Manjushri

How to approach a classmate who doesn't talk to anybody?

5 posts in this topic

Posted (edited)

His facebook profile picture is > grim reapers meme with "I don't feel like existing anymore".  He doesnt have an add button for new friends.

Several classmates approached him and he was neutral -> negative. I would like to get past his shield.

Edited by Manjushri

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Sit next to him in class, and start by doing small talk. Pretend you missed something, and ask what the teacher just said, ask for an extra pen / eraser / whatever, just make sure it's something you actually don't have, so he doesn't feel weird, if you open a package of cookies, chips, or whatever, offer some to him first. Gradually increase the small talk, and take it from there ;)


"Es gibt die Wahrheit, mein Lieber! Aber die ,Lehre', die du begehrst [...], die gibt es nicht. Du sollst dich auch gar nicht nach einer vollkommenen Lehre sehnen, Freund, sondern nach Vervollkommnung deiner selbst."

- Herman Hesse, Das Glasperlenspiel

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On 6/5/2019 at 5:39 PM, Manjushri said:

His facebook profile picture is > grim reapers meme with "I don't feel like existing anymore".

That's some red flag stuff.

That will not be easy.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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The negativity is the shield, you can test out how strong it is. In doing so you'll probably find out a lot about how easily triggered you are by negativity. 

You could jump right in and tell him that you thought his Facebook profile picture was very eloquent and meaningful to you and talk to him about enlightenment and the real and profound reason that we want to cease to exist on some level. 


Light on Earth The power of love came into me,
and I became fierce like a lion,
then tender like the evening star.” - Rumi

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On 6/5/2019 at 8:39 PM, Manjushri said:

His facebook profile picture is > grim reapers meme with "I don't feel like existing anymore".  He doesnt have an add button for new friends.

Several classmates approached him and he was neutral -> negative. I would like to get past his shield.

This kind of behavior would signal to me he is crying out to be seen, noticed, and accepted.  

Positivity and humor are the best. They always disarm. Don't stop at just 1 attempt, and whatever he says in response, work with it to keep that bit of communication going. 

Another good strategy is to identify what his interests are and ask for his opinion on that. Works like a charm. People will babble for hours sharing their knowledge. Make him feel like an expert in that area. That will open him up to other exchanges once he starts to feel more comfortable. Very effective.

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