Consilience

Results after abstaining from weed for 30+ days after daily use

13 posts in this topic

Caveat: Strictly speaking, I wasn't smoking daily, however some weeks were 7/7 while other 5-6/7 so basically daily. 

I've known for the past 2 years that one day I'd need to seriously cut back on my weed use. However, even in the midst of this addictive behavior, I always tried my best not to judge myself and instead, I tried to get as much value out of my experiences with weed as possible. And it feels like that's exactly what I did. Weed has given me quasi psychedelic states, insights into non-duality, and insights into my own emotions and subconscious mind. It truly has been a gift from Earth and it's the reason I got into spirituality at all. My former atheistic, rationally minded self was flabbergasted at how strange it was that consciousness could be altered to such a degree, and the philosophical implications thereof. This lead me down the path towards investigating "the hard problem of consciousness" which eventually had me watching "brains do not exist" from Leo and well... here I am haha. That all being said, while weed has been a spiritual ally on the path, it has its shadow side of addiction. 

However I realized I needed to transform my relationship to the substance... Because there was (and still is to a degree) a massive clinging to the substance. It's a subtle craving that I had, craving that always undercut my experience, particularly in the evenings, my favorite time to get lit... I think the sneakiness of the craving and addiction is what has been the most fascinating aspect to observe. Until I've stopped for this long, I don't think I realized just how MUCH I actually craved, how quickly the urge to go smoke drove my behaviors. It wasn't until I actively decided to stop did I start noticing the sheer volume of these microscopic, lightening fast urges to go get high. 

So after 30 days of no longer smoking after such heavy use, what have I observed? 

Benefits:

  • Clearer mind
  • More stable focus/attention
  • Less random thoughts while sober
  • More satisfaction with baseline consciousness 
  • Higher sensitivity with senses/perceptions (i.e. more overall mindfulness) 
  • Body feels incredibly more energetic during meditation
  • Feelings of Kundalini movement while sober 
  • More physical energy
  • Better sleep 
  • More willpower and discipline 
  • Meditation satisfaction has really ramped up since abstaining
  • Short-term memory feels more powerful
  • Can operate quite well off of less sleep
  • Dream more often and more powerfully 
  • Baseline happiness feels higher
  • Everything feels sharper, and higher resolution
  • Baseline consciousness feels more psychedelic 
  • My heart chakra has opened up substantially this last month (but this could have nothing to do with weed) 
  • Music sounds better sober 
  • More synchronicities while sober 

Negatives:

  • Less creativity with personal projects
  • Less random insights/discovery 
  • Less euphoria in life (but this could also be a positive?)
  • Less direct connection with my subconscious mind 
  • No more medical benefits (weed helps manage a chronic disease I have) 
  • Emotions are harder to investigate 
  • Missing the crazy presence and NOW'ness I get while high
  • Feel less connected with intuition

Where do we go from here?

I told myself when I stopped that I wouldn't get high again (with weed, LSD and mushrooms are still kosher lol) until January 1st. After having taken this much time away though, I'm not sure I'll be ready by then... We'll see.

From my pov, I still consider weed to be an amazing substance. Even though it can kinda energetically wreck the mind and body, and is definitely addictive, it has taught me so much about myself, about life, and about consciousness. It's helped carve out my particular journey through life in a multitude of ways. For some reason, I don't really think total abstinence is the direction I want to go with it. I can't really be sure what the optimal frequency of use would be, but the ability that weed has with connecting me to powerful intuition, subconscious thoughts and emotions and the creativity is something I do see genuine value in. However, I honestly think a frequency akin to 1-2x per month is the limit... I feel like more frequently and I'd run the risk of cravings returning. 

Conclusion

I just wanted to share my experiences with the community. Weed most certainly has powerful properties that I find useful for both life purpose work and spirituality. But god damn it's addictive... So you gotta be careful. I hope I can be successful with transforming my relationship with it into just another tool I occasionally use, akin to normal psychedelics, but I am open to completely letting it go if that's what I feel is best. Time will tell. 

Thanks for reading, I hope you found value for your own journey, and all thoughts are welcome. :) 

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hey man thanks for the report!
I am in a quite similar relationship with weed. And I am still getting huge benefits from it.
But as you said it I know the time will come when I have to cut back my use. How did you know its time?

also think that transforming your relationship with weed is the best way, as you said 1-2 a month.

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That's awesome man ! 

Using weed once or twice a month is the sweet spot for me. It becomes way more psychedelic when you do it so infrequently. 

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@acidgoofy Great question... I think just getting really really really sensitive to your own mind is step 1. By that I mean being able to make distinctions within your experience whether what you're doing has evolved into purely hedonism, or if you still feel an intuitive pull to use weed. For me, I started to see how the urges to get high were starting to be dominated by an under current of dissatisfaction with sobriety. Through meditation, I was able to start seeing the craving I was continually exposed to and how it was being reinforced through my weed use. So basically, when the suffering/dissatisfaction of craving outweighs the benefits you're getting, you'll feel the call to stop. 

The thing is, the call to stop can be a subtle energy... And easily missed. And forget about feeling that call to stop while high haha. I mean, usually when I got high I wasn't thinking about the ways weed harmed my health and mind. You really just have to be honest with yourself, and sensitive enough to the inner workings of your own mind to create the distinctions between craving and usefulness. Inquire: Why am I getting high? What do I genuinely get out of this? How is my continual use creating suffering and/or ignorance? How would my life be different if I let this go? 

But hey man, there is no judgment either way. Just trust your gut, but be sensitive enough to hear your own gut... if that makes sense. 

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4 minutes ago, fridjonk said:

That's awesome man ! 

Using weed once or twice a month is the sweet spot for me. It becomes way more psychedelic when you do it so infrequently. 

Oh nice :) That's cool that you feel this is an appropriate frequency. Do you feel urges to get high in the days following one of your sessions? 

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@Consilience Now I usually only do edibles, which can be very heavy the day after, adds kind of a mushroom vibe to it. So no i don't feel any urge after. But if i smoke then i usually have to stay careful of not falling into the habit again. ^_^

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hey you mentioned more synchronicities while sober, does this mean that you were primarily having them while high? Or just not much at all until you stopped?

 


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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@fridjonk I see! That makes sense... I might have to follow your edible protocol then. It's very interesting how edibles and smoking are both so similar, but so different haha. I appreciate the feedback.

 

2 minutes ago, seeking_brilliance said:

hey you mentioned more synchronicities while sober, does this mean that you were primarily having them while high? Or just not much at all until you stopped?

 

Yeah that was a little unclear. I have them more frequently while sober now, but I still used to have them sober. I also got them while high. Crazy shit would just fall into place and I'd feel like it was even more profound because I was baked :D

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@Consilience wow our stories have really aligned. I have almost the exact same relationship with weed as you have described, but still enjoy it so much to quit... yet. I took about 3 weeks off this summer and honestly didn't notice much except being more content with being sober. Dreaming has been mostly unaffected. my memory is great. synchronicites out the wazoo.. even while sober  but I wonder if with daily use if you are really ever sober...


Check out my lucid dreaming anthology series, Stars of Clay  

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2 hours ago, Consilience said:

Caveat: Strictly speaking, I wasn't smoking daily, however some weeks were 7/7 while other 5-6/7 so basically daily. 

I've known for the past 2 years that one day I'd need to seriously cut back on my weed use. However, even in the midst of this addictive behavior, I always tried my best not to judge myself and instead, I tried to get as much value out of my experiences with weed as possible. And it feels like that's exactly what I did. Weed has given me quasi psychedelic states, insights into non-duality, and insights into my own emotions and subconscious mind. It truly has been a gift from Earth and it's the reason I got into spirituality at all. My former atheistic, rationally minded self was flabbergasted at how strange it was that consciousness could be altered to such a degree, and the philosophical implications thereof. This lead me down the path towards investigating "the hard problem of consciousness" which eventually had me watching "brains do not exist" from Leo and well... here I am haha. That all being said, while weed has been a spiritual ally on the path, it has its shadow side of addiction. 

However I realized I needed to transform my relationship to the substance... Because there was (and still is to a degree) a massive clinging to the substance. It's a subtle craving that I had, craving that always undercut my experience, particularly in the evenings, my favorite time to get lit... I think the sneakiness of the craving and addiction is what has been the most fascinating aspect to observe. Until I've stopped for this long, I don't think I realized just how MUCH I actually craved, how quickly the urge to go smoke drove my behaviors. It wasn't until I actively decided to stop did I start noticing the sheer volume of these microscopic, lightening fast urges to go get high. 

So after 30 days of no longer smoking after such heavy use, what have I observed? 

Benefits:

  • Clearer mind
  • More stable focus/attention
  • Less random thoughts while sober
  • More satisfaction with baseline consciousness 
  • Higher sensitivity with senses/perceptions (i.e. more overall mindfulness) 
  • Body feels incredibly more energetic during meditation
  • Feelings of Kundalini movement while sober 
  • More physical energy
  • Better sleep 
  • More willpower and discipline 
  • Meditation satisfaction has really ramped up since abstaining
  • Short-term memory feels more powerful
  • Can operate quite well off of less sleep
  • Dream more often and more powerfully 
  • Baseline happiness feels higher
  • Everything feels sharper, and higher resolution
  • Baseline consciousness feels more psychedelic 
  • My heart chakra has opened up substantially this last month (but this could have nothing to do with weed) 
  • Music sounds better sober 
  • More synchronicities while sober 

Negatives:

  • Less creativity with personal projects
  • Less random insights/discovery 
  • Less euphoria in life (but this could also be a positive?)
  • Less direct connection with my subconscious mind 
  • No more medical benefits (weed helps manage a chronic disease I have) 
  • Emotions are harder to investigate 
  • Missing the crazy presence and NOW'ness I get while high
  • Feel less connected with intuition

Where do we go from here?

I told myself when I stopped that I wouldn't get high again (with weed, LSD and mushrooms are still kosher lol) until January 1st. After having taken this much time away though, I'm not sure I'll be ready by then... We'll see.

From my pov, I still consider weed to be an amazing substance. Even though it can kinda energetically wreck the mind and body, and is definitely addictive, it has taught me so much about myself, about life, and about consciousness. It's helped carve out my particular journey through life in a multitude of ways. For some reason, I don't really think total abstinence is the direction I want to go with it. I can't really be sure what the optimal frequency of use would be, but the ability that weed has with connecting me to powerful intuition, subconscious thoughts and emotions and the creativity is something I do see genuine value in. However, I honestly think a frequency akin to 1-2x per month is the limit... I feel like more frequently and I'd run the risk of cravings returning. 

Conclusion

I just wanted to share my experiences with the community. Weed most certainly has powerful properties that I find useful for both life purpose work and spirituality. But god damn it's addictive... So you gotta be careful. I hope I can be successful with transforming my relationship with it into just another tool I occasionally use, akin to normal psychedelics, but I am open to completely letting it go if that's what I feel is best. Time will tell. 

Thanks for reading, I hope you found value for your own journey, and all thoughts are welcome. :)

Nice bro. Yes, it's very addictive. Like, after just months after I began smoking weed for the first time, I came across Mooji. I did his meditation stuff, days after I was thrown into a unexplaineble supernatural spiritual realm. Had my fun there. 

I still smoke, but very much less now. I smoke only to meditate and inquire, becoming more conscious and more in the Now. Weed IS a psycadelic, just a weak one. But with the spiritual work on the side, it can and will become a miracle of itself. 

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Good job. I smoked weed for 5 years (October 2011-April 2017) and liked it very much. I always had stronger high than my friends, although I always had less puffs than them. I was super creative and relaxed. So much that even other people were mentioning “hey you are genius”. But the discoveries I made during the high had no effect when I was sober. That is why I dont understand people why they do psychedelics to progress in spiritual journey. I only knew the discoveries at intellectual level when I was sober, I did not feel them, did not “see” them. As soon as I was sober I was back to shit.

But eventually weed stopped making me relaxed and happy, and just gave me paranoia, dysphoria and other negative feelings (I had several psychological crisis, some of which I cant explain with language). After several tries and feeling horrible each time I stopped weed completely. Alcohol also was making me feel horrible so I also quitted alcohol.

I have been completely sober for 2 years now. What has changed in me? In terms of feelings, I feel the same shit ?. But in terms of discipline there is improvement.

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7 hours ago, seeking_brilliance said:

but I wonder if with daily use if you are really ever sober

It took me about a week to feel totally sober. Interesting that our stories are so similar though... good luck on your journey with da bud ?

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@Buba wow congrats on the sobriety ? Yeah I mean at the end of the day, it is all kinda the same shit haha. But it’s beautiful shit... and it can be beautiful without drugs as Im sure you’ve seen!

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