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Preety_India

Bright Brilliant Beautiful

195 posts in this topic

TSDLYB

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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October 1st, 2020 is the worst day of my life. I will always remember that. 

Lots of lessons to be learned about healing. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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There is a certain pride in healing. 

 

 


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How do you feel when someone loves you deeply and unconditionally and completely. 

 

That's liberation. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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What's the solution to all this messiness 

 

 

Is to love yourself. In best way possible. 

To honor oneself 

 

A true love never dies no matter what. 

 


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The biggest lesson for a woman is to love herself as much as possible. 

 

From that arises all the healing and renewal. 

The growth. 

An institution where you are belonged, honored and respected and loved and you matter, where you are cared for, and you have social support. Where you are loved for who you are. 

 

 

 

 


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Higher emotional energy plane 

 

 

Lower emotional energy plane 

 

 

 


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Men and sexual harassment 

 

 

This is a difficult topic for me. 

 

Just 2 days back I faced a sexual harassment incident. And the person who is a Manager at a good position in an educational institution called me up and said nasty abusive sexual things to me. 

I have no idea how he got my number. Maybe it was on the university record. 

He kept saying sexual things. Like advances. And I just blocked him 

 

The incident made me very nervous and my morale was really down after the call. 

I have faced numerous sexual harassment incidents over the years.. 

Getting groped on the bus to work is like the common incident. It hurts a lot. 

I always try to get an empty bus to work so that I don't have to face sexual assault and groping and molestation. 

I have vision issues and anxiety issues that's why I can't drive. I can only drive short distances. 

 

I used to always think that men who are on the streets like drug addicts, homeless, alcohol addicts and gang members or just the criminal type of men abuse women sexually. 

I always thought that educated men were better and safer to deal with. 

But that's not the case. 

When I had relationship with men, starting from my college days, these men were highly educated men or boys and they came from good families and they were absolute monsters in the relationship. They would play with women, cheat on them, not be committed to them, they were okay with rape and there was a certain rape culture on the campus. 

There was this girl who was impregnated by a guy on the campus and she had an abortion and then she went into deep depression. 

There were numerous stories where the guys would only want the woman for sex and they would hurt them in the end. 

Stalking was common. Sexual harassment was common. 

I had to use clever strategies to keep myself safe like not giving my number to any of the guys. Because they would send threats or sexual advances to women directly. And harass them if they didn't get relies or blackmail them. 

I always tried to keep myself on the safer side. 

But this did not escape my notice. That even educated men like doctors, I remember being to a doctor who touched me inappropriately. It was a very humiliating experience. 

So what really shocked me is that the whole assumption that educated men are not going to do such things is very wrong. 

The sexual assault problem is much higher in the streets and among uneducated men. 

But it's not less in the educated society. 

I think metoo movement has caused a lot of women to come forward with their sexual harassment stories. 

 

So it's a misleading thing to think that sexual harassment only happens with street type of men 

 

I remember one of my friends whose elder sister was pursuing a PhD in physics at a reputed institution in India. 

And her professor called her to his office cabin. And she had asked for some guidance before her thesis submission. And he made a sexual advance to her that she will be allowed to be there only if she does what he tells.. And she refused and she decided to quit her education. 

Examples like this are plenty. 

And often times if the woman tried to get legal action, her family will get death threats. So she would rather just let it go than fight it 

 

 

 


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In my future when I feel psychologically strong enough, right now I'm not psychologically in the strongest frame, I'm still healing from past scars.. 

But in the future, I would want to be a child abuse activist. 

And I would want to be an activist for women. Battered and abused women. 

Open a foundation for them where all the abused women who have suffered in numerous ways in their relationships will find hope and shelter and a refuge. Someone to hear their stories. Someone to care for them. Someone to help them heal from their pain 

 

And to give education and guidance to teen girls on health and boyfriends so that they don't end up getting ruined in toxic relationships.. 

In my life I have seen numerous women suffer online offline, and I have always sensed their pain. 

 

 


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The concept of karma as per me. 

 

The essence 

 

Whats the meaning of true love? 

 


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Whats the meaning of true love? 

According to me, 

True love is about creating hope and giving closure and completeness. 

A person who truly loves you will give you hope, in some manner. 

 

True love to me is like a new seed in the soil.. That grows skyward. 

 

People who are loving try to create hope. 

 

They don't abandon you without hope. They don't leave you hanging. 

They leave you with trust, hope, faith and companionship. 

They bring you closure and completeness. They try to fulfill you and cement the hurt and void within you with some sort of comfort, hope and connection. They don't let you feel forsaken. They are still with you in some way, always supportive of you and never letting you fall. 

In short they don't want to fail you or give fake support but truly are there for you. They create hope.. 

That's how God is. God creates hope.. 

Always remember that, the people who truly love try to create hope. 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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When a guy says opposite of what's happening in your mind, then it's time to leave him, because he is going through too much cognitive dissonance and you can't convince him no matter how much ever you tried. 

 


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The concept of karma as per me. 

 

The essence


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Women need a lot of love and healing and not abandonment. Abandonment =  Rejection.


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The concept of karma as per me. 

 

The essence

 

To me karma is not what usually people think it is. 

It is not what goes around comes around. 

 

 

It is different. To me it's the lost essence of the soul reappearing as a tiny glimpse in life. 

 

For example, a grandmother who loved tending a garden. She used to take such good care of the plants. 

She was always happy. She always cared. 

Now she suddenly passed away. 

After many years,one day  some children were playing in that garden. They could feel a strange fragrance in the garden. It can be explained by the fact that the garden had such a great variety of flowers 

But. There is a problem. 

The fragrance is felt even in places where there are no flowers in the garden. It feels like an external agent is taking care of the garden.. 

It's the essence of the grandmother's spirit still looming in the garden. 

This is what I call karma. 

 

To me it means closure and not revenge. 

 

A spirit looking for closure 

A closure can mean several different things 

Like 

- a meaning 

- a goal 

- a message that the spirit wants to communicate and deliver 

- an acknowledgement. The spirit wants an acknowledgement of something. 

- the spirit wants an answer 

- a spirit wants to be heard, someone to hear 

- the spirit wants to convey a sentiment. For example a dead man wants to convey the message that he is happy seeing his widow doing better. 

This is what I consider the examples of karma where the spirit is always seeking for a closure. 

 

 

Edited by Preety_India

INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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I'm imagining an aesthetic where I'm sitting in a room on a ship and this room is like stacked up on another room like bunker beds in a train compartment and these are like small cute bedrooms with only the bed and a window.. And far below is the main body of the ship.. 

The window has curtains. And people constantly peep out of the curtains and talk to each other, they look below for the ones that are living below their tier and call out their names so they can talk to them. You have to slide your head out the window and talk to them. 

Fun fun. 

On a fairytale ship. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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The worst person is the person who plays God. 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Don't let something that is not an embodiment of true love to drain your loving energy. 

 

Those who don't represent the principle of true love eventually become losers and lose out on true love. 

Those who represent the principle of true love will coalesce together to find common energy within 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Whatever is a representation of true love will grow you and give hope 

Whatever is not a representation of true love will drain you. 

 

All representation of true love remain scattered throughout the universe like broken pieces of a large building.. 

Once you begin your journey of finding true love in the world, these pieces begin to coalesce together and you will see that happening in your life. 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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Higher emotional energy plane 

 

 

Lower emotional energy plane 

 

 


INFJ-T,ptsd,BPD, autism, anger issues

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