Expectations cancel true love.

31 minutes ago, Daphnedenninghoff23 said:

Yeah, this is what I am noticing. 

 

10 minutes ago, Etherial Cat said:

Yes. Granted that person can also access his/her ability for true love.

 

I can imagine that it is quite rare. I sometimes fear pursuing the path myself, because I am holding on to the "security" of the current dynamic I have with my partner. Even though through some insights I had in my own nature, it all seems to be falling apart.

It's difficult to go back now, and just act as if nothing is wrong. It's not possible for me to unsee how conditioned this love is. And how we will never be able to satisfy/fulfill each other. I want to move closer to truth.. But I fear letting go. And I am very very aware that I am going to have to. 

Hence..why I am thinking about this subject. 

[Origins]

@Daphnedenninghoff23 you will grow apart or toward each other naturally, if you are truly for your betterment you will allow your being to express what it needs to express to learn from the feedback of reality that springs in return from the manifestations that it rose within you to act to begin with. It’s when we stop listening to that call, that silent hum of life pulsating that life begins to move away from our true essence, our true expression. It’s time for you to listen inwardly more and allow things to fall or come together as they may, communicate as needed throughout this process with your partner.

[Pilgrim]

I am in a relationship that is in a very high consciousness way, but it was an absolute coincidence that we met.. totally out of the blue and utterly unexpected. And I think that's where you need to be coming from for something like that to happen. Before we met I was actually thinking to myself, "I think I am really okay with being alone"... it was a time of much change in my life and I realised I don't really need to be in a romantic relationship, I let go of it and was thinking to myself that it's actually not that bad to just live a solitary life. I preferred this much more than to be in a relationship that doesn't really satisfy me and then not much later I met my life partner.  

The key here is that it didn't come out of a need.. I don't think I would have otherwise met him. I was genuinely okay with the prospect of living a solitary life. Therefore there was no pressure either and there still isn't. If it's not working out for whatever reason, I know I will be okay. And that's also why there are much less expectations... I am just incredibly grateful I met someone so special and genuinely enjoying the ride, wherever that may lead.  

[Byun Sean]

Love in romantic relationships and dating is highly conditional. Thats just the way it is. We are operating and limited by the forces

of survival as humans. Thus we have many needs and thus, many times those needs clash.

 

If you want to experience unconditional love the only way to do that is to become it. The only way to do that is to pursue God's love meaning

becoming as conscious as humanly possible.

Consciousness=Love. The amount of Consciousness you have= the amount of Love you have.

Once you are conscious, you don't need an experience or person outside of you to make you feel blissful and loving. You are just loving by your

own nature.

 

I love this analogy I heard from Sadhguru once: 

If you are like a car:

love in relationships= your love is on push start

embodying love through spirituality= your making your love on self-start

 

You can have both in your life but never ever make someone or something else your main or only source of love and fulfillment.