When Someone Bests You At Literally Everything.

[Lynnel]

6 minutes ago, DimmedBulb said:

@Lynnel I wish I was lying, but she's amazing at literally all of those. She's getting a degree in composing, piano and cello, she's published multiple books, has gotten voice actor gigs from pro animators, used to make a living off of playing games on a competitive level, owns her own business, has an IQ of roughly 180 and has read basically every book to be found in a library.

Then, first of all, it's a special case, so comparing yourself with her is totaly pointless : it's just another league you don't get to compete in. And that's perfectly okay, we all are limited in a certain way.

Either way, there is always a price to pay : for every advantage you get you also have a disadvantage, and they are always equal : for the best reward there is a high price to pay. For instance in her case, with 180 IQ, which seems unreasonable, she would be lonely all the time, e.g. + many many psychological problems, plus may be ugly, etc.

Stop making it sound like she's perfect and has everything : unless you have put in the work/ self-dev. included, at 21, you really don't know much and you're most likely not happy, no matter how much fancy stuff you do. Superficially speaking maybe yes her life looks great but if you look at it seriously it only seems that way.

A person like Mozart + Hanz Zimmer + Dendi + Morgan Freeman + Mark Twain + w/e simply doesn't exist.

[DimmedBulb]

2 minutes ago, Lynnel said:

Then, first of all, it's a special case, so comparing yourself with her is totally pointless : it's just another league you don't get to compete in. And that's perfectly okay, we all are limited in a certain way.

How is that okay for anyone? Why would anyone be okay with that?

3 minutes ago, Lynnel said:

Either way, there is always a price to pay : for every advantage you get you also have a disadvantage, and they are always equal : for the best reward there is a high price to pay. For instance in her case, with 180 IQ, which seems unreasonable, she would be lonely all the time, e.g. + many many psychological problems, plus may be ugly, etc.

Many psychological problems, complete wackjob. Would trade any day though. I would lead a miserable existence, but at least I'd have something to be proud of.

5 minutes ago, Lynnel said:

Superficially speaking maybe yes her life looks great but if you look at it seriously it only seems that way.

I know exactly what it looks like. It's hell to her. I'm surprised she's still alive. Doesn't invalidate anything though. I'd swap places with Kierkegaard, a man known for only two things: his writings and his misery.

[abrakamowse]

On 9/12/2016 at 2:36 AM, DimmedBulb said:

Trying to do something perfectly sounds frustrating and exhausting more than anything. You can't possibly do that with everything, nor do I have enough attention span to do so. I'd have to be interested a lot, then I can get into that flow state. But because I'm depressed, I feel apathy for almost everything, so I can't focus on anything either.

You are not depressed. You "think" you are depressed.  You are attached to your thoughts, that's why you believe every thought that appears in your mind. You won't understand until you do some practice. If you do mindful meditation you will notice after a short period of time that some negatives thoughts dissolve in front of you and the have no power. But you need to sit and meditate at least 15 mins a day.

The idea is to train the mind to not be attached to any thought, you are not everything you think you are. Those are possibilities. If you choose to believe the thought that it appears saying "I am depressed"... you will be depressed and your body will feel tired, and so on... you have to stop believing those negative thoughts.

 

Watch Leo's video about Mindfulness meditation

 

This one is good too... by Teal Swan

 

Edited September 22, 2016 by abrakamowse

[DimmedBulb]

@abrakamowse I wish I could just focus for longer than 2 minutes. I can barely read through these posts or read back my own post or even watch those videos without getting distracted. It's why I'm not in school anymore. Just utter disinterest in anything. I feel like I'm on repeat and wasting people's time at this point.

[abrakamowse]

Can you observe your thoughts?  As if they were just thoughts,  without paying attention to the content of the thoughts?  That's meditation and the only thing can help you to get out of this hole. IMO.

[Pallero]

@DimmedBulb  I read most of your posts in this thread and it surprised me how strongly I could identify with some of them. I used to be very depressed, anxious, apathetic and full of self-loathing for several years. It's really really REALLY hard!

I'm now trying to rack my brain for something I could say, something that would have helped me when I was in that situation. I tried to get help back then, but nothing anyone said or did seemed to make any difference. It only depressed me further. I thought I had to be completely abnormal and beyond any help. My beliefs of my own incompetence and worthlessness were so strong that nothing seemed to shift them. My life was living hell and I thought it would always stay that way.

I wish I could give you an easy answer, but I haven't found one. Truth is, what finally happened to me was that I had been suffering for so long that I hit my personal limit (which is different for everyone, is my guess). It just got too painful and too awful to handle. I became very desperate. I had to make myself feel better, even for a little while! It became my sole purpose, just to feel better, whatever the cost.

So I started fighting. Weakly at first and getting discouraged all the time, but then I perhaps found a video that sounded kinda motivating and then I found something else and the ball started rolling.

Only you can feel how bad you feel and how much work needs to be done. And I feel that you really have to want it and want it bad. But don't worry, if you're not there yet, you will definitely get there sooner or later. Suffering doesn't last forever - it's a fact of life. 

And you might be thinking that it's not fair. How come others have it easy and you have to do all this crap? But please believe me when I say that no matter how impossible it may now feel, you WILL reap your rewards and they will be so amazing that no cello-playing Einstein will ever compare.

Don't lose heart!

[Key Elements]

Your friend found her talents and put them together into something. Now it's time to find yours. It's just there. It's within. All you have to do is explore it and bring it out. Talents within one person overlap each other to make something unique. Just look at Leo, Teal, and Ralph. They're all doing spirituality with coaching in different ways cause they have different talents and present it differently. 

[Harvey]

@DimmedBulb my best advise to you is that to buy the book called ( the power of now by eckhart tolle) you can start your journey from their once you read it consciously  then you know how to fix your situation.

[DimmedBulb]

@Harvey It has been on my computer for ages. I'm having a go at it now. It makes a ton of sense so far.

@Key Elements Does (subconscious) fear disable a person from recognizing this as truth?

@Pallero Thank you for your kind words!

[Key Elements]

@DimmedBulb

No...everyone has strengths and weaknesses. It's just a matter of gradually weaning off the weaknesses and bringing out the strengths. 

[Shin]

8 hours ago, DimmedBulb said:

 

@Key Elements Does (subconscious) fear disable a person from recognizing this as truth?

Of course it does, that's why 99.9999% of the population thinks their dreams are stupid and that they should focus on a normal/cosy life.

 

[Key Elements]

5 hours ago, Shin said:

Of course it does, that's why 99.9999% of the population thinks their dreams are stupid and that they should focus on a normal/cosy life.

 

Then it's time to stop following the crowd. 

[DimmedBulb]

On 16-10-2016 at 4:34 AM, Key Elements said:

Then it's time to stop following the crowd. 

Unfortunately a crowd will do everything to force a person into submission. Especially children are relentless in this practice. Conform or we'll beat you up is the general consensus in youngsters. I think that's where most of my problems stem from: primary school. Being the outcast, not knowing how to socialise, not knowing what was considered normal, the only way to feel good being getting the highest grades (and always ending up second or below). It turns you into a bitter, scar(r)ed person very quickly.

[Key Elements]

On 17/10/2016 at 3:21 PM, DimmedBulb said:

Unfortunately a crowd will do everything to force a person into submission. Especially children are relentless in this practice. Conform or we'll beat you up is the general consensus in youngsters. I think that's where most of my problems stem from: primary school. Being the outcast, not knowing how to socialise, not knowing what was considered normal, the only way to feel good being getting the highest grades (and always ending up second or below). It turns you into a bitter, scar(r)ed person very quickly.

Yes. I get what you're saying here. You know, at this point in my life, I learned that one cannot really change others' behaviours - only your own behaviours. So, in other words, if the person is really stuck in an undesirable situation, it's time to try your best to leave the situation. No one can change what happened in their past - not even a second ago. The past, even though it happened a second ago, is like something written in the history books. The present moment is the time to change what may happen to your future self. Don't worry if the change doesn't come right away or if it's not perfect. Change will come once you decide to keep trying and take baby steps toward it.

Below is one of my favourite quotes because I do notice that others and yourself take you more seriously by actions and not by words. (That's why, for example, in a job interview, the employer will take the application that has references, website, experiences, etc. more seriously because it's action based.)

Edited October 21, 2016 by Key Elements

[Key Elements]

Here's another one of my favourite quote...it's to leave people, places, and situations that are irrelevant behind.

[DimmedBulb]

23 hours ago, Key Elements said:

I learned that one cannot really change others' behaviours - only your own behaviours. So, in other words, if the person is really stuck in an undesirable situation, it's time to try your best to leave the situation. No one can change what happened in their past - not even a second ago. The past, even though it happened a second ago, is like something written in the history books. The present moment is the time to change what may happen to your future self. Don't worry if the change doesn't come right away or if it's not perfect. Change will come once you decide to keep trying and take baby steps toward it.

To quote Enchiridion:

"There are things which are within our power, and there are things which are beyond our power. Within our power are opinion, aim, desire, aversion, and, in one word, whatever affairs are our own. Beyond our power are body, property, reputation, office, and, in one word, whatever are not properly our own affairs.

Now, the things within our power are by nature free, unrestricted, unhindered; but those beyond our power are weak, dependent, restricted, alien. Remember, then, that if you attribute freedom to things by nature dependent, and take what belongs to others for your own, you will be hindered, you will lament, you will be disturbed, you will find fault both with gods and men. But if you take for your own only that which is your own, and view what belongs to others just as it really is, then no one will ever compel you, no one will restrict you, you will find fault with no one, you will accuse no one, you will do nothing against your will; no one will hurt you, you will not have an enemy, nor will you suffer any harm.

Aiming therefore at such great things, remember that you must not allow yourself any inclination, however slight, towards the attainment of the others; but that you must entirely quit some of them, and for the present postpone the rest. But if you would have these, and possess power and wealth likewise, you may miss the latter in seeking the former; and you will certainly fail of that by which alone happiness and freedom are procured.

Seek at once, therefore, to be able to say to every unpleasing semblance, “ You are but a semblance and by no means the real thing.” And then examine it by those rules which you have; and first and chiefly, by this: whether it concerns the things which are within our own power, or those which are not; and if it concerns anything beyond our power, be prepared to say that it is nothing to you."

 

23 hours ago, Key Elements said:

Below is one of my favourite quotes because I do notice that others and yourself take you more seriously by actions and not by words.

I've definitely learned that through experience. That realization however also sparked a need for a certain outcome, which upon not meeting made me miserable.

[Key Elements]

@DimmedBulb

 

-Best of Journey to you.

 

We drop our past because we make space for this:

 

Otherwise...

Edited October 22, 2016 by Key Elements