evgn

Cant let go of her

12 posts in this topic

Ive been struggling to let go of a girl for 4 months.

The thought that she doesnt like me or dont want to be around me its very painful i cannot stop blaming myself for that. I havent slept with this girl we just kissed once. I want to forger her or at leats stop looking at her in that way. I cannot forget her because i see her very often our town is not big and we have mutual friends aswell so its not possible to completely forget her.

As i said the most painful thing is that she doesnt give a shit about me and she doesnt like me and i just cant stop thinking about her every fucking day...

Of course nobody is obligated to like or to love you but i have never experiance so intense pain with a girl...

Edited by evgn

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You have a bad case of oneitis.

 

The cure?  Most guys (stage orange/achiever men) would tell you to get into pick up and approach.  Meet more women.  A few years ago, I would too.

 

But alas, that is only going to mark your feelings of scarcity and lack.  How you feeling not worthy and not enough so you pine after a girl who rejected you.  Hoping that he approval will make you feel better about yourself.

 

You must learn to love yourself.  Heal yourself.  Do some self love guided meditations.  Try some eft tapping.  Yoga and shamanic breathing.  Tripping on shrooms will give you some perspective.

 

When you do this, you will not give a fuck about her and only focus on women who actually like you and accept you.

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Do self love. 

I also depended on men. It wasn't good.

EFt tapping, self love practices, shamanic breathing. 

Ego transcendence. That will set you free. 

What you're not realizing is your own lack and wanting to fulfill it in unhealthy ways. This leads to a pattern of self  destructive relationships in the hopes of finding that ultimate love cure. Until you realize it's a false shadow of the self. A shadow causing you to think in certain ways. Liberate yourself from that shadow and you'd never want to look at that girl again 

You are right now in the love addict stage. You will attract a love avoidant 

I'm finally free from love addiction. 

 


 Don't sell your soul short

https://www.actualized.org/forum/topic/55544-stage-pink/  Our commitment to be positive and to do good should be so strong that it will drown out all forces in the world. 

Hope Faith Peace Power Love Positivity Empower us to shape a world marked by ways of life that lead to justice and peace. 

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Thank you for your comments, it really make me feel better.

yeah its very unhealthy and destructive,

it feels like her opinion about me its to only that matter to me..

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What would be the example of self love exercises, techniques etc.?

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Hey man, I also felt the exact same feeling.

First of all, please understand that the thing will cure you for sure is time. 
Try to cut any connection you have with her, it will speed up the process. (unfollow on all social media, don’t meet her etc..)

Also, stop beating yourself up. Its not your fault, you aren’t deciding how to fall in love with. 

Let yourself feel the pain completely, and mindfully. Ask: Where its located? How does it feel? Is it like a knife or more like a cloud of pain? Be mindful, it will help you and grow you.

You can use the letting go technique. VERY powerful on these kind of cases.

Reflection can help a lot!

Do some self love and self acceptance work.

Also, try to be decisive - or that you try again and all the way to be with her, or you just let EVERYTHING go. This little hope that “maybe she one day will want me / Maybe there is a chance” can be very toxic and just make you stuck.

And just remember that within few months it will be behind you :)

Be strong, you are loved

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keep in mind that attachment is a survival mechanism for the ego this one thought can flip your entire perspective on its head . it works both ways on the one hand your attaching your self to her because you see some things in her that help you preserve your identity and reinforce ego patterns . on the other hand she does not care about you and is chasing other guys because shes trying to survive her identity and doesnt see you fit for that task . its really simple when you look at it this way  all of us are guilty of surviving the ego one way or another and no matter how innocent and pure our actions might seem we are actually selfish devils on the most fundamental level 

just my 2 cents

Edited by kai0

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11 minutes ago, kai0 said:

keep in mind that attachment is a survival mechanism for the ego this one thought can flip your entire perspective on its head . it works both ways on the one hand your attaching your self to her because you see some things in her that help you preserve your identity and reinforce ego patterns . on the other hand she does not care about you and is chasing other guys because shes trying to survive her identity and doesnt see you fit for that task . its really simple when you look at it this way  all of us are guilty of surviving the ego one way or another and no matter how innocent and pure our actions might seem we are actually selfish devils on the most fundamental level 

just my 2 cents

In know that attraction is survavival mechanism but i just cant imagine her running after guy in my eyes she doesnt have to run after anybody but i know that i am deluded. 

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1 minute ago, evgn said:

In know that attraction is survavival mechanism but i just cant imagine her running after guy in my eyes she doesnt have to run after anybody but i know that i am deluded. 

trust me she masturbates to pictures of some nerdy guy with two furs for a beard and non mascular probably with braces too

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1 hour ago, RoerAmit said:

Hey man, I also felt the exact same feeling.

First of all, please understand that the thing will cure you for sure is time. 
Try to cut any connection you have with her, it will speed up the process. (unfollow on all social media, don’t meet her etc..)

Also, stop beating yourself up. Its not your fault, you aren’t deciding how to fall in love with. 

You can use the letting go technique. VERY powerful on these kind of cases.

Do some self love and self acceptance work.

Also, try to be decisive - or that you try again and all the way to be with her, or you just let EVERYTHING go. This little hope that “maybe she one day will want me / Maybe there is a chance” can be very toxic and just make you stuck.

 

I cant stop see her because because even if i dont want as i said our town is small and we have mutual friends.

I dont beat myself up that i love her but that she doesnt love me(because  i might be not handsome enough in her eyes and so on and so forth)

When i start forgeting her either i see her or she react on my story in social medial.

Yes i have this stupid hopes about her that one day smth might happen ...

Edited by evgn

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@evgn

Its alright to feel this way. I think most human beings go through this at some point in their lives.

Eventually I'm sure you will think of her less.  

 

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