What Exactly Is Shadow And Shadow Work ?

[Kross]

I've not been able to come across a concrete answer to this question, and not able to figure it out properly by reading various stuff related to it.

 

Edited July 23, 2020 by Kross

[nistake]

One of the forum members explains it really well. Here it goes:

 

[Rilles]

Let me give you an example. I did 3 months of daily Shadow Work last year. 

Lets say a child that is 5 years old looks up to his father alot. They have a strong bond. One day the child falls on the ground and scrapes his knees, the child starts to cry, the father is a tough macho type of guy and says "Crying is for babies, man up! stop that! you keep crying you wont get ice-cream". The child gets embarrassed and shuts down his emotion to keep his bond with father. This happens over and over, subconsciously the child learns that not crying leads to good relations, not crying is manly, not crying to leads to pleasure, being a stoic tough guy becomes his surface personality. Crying and showing emotion becomes repressed.

Everything is going great until one day at 20 y.o he meets a girl, they fall in love, but the girl gets bored and unfulfilled because the guy doesnt know how to show emotion, everytime she cries he thinks she should man up! The girl leaves him because she feels so bad. 

Now the guy has a problem. What once saved him and had a purpose has become a problem. Why did she leave? I though being a stoic badass was cool? Now he has to look into that crying that he repressed... His shadow. How can he let himself feel again? Of course he doesnt want to do that so he goes from relationship to relationship running into the same problem each time. 

What you resist will persist. 

Edited July 23, 2020 by Rilles

[Max_V]

@Rilles How would you go about releasing such vows your psyche made and is built on? 

[Kross]

@Rilles  Thanks !

By the way, is it similar to what Leo talks about in this one (assuming you have seen the video) ? 

 

Edited July 23, 2020 by Kross

[Rilles]

1 minute ago, Max_V said:

@Rilles How would you go about releasing such vows your psyche made and is built on? 

Make a list of traits you absolutely hate, and find them in yourself. At first you will deny that theyre in you, but once you start your consciousness will crack up open like a coconut when you realize how diverse you personality actually is. 

1.Traits

2.Journal about them, why do you hate it? Have you ever expressed this trait? etc Be creative.

Its been a while since I did it, Dark Side Of The Light Chasers is a fantastic book if you want more info and tons of exercises. 

 

[Rilles]

3 minutes ago, Kross said:

@Rilles  Thanks !

By the way, is it similar to what Leo talks about in this one (assuming you have seen the video) ? 

 

Similar but not entirely the same. Shadow Work is way deeper. Im surprised Leo still hasnt made a video specifically on that. 

[Toby]

To me "shadow work" is about integrating the human side. Ways to "do" this are the Enneagram, trauma therapy like somatic-experiencing or narm, processes like the work from byron Katie.

[wwhy]

You know the saying "so and so has issues". Or "he has daddy issues".

We all have emotional and mental issues of some sort, that prevent us from growing, being our best selves and finding happiness. These issues are caused by early childhood event that left us scared with limiting beliefs about ourselves and the world and/or repressed negative emotions. Shadow work is the process of facing up to, and resolving those issues. Emotions for example, can be resolved by fully feeling them, and then letting them go. Emotions are messages from your deeper mind, and when they are ignored, repressed or unacknowledged, they don't don't vanish into thin air. They go into hibernation (the shadow), and show up randomly from time to time waiting for that acknowledgement. An if you haven't done much shadow work then each time they surface, they just end up creating similar traumatic events, growing stronger like a snowball rolling down a hill.

So shadow work involves a lot of allowing yourself to feel all that pain, revisiting those childhood events as a more developed adult and re-interpreting them, which can break the hold of those very stubborn, deeply ingrained limiting beliefs.