Bright Brilliant Beautiful

[Preety_India]

 

A rant against my Ex 

 

See I can't love you. Stop calling me. 

It's more than 2 years that I broke off with you. I'm with a new man in my life now. You can't accept that I found a new man, but that's okay. 

I broke up with you in 2017 and it was over right there. But you can't move on. 

All your desperations for me are fake. 

You don't know what loving a woman means. 

To love is to care, to share, to be there. 

You never there when I needed you. You are like an absentee dad who only shows up at court.. 

You only wanted me as a toy.

You are not there to care for me, to support me, and I don't mean financial, I mean physical and emotional. You were never with me. 

You never wanted to marry me. You never wanted to live with me. Then why are you calling me? How are you loving me? 

I don't want such love. It's not love if you don't deeply want to be with the person who you say you love. 

You abandoned me like they abandon puppies on the street. 

You treated me like a ragdoll.

You never wanted to help me when I was in crisis. 

You wanted me sexually available when I'm battling crisis in my life. When I needed a shoulder to cry, you never gave one.. 

I never felt loved with you. Nor did I feel wanted.

You shouldn't call me when I was done with you. I moved on from all the Gaslighting you did to me. 

You were just using me for your pleasure. 

I had plans to marry you, to build dreams with you. But you only wanted me for pleasure. 

When you can't love a woman, it's best to leave her alone rather than leave her hurt. 

Your love is fake. Even friends have shown me greater love and compassion than you. 

I can't say to a dying man that I love him but not be there for him. Even if I wasn't able to be there for him, at least I can show him emotional support. As much as I can. You have to respect others to earn their respect. You have to love others to earn their love.

You never loved me. You never wanted to share my troubles. You never loved me for who I was. I was only supposed to cater your needs. 

To love is to serve. To understand. To share and to care and create a bond of trust.

You gave me nothing. Not even a word of appreciation. You never created joy. In fact you tried to hurt and keep hurting when I would tell you to stop.. 

I gave you all my heart, my body and my mind and everything else. You used my heart because you just wanted a girlfriend, you didn't want me, you just wanted a girlfriend for your sensory pleasure. 

My heart is not on sale. I want to be with a man who wants to be with me, spend time with me, understand me, care for me, accept me, who will be my best friend and companion for life, someone who I can trust and rely on, someone with who I can grow, someone who I will love wholeheartedly and without doubts, someone who believes in giving a woman, and not exploiting her, someone who will never make me feel lonely or abandoned or guilty. A true companion and life partner. 

Friendships are earned. Love is earned. Family is earned.. 

These bonds  are not for misuse. I can't be going around pretending to love men without actually showing it in action. That's called manipulation and not love. 

And that's what you did to me. Just manipulating me to get laid. And then discarding me like trash. 

Your love was fake. It was just a game. But you broke my heart. 

I realized that you didn't love me. That you just wanted me but didn't want me for who I was. You only wanted me as an object you can play with and spend your happy time with and then turn a blind eye to me.

What you did still hurts. Like a stab in the back. A betrayal. 

Today I'm with a good loving man who is my partner and companion. He loves me and his love shows. He is with me when I need him, he shares, he connects, he cares, and he creates a bond of trust and mutual joy. Not a parasite like you. He is not selfishly looking only for what he wants. He wants me to be happy as well. 

Not only does he want me to be happy but he wants us to be happy together and he builds a life with me. A bond. He doesn't abandon me. I feel like family with him which I never felt with you. 

Now you're jealous that I have moved on and found a happy relationship. 

I can't forgive you for all the pain you caused me. 

So stop trying to call me to again use me as a toy. I'm smarter now. I won't fall for your games. 

Your manipulation is over. I got freedom from your manipulative Gaslighting love. 

I'm no longer your victim or sucker. 

I am free from your love scam. 

No woman should ever fall for you. All you will do is make them miserable and ruin their happy life..

I will keep blocking you as much as you try to call me. 

I don't need your persuasive manipulation. 

You don't love women. You only play and  use them as you please. 

 

 

Bye

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Depression and trauma is a hell of a disease 

 

I'm not in the best mental health 

Unresolved pain

The pain body has to be released. 

I feel like crying all the time 

Family foundation. Being prepared. Having a structure. Never had it. 

Confidence base. Don't feel put down 

 

Reconciliation, ricochet and the boomerang effect

Judging because I'm also judged 

Focus on healing and not on the depression. Counterintuitive approach. 

Healthy coping ways 

Feeling lost 

Looking at things logically 

Coming to closure 

 

 

My memory feels like it's virtually non existent. 

Say no to being judged. 

Surviving narcissistic childhood abuse. 

Surviving Gaslight abuse. 

When the obstacle is huge, the effort should also be huge. 

The feeling of community belonging 

Anxiety and cognitive decline. 

Hyper stressed. 

Escape mechanisms

Spectator of self destruction - my ex

 

Take ownership 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Loving deep peaceful authentic

 

Rosy language is pretty easy for someone who has never suffered. 

 

Understanding that even they are reacting out of depression. 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Certain things incredibly helped me during my depression 

They provided me an escape. 

Without them I would have been dead long ago. 

 

Also my current boyfriend is extremely supportive and understands me when I'm upset. 

He also suffers from depression. But his depression is not as worse as mine.he too had childhood issues.. So he completely understands all my issues. 

Yea sometimes we do have arguments. But overall I'm extremely happy with Andrew. 

Andrew you're the most wonderful man in my life. 

You're my boyfriend, my companion and my lifeline. 

 

 

 

 

You need supportive people. 

 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

Non emotional state 

Positive emotional state 

 

Count numbers 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Breaking the boards 

 

When the devil works hard, you need to work harder. 

The Devil always enters the weakest house first. 

 

Breaking the Ego. Breaking failure triggers. Raising impulse tolerance 

Zero reaction policy 

 

 

It's only a psychopath that keeps manipulating and defending shamelessly. 

 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Shaking meditation: The easiest way to release stress in five minutes

We all understand meditation differently. But most of us picture meditation as sitting quietly in one corner with back straight and feet grounded. But what we don’t picture is being in a position where our muscles start to tremble and our body shakes. However, this is exactly what happens in shaking meditation.

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

What is shaking meditation?

The practice is officially called TRE (trauma releasing exercises). You must be thinking that shaking is so active and deliberate, how can it qualify to be meditation?
Shaking is a process of warming up – the idea is to loosen up and shake out all the built-up tension in your mind and body. While most meditation techniques require you to be still and be aware of your body, shaking meditation is the act of letting go.

All mammals shake. If you have noticed, dogs tremble/shake right after they get up or when they face a new situation. By shaking, we literally shake off the old energy and tension as a way of resettling. We, humans also shake when our fight or flight impulses are activated, which means when we face a threat to our system or are in trauma. Shaking out is the easiest way to get rid of it

 

By shaking your body for 15 minutes, you can calm your body after a long day. Shaking activates the parasympathetic nervous system and signals the brain to calm, relax and let go. Shaking also activates the lymphatic system of our body, which helps our body get rid of the toxins.

 

There is no wrong way to shake. To try shaking meditation, stand with your feet hip-width apart and soften your knees and drop your shoulders. Begin shaking and feeling the bounce through your knees and let the vibration spread to your arms and shoulders. Try to shake your entire body with little trembles and full body shakes. You can even play some music if you want.



TRE is an active practice and thus is great for people who are unable to switch off while sitting still. Shaking mechanism can be great for people suffering from trauma, grief and even phobias. The involuntary shake is a burst of good news from the muscles directly to the central nervous system. The signals generated can create new pathways inside the brain. You can start the practice by doing it for five to 20 minutes in a day. As no equipment is needed, you can do it anytime anywhere...

[Preety_India]

 

 

Breaking the boards / breaking the barriers 

Through meditation 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Nice flower. Water lily 

 

 

 

 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

The best revenge is a life well lived 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

Raft aesthetics 

Caravan aesthetic 

Castle aesthetic

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

The pain body has to be released. 

 

Family foundation. Being prepared. Having a structure. Never had it. 

Confidence base. Don't feel put down 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

The pain body has to be released by venting, consolation, comfort, acceptance, healing. 

The bruised ego has to be healed. 

 

foundation

 

 

 

Community belonging. - having a sense of belonging to a community. 

 

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

Foundation 

A structure. 

Basic survival 

Passions. 

Desires 

Health.. Taking care of health 

Responsibility to self 

Responsibility to community 

I will call it the eco-centric way of living. 

 

You are self and Ecosystem centered. 

 

 

 

 

 

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

 

The pain body has to be released by venting, consolation, comfort, acceptance, healing. 

The bruised ego has to be healed. 

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

Community belonging. - having a sense of belonging to a community. 

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

Foundation 

A structure. 

Basic survival 

Passions. 

Desires 

Health.. Taking care of health 

Responsibility to self 

Responsibility to community 

I will call it the eco-centric way of living. 

 

You are self and Ecosystem centered. 

⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡⚡

Confidence base. Don't feel put down 

Sometimes when you are in a group and people try to put you down by showing that they are intellectually or physically superior to you. 

Don't feel bad. 

Even if you are an average person, you have the right to live and express, don't feel put down by cheap tactics.. 

A strong person does not put others down. They accommodate weak persons 

You are of value no matter what your looks or IQ. 

You always have value no matter what. 

Don't feel isolated or excluded even if someone is making you feel that way. 

 

Edited September 28, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Confidence base. Don't feel put down 

Sometimes when you are in a group and people try to put you down by showing that they are intellectually or physically superior to you. 

Don't feel bad. 

Even if you are an average person, you have the right to live and express, don't feel put down by cheap tactics.. 

A strong person does not put others down. They accommodate weak persons 

You are of value no matter what your looks or IQ. 

You always have value no matter what. 

Don't feel isolated or excluded even if someone is making you feel that way. 

 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

My favorite women. Katherine Ramsland and Candace DeLong. 

Sometimes I like Nancy Grace but not other times. 

Candace DeLong interviewing prisoner Susan grund.

 

Edited September 27, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

 

Aesthetic 

 

forest aesthetic...in the background. 

 bonfire 

Sleepy hollow

Halloween 

Fireplace aesthetic 

Raft 

Caravan aesthetic 

Castle aesthetic

Dungeon aesthetic 

 

 

Edited September 28, 2020 by Preety_India

[Preety_India]

I'm slipping into depression. 

 

[Preety_India]

 

 

 

 

[Preety_India]

 

I'm going to focus on educating myself more everyday.