Sexual desires.

[Psyche_92]

Hello,

I've been having struggles dealing with my urges for sex for a long time now, and i feel like it's holding back my personal growth.

I have not been honest with myself for a while, and deep down i think i want to experiment with multiple partners and have some fun for a while, but i've been rationalizing it for ages. 

I'm also not sure where to start with this, and i'm using my unemployment status as an excuse for not being date-able or pursuing a "fling", and this way i'm putting it off ( i think ).

How should i go with this? How do i find out my real desires? 

 

 

[Gili Trawangan]

You've answered your own question. Go meet some girls and enjoy yourself.

[Psyche_92]

3 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

You've answered your own question. Go meet some girls and enjoy yourself.

I don't know where to start. I have not been to any clubs or bars in ages and i'm not really interested in that anymore. I don't even have real friends anymore as i'm comfortable with myself. 

Also as i said, i feel like my unemployment status is off putting, even for a fling or one night stand.

[bejapuskas]

@Psyche_92  Meditate, quit masturbation as well. These you need to do together, because they are hard to do on their own. Then you will become naturally better with girls and in your career as well, as your productivity will likely increase.

[Gili Trawangan]

22 minutes ago, Psyche_92 said:

I don't know where to start. I have not been to any clubs or bars in ages and i'm not really interested in that anymore. I don't even have real friends anymore as i'm comfortable with myself. 

Also as i said, i feel like my unemployment status is off putting, even for a fling or one night stand.

Daygame. You don't need friends, a job, bars or clubs to pick up girls. Just walk up to a pretty girl on the street and talk to her. Actually, talk to as many as you can.

After you've approached a hundred girls I can give you some theoretical pointers if you want

[Psyche_92]

38 minutes ago, bejapuskas said:

@Psyche_92  Meditate, quit masturbation as well. These you need to do together, because they are hard to do on their own. Then you will become naturally better with girls and in your career as well, as your productivity will likely increase.

I'm already doing that :). 

[Psyche_92]

43 minutes ago, Gili Trawangan said:

Daygame. You don't need friends, a job, bars or clubs to pick up girls. Just walk up to a pretty girl on the street and talk to her. Actually, talk to as many as you can.

After you've approached a hundred girls I can give you some theoretical pointers if you want

Yea that's a little bit outta my comfort zone. Right now i'm not outside that much. I go outside for groceries and job interviews, and beside that the only place i visit is the library ( haven't seen a lot of girls there yet).  

[Gili Trawangan]

Outside of your comfort zone is where you want to go.. IF you want things to change. I understand that it might seem overwhelming but it's absolutely worth it if you try. Good luck, with whatever you end up doing.

[flowboy]

Outside your comfort zone is where it's at. The sooner you realise that, the better!

No growth possible without doing scary things. Sorry, that's just the beauty of it!

You'll want to get comfortable with a certain level of discomfort. Not stressing and burning out completely, but also not stagnating. Find the level of uncomfortable you can handle, and play around there until your comfort zone stretches.

Can you go up to a girl you like and only say hi?

If not, you can start with people you don't feel attracted to. Can you do that?

[Psyche_92]

14 hours ago, Gili Trawangan said:

Outside of your comfort zone is where you want to go.. IF you want things to change. I understand that it might seem overwhelming but it's absolutely worth it if you try. Good luck, with whatever you end up doing.

 

13 hours ago, flowboy said:

Outside your comfort zone is where it's at. The sooner you realise that, the better!

No growth possible without doing scary things. Sorry, that's just the beauty of it!

You'll want to get comfortable with a certain level of discomfort. Not stressing and burning out completely, but also not stagnating. Find the level of uncomfortable you can handle, and play around there until your comfort zone stretches.

Can you go up to a girl you like and only say hi?

If not, you can start with people you don't feel attracted to. Can you do that?

Yea i know i need to get out of my comfort zone more often. Don't know when that will happen though... I'm already doing other stuff instead like getting on Tinder and thinking about going to a hooker instead..

I'm such a pussy lol.

[bejapuskas]

@Psyche_92  Then talk to girls you meet while you are going to the library or job interviews, maybe when you are waiting at the traffic lights or something, I don't know, but I am sure you sometimes feel like you don't know whether you should talk to someone or not, so in this case just do it and flow with the conversation, you will naturally get better  

[flowboy]

11 hours ago, Psyche_92 said:

 

Yea i know i need to get out of my comfort zone more often. Don't know when that will happen though... I'm already doing other stuff instead like getting on Tinder and thinking about going to a hooker instead..

I'm such a pussy lol.

Oh you know what you have to do already? Then what's the point of asking?

Seriously.

Nobody here is going to kick you in the butt. That's going to be your job. Why don't you post progress reports here, instead of whining and playing the victim of your own shitty attitude.

We'd all be happy to be supportive when you're ready to take action.

Edited September 7, 2019 by flowboy

[Ampresus]

@flowboy Calm down on the guy man.

[PenguinPablo]

just go up to random people and say: "hi my name is @Psyche_92, what's your name?" start with this.