Going out alone

[Bexx]

Hey guys  my first post! So recently I've been going through some pretty drastic spiritual and inner changes and growth (obviously that's how I got here lol) and I lost my best and only friend of 9 years along the way. I have been wanting to dive into psychedelics for a pretty long time, but right now I don't have anyone I can trip with, and I'm terrified to take my first trip alone. I also currently live with my parents so tripping at home isn't an option, I don't think. I used to smoke weed heavily until I had a panic attack, convinced myself I was dying, and have now been sober for 3 months! I also have been longing for nature and...the earth. I want nothing more than to go explore national parks and trails and forests and mountains by myself, but my parents have kind of instilled this fear inside of me that if I go out on a hike by myself, or if I go travel by myself, that I'm going to get killed or kidnapped or something horrific is just going to happen if I do these things by myself. I just feel completely stuck and scared because I have no one to go do these things with, and I honestly want to experience life by myself, but I have this paranoia that's holding me back...Open to any kind of advice, or criticism, or stories from anyone who has experienced this or might be feeling this...<3   

[Leo Gura]

There is certainly no problem for an adult to go hiking or traveling by herself. No one is gonna kidnap you or even care.

Your parents are just being paranoid because that's how parents are with their kids.

[Bexx]

@Leo Gura what practices or methods could I use to get past that fear and just do it? Also I feel like I'm at the right time in my life to experience psychedelics, but I've been told to not take my first trip alone  

[GroovyGuru]

@Bexx I'm only a year older than you so I can kind of relate to your situation. I've tripped twice before, both on mushrooms. Personally, I would have never tripped for the first time alone. I'm sure there are tons of people that have done that, but I was never ever gonna do that. I did it with 3 friends both times. It's been about 2 years since, and I'm really wanting to do it again, but even now I would probably want to do it at least one more time with my friends. The 2 times I've done it, I'm convinced that it was either a bad batch, or we took too little because I never had any extraordinary experience. There were even hardly any visuals or anything of the sort. So if I'm going to properly trip for the first time, yeah, I'd be a bit nervous to go alone. But again, that's just me.

[Guest EmptyVase]

For your first time, you should get yourself a trip sitter. You don't necessarily need someone to trip with you. 

My first deep trip was going really good and at the peak, I was actually alone in another room meditating. But while coming down and becoming a "human" again, I just was really grateful to have another person with me. 

Even though everything went fine, when my ego realized to what degree it had been erased, I panicked for a few seconds. But then, I just relaxed in my friends company. I could feel a really earthing, human connection. So, despite the good trip, having a sitter was definitely a good idea. My next time will be alone though, as I've had my first taste of those other realms. 

 

[Michael569]

I can be extremely purifying to do this on your own just make sure you don't go too far outside of any civilisation if your survival skills (e.g. tent setting, fire setting, some basic meal prep) are not great. But exploring nature on your own can bring all sort of stuff on surface so also be prepared for that as well. There is something to it when solitude is combined with the purity of nature that suppressed emotions resurface, I've experienced that when solo-hiking. Good time to do some soul-cleansing and some emotional growth. 

Also make sure you are well packed especially in terms of first aid, emergency food, fire starter kit, headtorch with spare batteries, external phone battery, extra warm layers, waterproof jackets and bag for your backpack and that sort of stuff. Also repelents, tick tweezers, swiss knife. Make sure to register your journey somewhere and tell few people that you'll be out. But the chances of anything odd happening are rare and most likely you'll have the most amazing time. 

[kag101]

First of all, if you had a panic attack bacause of weed, than you are very likely to have one (possibly worse) with psychedelics. They are much more potent than weed. In your case, I think it’s a high risk gamble. 

Second, having only one friend is not enough for having a solid support system. Bonding with others and having a sense of belongingness is a very important human need. 

This idea that one has to be content merely through solitude and “self-love” is BS. 

So my advice would be to find ways to making new friends. 

[universe]

Start with a low dose. If you are already used to weed you will have no problems. Eat some dark chocolate while taking it - it releases serotonin and will make it less of a chance to have a bad trip.

Also don't take it when you are feeling down. Psychedelics will make every feeling you have more intense - so this is a no-brainer.

I also once thought I would die from weed (couldn't move and had to throw up). But it was still not a bad trip. I just accepted everything happening. When you accept what is happening - there is no resistance. Bad trips for me are always linked to the ego resisting it's annihilation. When the ego is clinging too much the psychedelics will unleash their full power on it. When you just let go there is nothing for the psychedelics to push against.

Although having a "bad trip" is nothing to be afraid of. Maybe this is exactly what you need right now.

[Espaim]

If you're going to have a first time alone outside and you're not confident in your ability to stay chill, then start very low. I mean 1/4 or even a microdose of the substance you want to take. Then go up.

There's no rush here. You go slow, you get the results. You rush, you may get the results, but the chances of shit happening are exponetial.

Be cocky and think you can handle anything, get your face hyperslapped.

Edited August 31, 2020 by Espaim

[Bexx]

@kag101 thanks i never thought of making friends before!

[kag101]

23 hours ago, Bexx said:

thanks i never thought of making friends before!

It can be a little challenging... 

I’m just warning you to not fall into the trap of thinking that you can be fulfilled without meaningful connection with others. A lot of people spiritualize loneliness...