Confidence Issues

[The White Belt]

Hello.

So I'm currently travelling SE Asia and although not all the time I'm not speaking to as many people as I'd like and having pretty dry conversations. My self-actualizing journey seems to be alienating me somewhat and less enjoying my travels. I see people on here saying things like confidence is an illusion and not real and that's just messing me up more because then I don't try I just be natural but naturally I feel shy and unconfident. I'm trying to not sell myself for approval like Leo says in the 'how to stop caring what people thing about you' video but this leaves me out of conversation a lot. I'm better in one on one conversation but in group conversation I only speak when asked a question and then let everyone get on with it.

Please help,

thanks.

[The White Belt]

Let me add onto this.. 

 

Another thing messing me up is that I want to be more self expressive. I want to wear certain types of clothing and have a piercing and shit but then at the same time I don't want to create a false ego. I don't want to attach to something. But if you enjoy to wear something with out making it your ego isn't that fine? As long as I'm truly not trying to join a crowd but just be more liberating is that okay? The way I am I just feel like half a person floating around. I wear boring plain t shirts and barely talk about myself.

 

Thanks again

[QandC]

@BeginnerActualizer Sometimes you have to fake it until you make it. Even though you think that your "true" character is shy and whatever, that's not true. You only say that because your ego believes in false stories. Try doing this for a day: imagine that you're another person. Just wake up one morning, and say "I'm not me". Then do everything OPPOSITE of what you normally do. If you're conscious enough, you'll realize that the same voice that tells you "this isn't normal.. this isn't me.. blablabla.." is the same voice that makes you think you're not confident. 

You'll also discover that being confident is the easiest thing there is man.... but the day you started wasting your semen and your life force to porn and all of that shit, that's when you lost your essence as a man. If you don't harness your sexual energy first, then I feel sorry for you man.. what can I say..

[Joyboy]

Nature does not have attributes, it is what it is  dry, shy and unconfident is your perception. So, you want to be more confident, attractive, and interesting guy right? practice mindfulness/donothing meditation is my suggest. 

[MarkusR]

@BeginnerActualizer I understand you completely. I was earlier a very open, loud and social dude, but with my journey came this sort of distance with some people.

Personally though, I dont really see the problem, because with the people I am closest with, like good friends and family members I just naturally speak my voice, no thought input just expression. When it comes to other people I think it is time you start to pick and choose the people you want to be around, find more people that really enlighten and raise you, being shy and not wanting to express yourself may be a sign that you are hanging with a lower frequency group of people. 

[The White Belt]

Thanks for the reply guys. @Quizzer I especially like what you said. Just to fake it til I make it. If I have the choice between naturally being shy or forcing a bit of confidence to get results in self expression then I will do that. No idea what you were talking about sexual energy for though. That's totally unrelated.

[QandC]

@BeginnerActualizer About sexual energy.. that's just something I wanted to point out that you need to be aware of. It will help with your confidence issues

[Huz]

@BeginnerActualizer Look up NoFap in google - porn is majorly fucking you. Ironic Hey

Edited April 25, 2016 by Huz88