bmcnicho

How much time should people spend together in a relationship?

5 posts in this topic

I'm currently 8 months into a relationship, and up until now we've been seeing each other 3 days a week.  Recently she was furloughed from her part time job, and my hours were cut from 5 days a week down to 3.  So now she wants us to spend more time together.  I agreed to increase it to 4 days last week, but now this week she doesn't think that's enough.  She told me she's jealous of her roommate who gets to she her boyfriend almost every day.

So I guess I'm just looking for some feedback on what seems reasonable.  Am I neglecting her because I want to have a few days to myself? 

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No way man. 

Living with a girlfriend, even getting a night to yourself is sometimes "too much". They say they miss you, or make you feel guilty to try and get you to stay, but really shes just being clingy and high maintenance. ( Not all girls are like this, obviously ) 

Even if you spent all your time together, it still wouldn't be enough. She isn't your top priority. YOU are.


"An unstable particle observed continuously whether it has decayed or not will never be found to decay!"

- George Sudarshan ( Quantum Zeno Effect )

Come with me, and you'll see, a world of pure imagination 

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I had the same situation with my previous gf, she wanted to spend all her free time with me.

Try to introspect and ask yourself what setup would be best for you. How many days do you need? 
Then... sit with her and have very honest conversation. Tell her that you want to spend time alone and give her reasons why. After that - compromise. 

Authenticity was always a solution for me. All shit I kept in me later on caused my breakup. Communication is crucial. 

This jealousy stuff sounds quite toxic, talk with her about it as well.  
Fingers crossed. 


"The portal is through silence into the heart, into the thoughtless, absolute, intuitive not-knowing"

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no man , its kool to want time for yourself.

Just relax, tell her she is being neurotic. 

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@bmcnicho
This is a highly individual matter. I don't think you should just do what others say, but sure advice from others can be useful.
In the end it boils down to what you really want and what you are ready to give, if you are not ready to give more and she doesn't accept that then you should part your ways. I don't see an issue though with spending as much time together as both partners want.

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