Jai

Spiritual Review and Progress

482 posts in this topic

Jun 8

One good thing that happened today was enjoyed seeing coworkers at work

Gratitude: landlord cut the lawn, comments on my coding, nice conversation with a friend

+ spiritual practice: good morning session. this is so regular it doesn't feel like it's enough even though I put aside 30 minutes. would like to do more but that's my schedule now

+ attitude of service: decent outward energy, not stuck in self. trying to contribute at work which is the orientation to have

+ mental and emotional states: generally in a good spot, although feeling a little dull at work lately. I'm lest motivated now that I got my sights set higher. Plus i'm just on a computer so much that I begin to dull out mid day. i defintiely need to reconnect with my goals and trust that i'm on a good path.

+ life habits: really good here. got some good exercise in after work. went on a great bike ride. i think everyday after work i need to do a nice bike ride. the benefit is getting outside. in the winter i can get in the gym. for now i'll just ride my bike. there is a nice hill by my house. i'm thinking i can just climb the hill over and over again to get a good workout

overall a solid day. but feeling dull at work isn't a benefit. i really want to code more and part of me wants to find a different part time job where i'm not on a computer to put all my mental energy in to coding. the problem is that this is good experience and although i'm not making a lot of money i'm saving money in this situation. i can contribute to the 401k for pre tax contributions. so it's a good situation that i should be grateful for. although i also know how much effort i could give in my studies if only i had more time. i think here i guess i need to be patient and just keep doing what i;m doing. a second year here would be really good. i think i could put a second year in and then try to make a jump. anyway, as long as i really trust god i'll be good. i know i'm working hard and there will be good things coming my way.

moved forward today

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Jun 9

One good thing that happened today was I got some help at work from someone in a different department, was really nice to have that support.

Gratitude: more interest in my studies, summer is truly here, parking spot in the shade

+ spiritual practice: not much to comment on, I'm really consistent. my m-f practice is pretty much alwasy the same. would like more time to do more, just not possible now.

+ attitude of service: pretty good here. got a bunch of stuff done at work, trying to be helpful to others

/ mental and emotional states: good effort on my part in a lot of areas, but also need imporvement in others. first I was able to really keep god on the forefront of my thought. several times during the day i reconnected and was keeping thy will not mine be done on my mind. so really good there. still felt dull today though. just on the computer a lot. mentally putting a lot of effort so i fade in the afternoon. also i felt upset at work over difficulty. i have some resentment about a coworker. not major, but still problematic because i notice it. i actually think getting on campus and actually meeting people will help. so i definitely want to improve this. i find myself being critical mentally and that is no way to go. so i'm asking god to reorient my thoughts here.

+ life habits: good here. another solid day all around. cold showers are becoming easier now that summer is here. compared to winter the water is quite nice

glad i got this friday off. just have to finish the week strong tomorrow. feeling spread a little thin. i might take tomorrow mornign off from coding and just meditate more and go for a walk. not sure. regardless going to enjoy the weekend and still get a bunch done for coding. i'm working hard and life is going good so i want to keep this going. big thing is to stay positive and to not get in a hurry with coding. it's going to take whatever it will take to learn it. 

moved forward today

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Jun 10

One good thing that happened today was i went on a nice group bike ride that meets up on thursdays

grateful for: tomorrow off, a problem at work got solved, keeping the windows open at night when I'm sleeping for a breeze

+ spiritual practice: good here. nice morning session. have tomorrow off so i want to do a couple sessions

+ attitude of service: did have better energy at work and a better attitude toward doing service. i should always keep looking out for opportunities to be helpful

+ mental and emotional states: big thing was I ddint feel dull today at work. that was nice. i still got up early and studied. then went in and had a good day. was mostly positive and connected. just not being drained made a big difference. for whatever reason i didn't hit a lull in the midday. so i hope i can keep giving full effort and have good days like this. overall trying to live a day at a time here, focus on keeping a good orientation for the day. at the same time just seeing the benefits of being really active here.

+ life habits: good here also. cold showers really feeling nice now that summer is here. it's hot out and the water is still cold, but not like january. better exercise today. that is the one area that i need to improve and get more excited about. need to start training hard in that area.

Solid day overall. excited about studying tomorrow. i'm working hard and building a nice future. i'm sacrificing a lot but life actually still feels pretty good.

moved forward today

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Jun 11

grateful for: landlord fixed up our lawn with nice plants, met someone new at a meeting, day off

one good thing that happened today was i saw some guys surfing in the river. they have a kayak course in the river that makes waves and some people surf it. it was nice to watch them

+ spiritual practice: good here . had a nice mega session. 70 minutes of straight breathwork, meditation, chanting. I felt really connected and solid. one of the top sessions this year. so this was a highlight of they day. i should be doing more of this on days off and weekends

- attitude of service: kind of stuck in self today. meditation was great but then after i had an off day. so i was mostly in my own problems and not contributing. i didn't have an outward energy, just mostly self absorbed in my problems. so want to bounce back tomorrow

- mental and emotional states: i was thrown off by my study session not going all that well. i literally don't want to ever take days off from studying. Usually i have a really high performance. but today i was just off. i think i need to take a day off once and awhile to refresh. my brain wasn't really working all that well. should've went and did something else all day. i tried to force it some but then i ended up doing other stuff. anyway this threw me off. i was anticipating a really solid day and it didn't happen

/ life habits: a mix. ate some processed food today which was bad. other things were strong generall

Overall it was a weird day. studying is really important to me and i want to utilize every day off to the fullest. so it was frustrating to not have a good day and it threw me into a mini funk. i probably should've just went out to the mountains to hike. i do recognize that i really have to make the most of this summer and study as much as possible. but i need to keep high performance up and part of that is probably taking a full rest day every so often. also just have really high sexual energy because of my retention streak which is around 80 days. so on an off day i felt more tense and tightly wound. still going to get to this goal of 90 days. almost there. that will have a good sense of accomplishment.

still moved forward today.

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Jun 12

one good thing that happened today was had a nice conversation with someone after the meeting

grateful for: merged perfectly into heavy traffic, enough time to go home and change before meeting, got a message from an old friend

+ spiritual practice: good here, nice morning session to start my day

/ attitude of service: generally pretty good. did feel a little overwhelmed with tasks sometimes. important to just relax a bit, contribute what i can and stay positive. there will always be stuff to do. so i want to get back to a service first attitude

+ mental and emotional states: good here never fell into negativity or fear/doubt/worry/regret, etc. so that's good. i did feel a little worn and dull later in the day though. generally though i'm on a really nice streak overall

+ life habits: good here. only got a little exercise in but that's better than nothing. i'm liking summer and being outside a lot. i want to enjoy it now because i know winter is coming. this winter i'll get really involved in some things for sure like they gym or something but for now i got to take advantage of being outside

another solid day overall. only complaint really is being single. i'm just really busy, don't have a big social life and any time i try to put effort in dating it rings hollow. so i'm not sure of the way forward here. i've liked it when i've dated in the past. i'd like to have a girl in my life but some of the effort just feels like a distraction. anyway i guess i have to be ready in case i end up meeting someone or having some sort of opportunity here. maybe i'll end up getting back online even though i really don't like that. i never really see that many girls in day to day life so it doesn't really feel like there are many opportunities there. anyway, can't let this drag me down. i'm building a nice future for myself and i'm sure that will be a part of it.

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Jun 15

I think I didn't save a couple posts or something, I haven't missed any days tracking my progress and there's a gap. Or I might have just gotten a date wrong and just kept looking at the journal and not the actual date. Anyway.

One good thing that happened today was the ac at work is on. It's hot and it's nice to have ac.

grateful for: having goals I really believe in and embrace, slower ends of the day at work, interesting street I biked down today found a place to bike by the railroad tracks

+ spiritual practice: morning session is strong. no longer have lunch sessions since I'm at work. after work it's exercise and dinner and then do a review and bedtime. so i really put God first but still wish i had more time. one day i think i will. for now this is the best given the circumstances. 30 minutes int he morning. this keeps me sustained and connected

+ attitude of service : better outward energy today. also have had a good streak of thinking 'thy will not be done' during the day. more frequently i'm thinking this to properly orient myself. the idea is that if God is the center then i have a good orientation toward service. i want to keep the idea that God works through me.

+ Mental and emotional states: pretty good here. only problem is mentally i'm drained by the time the afternoon comes. so fatigue catches up with me and I lose a little zip. never really fell in to negativity though. my days are really strong overall here. Only a few off days a month

+ life habits: cold showers are actually pretty easy now. compared to winter it's refreshing. and water is only getting warmer. but water will get cold again and winter will come and then it will suck lol. but I see the progress between now and this time last year with cold showers. my body is trained and my mind as well. last year at this time it was still pretty tough to get into cold showers.

overall a strong day. i'm really making progress each day. i may be a long ways from my goals but i'm working hard and progressing. i'm bringing God into my life every day and just trusting God. I also haven't taken my foot off the gas. It's been 14 months straight of true spiritual dedication. I want to keep this up and then see what my life looks like after 3 years of growth

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Jun 16

one good thing that happened today was I had some soda water in the fridge when i thought there was none left, was nice to drink a soda water after work

grateful for: parents that help me,  achance to travel the world a lot, a chance to be helpful today at work

+ spiritual practice: nice morning meditation/prayer session as always

+ attitude of service: there were some nice opportunities today at work. really helped to make a coworkers life easier. so really good action here. decent outward energy, always an opportunity to work and try to orient my thoughts toward God and others - that's not always consistent obviously but generally doing good here

/ mental and emotional states: feeling dull and worn out. Going to sleep in some tomorrow. not energized today or really optimistic. just feeling a little off here. not that anything is wrong, just I'm worn out some

+ life habits: pretty good here. everything is in place.

overall: a tougher day today. I'm feeling worn out. truthfully i'm putting in tremendous effort in all areas of life. I feel like i'm operating close to full capacity, consistently over 90%. Just too much screen time on the computer is wearing my down. my habits are awesome and energize me: wake up 4am on weekdays, 5 or 5:30 on weekends, i take cold showers, been going on nice bike rides, my prayer and meditation is really strong. i'm 85 days + on retention. everything is super put together. only problem is that i'm worn out from all the work and study. 40 hours work weeks and 18 hours studying. so lots of computer time. it's got me worn out. tomorrow i'm taking a day off. then i'll hopefully feel fresh. problem is also that i really want to study more. work is getting in the way lol. i think i want to stick it out another year at work. it's responsible. my computer course is a long haul sort of thing anyway. when i get closer to the end then i can make a jump and study more. for now i think i just need to be patient. anyway will probably feel fresher tomorrow. i'm glad my life is really in order though. weekdays i basically have everything scheduled from 4am to 8pm when i go to bed. i know if i put God first and give maximum effort close to 100% as possible things will go well for me.

moved forward today

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Jun 17

one good thing that happened today was I chatted with a coworker

grateful for: all the fresh fruits and veggies at the grocery store, a good podcast, taking a day off from studying to get my energy back up

+ spiritual practice: good here, i had an extra long session today which was nice for a weekday. also listening to a spiritual podcast keeps me oriented well.

/ attitude of service: generally good overall but fell short when i got a small resentment at a request. i really couldn't help with this and someone asked me again and i got a small resentment. sometimes need to chill on things like this. i don't want my first reaction to be negative. so i can improve here becasue sometimes my first reaction is negative

+ mental and emotional states: really good today. i needed a morning off from studying to get a little extra rest and go to work a little fresher. i don't want to take breaks but I think i have to. just too much screen time. so this was a good strategy and I was much more connected and positive from the start

+ life habits: good here. i'm living really clean and that's nice. feeling good about the discipline i have and how i'm maxing things out.

much better day today overall. i probably need to start planning for days off. maybe weekends i need a day off from screen time. problem is that the weekend is my best opportunity to get a lot done. maybe just midweek mornings off would be enough. regardless i felt more connected today. i got to find a way to really enjoy the present also. i'm motivated by the future but also got to appreciate today and live in gratitude

moved forward.

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Jun 18

one good thing that happened today is it's friday and i sat out on my porch just now and relaxed. glad its the weekend

grateful for having a good attitude today, nice coworkers, nice after work bike ride

+ spiritual practice: good here, had a nice chanting session a shortwhile ago. felt good to chant again. maybe i should try to work this in some even on busy days. overall my effort here has been consistent

+ attitude of service: really took an opoortunity to be helpful. glad i did that today. example of what i should be doing. a coworker needed some help so i tried to be really helpful. i was quick to volunteer to do this and this is how i should be doing this

/ mental and emotional states: i got worn out again in the afternoon. i was just tired and dull. my brain is sometimes just overwhelmed by the screen time between studying and work and the mental effort I'm really putting forth. so tomorrow or sunday i'm going to spend some good time outside.

+ life habits: sticking to the path. just really living clean and feeling good about this. been consistent here. always little habits to improve but overall i've been doing great

today was another somewhat uphill day. just because of mental fatigue. i want to study more but my brain can't handle it. work i'm on the computer a bunch and i just get worn out. then i feel dull and disconnected. i've been on a 3 months streak of going really strong. day in and day out literally giving 90% or more effort, really close to max on a lot of days. so this is forcing me to get stronger. also still have to back off from time to time and recharge the batteries. so this weekend i think i have to maybe back off a little bit on the screen time. other than that solid day in action and my orientation toward God and the world.

moved forward today

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Jun 19

One good thing that happened today was I took a swim in this creek in the mountains, felt great the water was really cold and energized me

grateful for: day off, good conversation with a friend, made it to retention goal

/ spiritual practice: okay, but not great for a day off. didn't really have a robust spiritual practice

/ attitude of service: not the best outward energy today. felt a little dull, not really engaged like i normally should be

/ mental and emotional states: a little critical here, a little in doubt, a little in a rush. the last one has been true lately. i feel like I want to rush to whatever is next. wasn't really energized with positivity today. so off a little here also

/ life habits: not where I expect them to be. poor internet use on my phone was the big one. some things good, but others were off.

Interesting day. Felt a little off. I did make it to my retention goal of 90 days. It was tough but I made it. Some of the time moved by well. I definitely was able to develop some discipline doing this. It feels good to know that I can control my sex drive for that long. Some day I want to spend some time in a temple so I'm glad i have this ability. Also though I'm glad it's over and I've made it. I feel tightly wound sometimes. I don't feel as energized as at the beginning, that's worn off. The big thing is to never go back to porn. That's really the only truly negative thing. So just have to avoid that. In general just somewhat frustrated and lonely with my dating life. In the past it was nice to meet people, now it seems like such a chore. Part of it is living in this small city. that kinds of limits things. I'm also out of the habit of talking to girls - because basically it's hard to find anyone to talk to since there isn't much to do. But sure enough I missed out on an opportunity today. It's like I never really see girls to talk to and I finally see one and I'm just out of the habit and passed on it. Online isn't much better. But I probably got to do something and take some action. So that's about it today. Glad I made the retention goal going forward I'll practice some good discipline here but not go on such long streaks because I end up getting tightly wound.

a little off but still moved forward.

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Jun 20

One good thing that happened today was I had some fun studying. it's nice when it's fun. It's satisfying to learn something new and understand it. So as long as it stays rewarding I'll stick with it

grateful for: more mellow energy, more contact with other online students, haircut looks good (even though I cut it myself)

/ spiritual practice: okay, but not the highlight of the day. didn't really have a mega session like I would've liked. so this weekend passed without a mega session. ready to go into the week with the same consistency tho

+ attitude of service: much better outward energy today. not really stuck in my own problems. had a better orientation toward contributing to life and engaging

+ mental and emotional states: good here. was pretty positive and optimistic. much more mellow after ending the 90 day retention streak. I was tightly wound. still want discipline in that area but also don't want to be tightly wound. overally much more mentally engaged and directed.

+ life habits: for the most part good. didn't set an alarm but benefited from some extra sleep. got a lot of studying in tho. even tho i woke up a little later. still got a lot done because i was positive, had a good day, etc.

Solid day today. feels good to make some progress with studying and feel like i'm starting to understand things. today also shows how nice things are when i feel connected, energized, positive. i'm much more efficient and feel better about everything that gets done. shows the importance of taking a break once in awhile. i need to recognize when i should take some time off to come back fresh. i'm ready to go into the week ahead. i have friday off which is nice. probably a good idea on my 3 day weekends to have a day completely free from computer time. maybe free from studying in general. i could still hit my hours goal and stay positive. really important to stay connected and positive

moved forward today

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Jun 21

One good thing that happened today was I got a big project done, feels good to have it done

grateful for: longest day of the year, good study session, saw someone for the first time in awhile

+ spiritual practice: good morning session, solid start to the day

+ attitude of service: pretty good outward energy today, good orientation toward trying to contribute

/ mental and emotional states: really solid most of the day but then I just got burnt out again. just feeling dull from all of the computer exposrue. so this is a bit of a drag and it's monday. glad I have off friday. I'm missing hour lunches where I can totally unplug. so gonna hope to feel fresh tomorrow. i can also probably dial it down a notch at work and just chill out a bit more.

+ life habits: pretty good here i'd say. i'd like to get in more exercise though.

good day overall. big thing is just feeling worn down again in the afternoon. tomorrow i'm going to dial it down a bit at work. i'm a little too intense. i think i'll be okay the rest of the week considering i have friday off. big thing is just the shift to my studies. that is more and more important. it's good to have a goal and feel motivated

moved forward today

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Jun 22

One good thing that happened today was had a good conversation with a friend

grateful for: good counseling appointment, nice walk after work, feeling God's presence

+ spiritual practice: good morning session as always to start the day. this is the consistency i need going forward. just stay consistent as always. don't have time for mega sessions but I do have 30 minutes every morning for God

+ attitude of service: got some good stuff done here at work to contribute

+ mental and emotional states: pretty good overall, just getting dull at work sometimes in the afternoon since i'm on a computer so much. I really just want to make a bunch of progress with studying so i have to adapt.

+ Life habits: good here also. strong habits are pretty norm now

Solid day overall. Day in and day out making progress. Got to do this for a few years and see where my life ends up. Can't get too caught up in work. My big thing is to focus on my studies. do a good job at work and contribute. save money and move forward. but if I keep studying coding I think i can make a nice jump and work remote. so want to keep working for that. eventually after i progress i think make a break and work part time and study full time.

moved forward today

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Jun 23

One good thing that happened today was I met with some coworkers in person which is nice

grateful for: working and saving money, place to park for free off campus, good podcast

/ spiritual practice: good job here with the morning session but I was distracted some so my concentration wasn't good and my thoughts were elsewhere

+ attitude of service: good job today trying to help others as best I can at work. i definitely got some stuff done today. so good effort here

/ mental and emotional states: i faded again in the afternoon. this is happening more frequently. I get tired mentally and dull. this lets me feel a little agitated. i want to study more but it's hard because I'm working a lot also and am on a computer. so i get worn out some. it's odd how this has become more frequent. I feel agitated when I'm dull like this. so i have off friday so i'm hoping that helps.

+ life habits: good here for the most part

solid day all around. just unfortunate that i'm getting worn out in the afternoons. other than that things are good. today was pretty good habits, pretty good actions. so just dipped in the afternoon.

moved forward today

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Jun 24

One good thing that happened today was we had a party for a co-worker

grateful for: have tomorrow off, didn't rain walking to my car, new co workers

+ spiritual practice: good morning session today. afternoon i'm spent so not much in the way of effort for an afternnon session. lately i've been feeling agitated and burnt out some after work

/ attitude of service: decent in some respects but I was feeling resentful at work. being a little upset took me away from a good attitude of service. but still had some good examples of service.

/ mental and emotional states: okay but still feeling dull and burnt out, especially in the afternoon. also was held back by resentment. first time in awhile I've had a resentment. I think it was all from a misunderstanding which was the source of why it came up. I think a good thing to do is to chill out on it for a bit. then i think reapproach the situation in a diplomatic way explaining the misunderstanding

/ life habits: slipped a bit here. ate some processed food which isn't good. didn't get an vigourous exercise in today just a walk.

a bit of a challenging day. what contributes to it is I am feeling dull and not energetic. all i really want to do is study. so i study a lot but it's caught up to me a bit. I'm not feeling really energetic. just feeling a bit dull. i've took a day off last week but I probably need a little more time off. problem is i really don't want to. i'm really enjoying studying. problem is i'm on a computer all day at work. so the screen time adds up. anyway, still have to get over the resentment and see that i'm being sensitive here. Even if it's a misunderstanding no reason to be sensitive.

moved forward today

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Jun 26

Missed yesterday written review which is rare. Still did reflection but was odd to miss an entry. Today was a decent day. Some good things, others not as great. Did a chanting and meditation session at the temple with the monks. Great way to start the day. Some day I really want to enter the temple as an unordained lay person but live as a monk basically for a year. I'd like to do that now but realistically I want to get my money situation really squared away first so I have freedom to do things like that. So smarter to wait. Other than that felt a little frustrated today. My goals seem far off. I've been a little frustrated at work. I feel burnt out from time to time. I feel a little lonely also from time to time. So the point is that the combination of these things can get me out of gratitude. They also prevent me from realizing the progress I'm making on the daily. So just have to stay focused and stay committed. In another year I'll be in a really good spot I believe.

+ spiritual practice: easy to feel like I did a great job when I go to the temple

/ attitude of service: okay in some senses but I also slid back into self. just was a little frustrated so that threw me off some. didn't have really strong outward energy

/ mental and emotional states: also a mix, but not the really super positive person I've been for the most part over the past year. so want to get back to the positivity

/ life habits: not the greatest either. diet wasn't all that strong. did a little exercise but I've been lacking there

still moved forward today

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Jun 27

One good thing that happened today was I had fun coding

Grateful for: great conversation with a friend of a friend, nice bike ride, got an app to save money at walmart

Turned the day around and finished strong. Have fallen in unskillful habits recently, checking my phone too much, poor diet choices, after hitting my retention goal of 90 days fapped too much this past week so low sex energy has detracted from my overall vitality. Good thing was I really finished the day strong and had some good habits. Also had some nice activities today and got some good studying done. So I'm ready to go into this week feeling strong. Tomorrow I'd like to get off to a good start to the week. I want to bring a fresh attitude to work. Have an attitude of service and to be optimistic. Live in gratitude and be energized about life. The foundation of all of this is God, on top of that have some good habits and try to build a nice life. So this past year has went fantastic, I can't give up now and take my foot off the gas. Have to stay on top of it.

+ spiritual practice: a couple shorter meditations, good but not a mega session. still good effort here

/ attitude of service: stuck in self in the morning, but got better outward energy in the afternoon. want to keep this for tomorrow

/ mental and emotional states: came back around to my positive and optimistic self

/ life habits: same thing, finished the day strong

moved forward today.

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Jun 28

One good thing that happened today was I got some really good sleep last night

grateful for: a tasty dinner I made, feeling more caught up at work, feeling more confident with my studies

Pretty good start to the week. But I'm still feeling burnt out in the afternoon. That's been tough lately. Been feeling burnt out and dull mentally. So I'm less energetic and optimistic. Not sure how to counteract this, it's just a result of putting forth a lot of energy. Lately I've even studied a little less each week. I don't want to give up studying since it is pretty much my favorite thing to do now. I'm really understanding coding more so it's becoming something I look forward to. Other than that being back in work has helped me get rid of a resentment. Not a big deal but I want to have low tolerance for this stuff. I don't want something minor to derail my progress. Could also be I'm just operating at a lower level since I'm dull and more susceptible to things like that. Either way I want to keep up the good effort tomorrow.

+ spiritual practice: good morning session

+ attitude of service: good outward energy today, felt like I was more active in trying to be helpful to others

/ mental and emotional states: everything was good but I felt kind of dull. this affects my optimisim, connection, etc. Haven't walked out of work feeling connected in awhile. Been feeling more dull. Need to find a way to counteract this

+ life habits: pretty good here

moved forward today

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Jun 30

One good thing that happened today was a nice conversation with a friend on the phone

grateful for: nice bike ride, slept in to get my energy back up, good podcast to listen to

Another somewhat difficult day. I feel a little tension at work with a supervisor and I'm not sure why this is. I think I need to communicate better and just approach this situation next week and discuss it. I'm not exactly sure what I'm doing wrong but there is definitely tension and I want to solve that. I've tried to do a decent job at not being resentful and most of the year it goes well. Just recently though a couple things have come up where I've felt somewhat uncomfortable from the tension. It's a weird situation because my effort is good. I just think there are sometimes misunderstandings about some of the requests I get from other people or some of the tasks I'm working on. So I want to approach this in a good way and improve things. It's definitely a test of how things are going.

+ spiritual practice: good effort in the morning i'd say. so i'm doing it. it's just not the same or as strong as months ago when I could take time at lunch. but i still make this a priority each day

/ attitude of service: okay in action but also was a bit upset and lost some of the outward energy and desire to serve.

/ mental and emotional states: not as connected and don't have as much vitality recently. Lately I've been feeling less energized when compared to last summer. so if fell less connected to God and even though I'm on a good path I'm not as dialed in. Maybe some of the newness of my situation has worn off. regardless I want to feel more dialed in. i've been a little burnt out recently and I want to feel more excited about things.

/ life habits: all pretty good except for checking my phone and dumb websites

still moved forward today

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Jul 1

One good thing that happened today was I hung out with a good friend

grateful for ride to car, interesting tutorial, gift card for coffee

Another tough day. There is residual tension at work. Fortunately spoke to a friend about this. So that was good. I think a long weekend will help also. It does have me contemplating what to do. It is on my mind to focus on studying full time and work part time. I have to say that is a real possibility. I also think it would be a good idea to keep working more and saving money. I am getting more and more focused on my studies and tension at work is just pushing me in the direction of just fully comitting and going with as much effort as I can in that area. Just working part time to pay the bills. I don't want to have tension at work.

+ spiritual practice: good morning session although not feeling super connected from it

/ attitude of service: a little dull here today

/ mental and emotional states: a little thrown off my normal course. didn't feel as motivated or energized. taking some down time to regain my vitality and drive

/ life habits: okay but not great, again a little bit of down time to get back on track

moved forward today. although a tougher day. i can be defensive and sensitive over things so have to look at that. will be good to take some days off and then reflect on everything

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