Day Zero

[Gladius]

Nice, I'm loving this kind of journal. It gives you a really concrete action plan to improve yourself. Congrats and keep it up!

[John Doe]

@Gladius Thank you, I appreciate your words of encouragement.

[John Doe]

Day 99:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): SUCCESS
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 3
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 2
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[John Doe]

Day 102:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): SUCCESS
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 4
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 3
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[Raptorsin7]

How do you define spiritual progress?

[John Doe]

@Raptorsin7 I previously had some convictions on that, but now I don't even know what that means, or how I can measure it. My ignorance seems to be far larger and more expansive than I previously had assumed, to the point where it is terrifying, really. This is after I had certain 'experiences', after around 10 weeks of meditation.

[John Doe]

Day 102:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): SUCCESS
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 2
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 2
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[Raptorsin7]

@John Doe It could be useful to create goals within your practice and track them. Like if you meditate for 10 days in a row, I would consider that spiritual progress

Also, have you seen @Nahm;s thread on using a dreamboard? That post is what sparked a major awakening for me, which was about 3 months ago, and since that thread my life has completely changed.

[Raptorsin7]

@John Doe No i would not consider myself enlightened. But i don't want to be fake humble and say i'm not far on the path. I've had peak experiences where i've felt bliss flowing through me, and everything in the world just made sense and it felt like a stream of insights flowing into my head. But i'm also not awake to infinite love and joy, which to me is most important haha so it's tough.

But i bet i can help with questions on the path, just take what i say with a grain of salt.

Also, i would consider myself to have an excellent eye as to who on the forum is worth listening to and has advice that can change your life. @Nahm is one of the few, and it's basically his job to enlighten seekers so i recommend talking to him too.

[Derek White]

21 minutes ago, Raptorsin7 said:

But i'm also not awake to infinite love and joy, which to me is most important haha so it's tough.

@Raptorsin7 Hey, have you tried Bhakti Yoga? It's all about love and joy plus it's super easy. 

Sorry to interrupt the thread.

[Raptorsin7]

@Derek White No problem. No i haven't, I really need to add new practices, i read some quote about how you have to evolve your practices as you awaken and it's really been true for me lately. I'll look into it thanks man.

[Raptorsin7]

@John Doe I actually had very similar concerns. I haven't fully transcended fear yet, i think for me next on the path is full ego death where it will feel like literal death, and i imagine there is where i will fully transcend fear.

During the peak experience i took LSD, and i was laying in my bed trying to relax and meditate. I just kept breathing and it just felt like my head popped and i felt like a weird oozing feeling coming from my third eye being popped open. 

So, there was fear of the unknown but it wasn't full on terror. I learning to relax and calm your self is most important. I know i've basically carried around chronic stress from a stage blue indian upbrining and i never addressed it because i thought it was normal. 

As far as fears of demons, hell etc i can't say i've fully transcended it yet. But i know i'm WAY less afraid of that stuff now as i've gone deeper in the path, then when i first started and realized that a lot of my old beliefs were not fully accurate. 

I think taking time to address the root of the fear is important. What happens prior to the fear taking over? Maybe there are beliefs about your past, family etc that you are afraid to deal with.

A useful exercise could be to fully imagine hell for yourself. Imagine the worst possible scenario you can imagine from your meditation, and then accept it. If you can accept the worst case scenario you can imagine then it will hold less power of you.

If there's one thing i've learned so far, it's that the path is good bro. Life is good. When we are afraid, scared etc it's because of thinking and our disconnection form the innate goodness that is within us.

TLDR: I had similar fears, but as i progressed on the path with psychs, meditation, coaching etc they just subsided without me actively addressing them.

[Raptorsin7]

14 minutes ago, John Doe said:

How would you reconnect to the innate goodness within? Are there any practical methods which you practice (apart from LSD)? Drop me your mediation practices/schedule (if you're okay with that).

I've actually been slacking on formal practices since my awakening on LSD. The practices are great to ground yourself, but i believe making changes in your life and your relationships is where most growth will occur. Like for example, i dropped out of law school recently, and i basically told one of my uncles, who's been a mentor to me for my whole life, to stop talking to me because i didn't like the way he viewed school and i didn't like advice he gave me. Now these aren't practices, but i've felt so much growth from these 2 things. 

The best practices imo are enlightenment coaching and psyhcs. Meditation, yoga etc are awesome but they need to be tailored so you are getting max benefit. Like prior to my awakening, which was like 3 months ago, i had been meditation for about 3 years. It was somewhat sporadic, but i was doing some days of like 3 hours of just minduflness meditation, plus yoga classes. But none of that got me close to the god feeling i got on LSD. So while practices were invaluable for me because they were part of the causal chain that got me here. I can't say that my success is because i was following strict practices. 

Right now i do like 30 minutes total of guided meditations, with some wim hoff breathing like 5 days a week. But i've meaning to make major changes to how i approach spirituality so i will likely have better info for you in the coming months.

My advice would be find a teacher and work with them as much as possible. Some of the stuff Nahm has taught me i would never have learned just being on the forum and meditating. It's important to work with an enlightenment master to help you, it will make your progress sooooooo much quicker.

 

Edited April 14, 2020 by Raptorsin7

[John Doe]

Day 108:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): SUCCESS
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 4
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 3
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[John Doe]

Got it, thank you @Raptorsin7

[John Doe]

Day 110:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): SUCCESS
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 2
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 2
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[John Doe]

Day 111:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): SUCCESS
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 3
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 2
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[John Doe]

Day 112:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): SUCCESS
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 3
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 3
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[John Doe]

Day 113:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): FAIL
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): SOBER
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 1
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 1
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: Unknown

Comments: None.

[John Doe]

Day 116:

1. Kriya Yoga Practice (SUCCESS/FAIL): FAIL
2. Sobriety Status (SOBER/RELAPSED): RELAPSED
3. Overall Self-Control Score (1 - 5): 1
4. Productivity Score (1 - 5): 1
5. Overall Spiritual Progress: No progress.

Comments: None.