How Do I Know I'm Making Real Growth?

[kindayellow]

Okay so sometimes when I make posts on here, people question my growth and whether or not it's just a thing I believe theoretically but haven't actually made any real growth in that area.

 

Personally I believe I've made real growth in multiple areas of my life, but sometimes reading other people's advice makes me question it, that and I'm aware of how deceptive our minds are, so, how do I test my growth?

[Sahil Pandit]

@kindayellow What are the quality of your emotions?

What are the quality of your motivations?

 

[Salvijus]

It's when you look back at your past behaviour and think "damn i was so stupid to act like that" then you know that you've grown

Edited April 5, 2019 by Salvijus

[Equanimitize]

39 minutes ago, kindayellow said:

Okay so sometimes when I make posts on here, people question my growth and whether or not it's just a thing I believe theoretically but haven't actually made any real growth in that area.

 

Personally I believe I've made real growth in multiple areas of my life, but sometimes reading other people's advice makes me question it, that and I'm aware of how deceptive our minds are, so, how do I test my growth?

The best barometer to know if you are growing in my opinion is to look at your relationships. We are all interconnected, and when you start seeing people act differently, treat you differently, look at your differently, then you know you are growing.

You can really notice this especially if you have been in any sort of inauthentic quasi manipulative relationships, where the mechanisms by which people use to manipulate you no longer work. Of course they will complain and try and get you back to your "old you" so that it can benefit their own egoic desires-usually some dysfunctional means as to lift their own self-esteem.

Another way to tell if you are growing is if what you use to think was right today becomes wrong tomorrow. In other words if you're developing quickly what you said/learned yesterday is already expired and only partial. This means of course that you are learning and continually increasing your operating system and your level of consciousness and seeing things differently than the way you use to. 

Once you get going, and you start using mind movies, vision boards, life purpose, body/mind/spirit/relationship visions, goals, etc. you can actually look back and see how everything has come to fruition

If you have any sort of neurosis, you will know when you conquer this because it's like a 500 lbs. atlas stone has been lifted from your life. Of course homeostasis kicks in and you forget sometimes how much and how far you've come. 

Hope this helps 

[kindayellow]

@Sahil Pandit

Well when I first started my journey, June last year, I removed myself from toxic relationships with my girlfriend and friend group at the time. So without these things to distract me, I initially felt a big increase in negative emotions from what I'd been distracting myself from, since then I've been feeling more peaceful and fufilled with my life even though in ways, I have next to nothing going on in my life. And I'd say they're good, I distance myself from any extrinsic motivations and focus on intrinsic motivations.

[kindayellow]

@Shiva I have a little money, for someone of my age, but I don't care about that stuff, I have yet to make any new friends after cutting off my previous friend group, but that isn't important to me, tbh all the things you mentioned aren't important to me, what's important to me is how I feel, less material items or whatever

@Salvijus yes. All the time, I'm able to think about previous situations I've been in, and figure out why I acted the way I did and where that was coming from and how that isn't the way.

@Equanimitize first off, amazing reply

My relationships, I don't have many, but about the manipulative friend stuff oh my God, I read that and thought "oh my God yeah that's so true". Cutting off my friend group last June, they told me I was acting odd, and to "just fit in" with them. Straight outta there lol.

 

And yes over a day I'll sometimes manage to see things differently in some ways and have a different mindset and see through my way of thinking previously. This reply did help thank you! 

[Equanimitize]

Thank you, just wanted to add one more thing: more peak experiences will happen as well (Maslow talks about this), the more you move up the growth hierarchy- an overall feeling of well being your center of gravity of fulfillment & happiness will have a tendency to rise as well. This is subjective of course, and there is no way to actually measure this however you will know-when just being is a joy.

[kindayellow]

@Equanimitize I'm yet to have any sort of peak experience, it's more been a gradual rise, a slight dip recently actually, having a little ego backlash right now which I'm working on getting through. I've just recently finished working a temporary contract so I'm kinda just at home all day, so I'll like boredom eat and go on my phone way more than I should be. 

[Equanimitize]

19 minutes ago, kindayellow said:

@Equanimitize I'm yet to have any sort of peak experience, it's more been a gradual rise, a slight dip recently actually, having a little ego backlash right now which I'm working on getting through. I've just recently finished working a temporary contract so I'm kinda just at home all day, so I'll like boredom eat and go on my phone way more than I should be. 

I am sure you have had a peak experience at least some time in your life, where everything is all good-maybe you have to go back to childhood. It can range from what Mihaly Csikszentmihalyi calls flow or a full blown enlightenment experience. The more you develop yourself, the longer and wider these peak experiences become. 

I'd say just keep chipping away, and keep turning the wrench on yourself. You will get where you need to go. 

[kindayellow]

@Equanimitize oh okay, when I think of peak experience I was thinking of some sort of enlightenment experience as you also included. In that case then yeah I have peak experiences pretty often. When im walking my dog, and I get a good view and seeing my dog happy and what not, I feel very peaceful, and contempt, like I wouldn't want to change anything in that moment to make it better, I feel very connected with the earth I guess

[NoSelfSelf]