traveler

question for leo.

27 posts in this topic

I just watched your live enlightenment video, and I'm getting everything you say. I'm having the same thoughts. I made a post yesterday, and it's like I've shifted into this enlightened state without warning. Everything in my reality has shattered to pieces from one day to the next. I'm aware of the total oneness, that this post and me writing it in itself is part of it. I'm just not happy about it. I'm feeling lost and betrayed by the simplicity of our reality. That everything is nothing. That I'm you and your me. That everything and everyone I ever cared about is just a part of this infinite nature. That nothing really matters and it's all an illusion which stems from the nature and laws of nothingness. How can this realisation be good? How is it not more enjoyable living in ignorance? I'm lost.

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You need to go deeper. The shallow version of these insights can feel empty and hollow. The deeper versions of these insights are full love, beauty, joy, and radiance.

Deeper!

And also remember The Dark Night Of The Soul. You might be going through that phase. It will pass.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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Thanks for making this post, I had a super insightful mushroom trip this morning full of notes and notes, yet was left feeling a bit empty and hollow.  Look forward to the deeper insights that are full of love, beauty, joy, because these feel very matter of fact and dull


Comprehensive list of techniques: https://sites.google.com/site/psychospiritualtools/Home/meditation-practices

I appreciate criticism!  Be as critical/nitpicky as you like and don't hold your blows

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16 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

You need to go deeper. The shallow version of these insights can feel empty and hollow. The deeper versions of these insights are full love, beauty, joy, and radiance.

Deeper!

And also remember The Dark Night Of The Soul. You might be going through that phase. It will pass.

Do I go back into the lower consciousness though? It seems impossible when I have the knowledge that I have, to live a normal life. My sister has begun to notice the difference in me and it’s suffering like no other to be alone in a busy world without anybody who knows what you know.

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On 11/30/2018 at 7:49 AM, traveler said:

That nothing really matters and it's all an illusion which stems from the nature and laws of nothingness. How can this realisation be good?

That’s not an understanding, nor a realization, that’s why you’re intuiting it as “not good” aka (not Truth). It’s a ‘right thought’, but nonetheless, let it go completely. When nothingness is no longer a thought, but experience, everything literally flips. You will have the exact opposite perspective / experience, and it is ineffably wonderful, but you must begin the (possibly counter intuitive to you) letting go of every thought about ‘it’, to be ‘it’.  Just to hold a single thought, just to blink, is already too much. Hopefully you see what I’m saying by that. 

It’s more like the light suddenly came on, and the room’s a little messy. Use the light to clean up the room. Try to be glad the light came on, it’s lucky, though I hear you, it doesn’t feel that way...yet. 

 

http://www.buddhanet.net/oxherd1.htm


  Nonduality & Meditations          Have You Worked On Your Alone?

Empty your head, fill your heart.            

 

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5 hours ago, Nahm said:

 

That’s not an understanding, nor a realization, that’s why you’re intuiting it as “not good” aka (not Truth). It’s a ‘right thought’, but nonetheless, let it go completely. When nothingness is no longer a thought, but experience, everything literally flips. You will have the exact opposite perspective / experience, and it is ineffably wonderful, but you must begin the (possibly counter intuitive to you) letting go of every thought about ‘it’, to be ‘it’.  Just to hold a single thought, just to blink, is already too much. Hopefully you see what I’m saying by that. 

It’s more like the light suddenly came on, and the room’s a little messy. Use the light to clean up the room. Try to be glad the light came on, it’s lucky, though I hear you, it doesn’t feel that way...yet. 

 

http://www.buddhanet.net/oxherd1.htm

I’m 19 years old and my life has barely started yet, and I’m having this knowledge! I’m not ready to give up my family. I’m living with my parents! I was suffering before this shift in consciousness, but now I stand in the middle of ego and spirit. I have lost the old me from one day to another, and now I’m so lost in the truth of existance. I’m aware that I have to give up everything to achieve total enlightenment, but I’m not ready for that! How are my parents gonna react to the changes in me when they come back from vacation? How am I supposed to let my family go?! The thing is I feel I’m stuck. There so many expectations of me at this age from my parents, I don’t even have a job. How am I gonna navigate through my life, with this detachment from the illusion everyone is living in? 

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10 hours ago, traveler said:

Do I go back into the lower consciousness though? It seems impossible when I have the knowledge that I have, to live a normal life. My sister has begun to notice the difference in me and it’s suffering like no other to be alone in a busy world without anybody who knows what you know.

Of course you should try to maintain as high a consciousness state as much as you can.

This is transformation, this is growth. You will change and people around you will start to notice it and they will usually not like it because they expect you to be the old self. Become your new self anyways. Change requires the old dying to the new.

A metamorphosis must happen. You are the caterpillar turning into the butterfly. Other caterpillars will not understand your new butterfly form until they do it themselves.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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2 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

Of course you should try to maintain as high a consciousness state as much as you can.

This is transformation, this is growth. You will change and people around you will start to notice it and they will usually not like it because they expect you to be the old self. Become your new self anyways. Change requires the old dying to the new.

A metamorphosis must happen. You are the caterpillar turning into the butterfly. Other caterpillars will not understand your new butterfly form until they do it themselves.

My sister broke down and started crying because she doesn't understand the sudden change. I don't blame her. Is it really for the best to hurt everyone you care about, to attain enlightenment? Would it be wrong to go back to normal consciousness and wait for a better time in your life to pursue enlightenment? I feel like I've already learned a lot from my experience this far. That I should treat everybody, as I want to be treated myself, because everybody essentially is myself. I have had no appetite these 3 days of high consciousness, I only eat because I know that I'm supposed to eat. The truth takes over everything and I forget how to be a normal human being. I know it's my ego making all of these excuses to why I shouldn't keep pursuing, but I feel like I'm gonna remain in the middle of ego and spirit until I get away from the busy life of modern society. So why not try to emerge yourself into the illusion everybody is living, instead of walking the long, lonely, detached and suffering road of enlightenment? Would it be a disaster for me to do this, knowing within myself what life really is?

Edited by traveler

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29 minutes ago, traveler said:

My sister broke down and started crying because she doesn't understand the sudden change. I don't blame her. Is it really for the best to hurt everyone you care about, to attain enlightenment? Would it be wrong to go back to normal consciousness and wait for a better time in your life to pursue enlightenment? I feel like I've already learned a lot from my experience this far. That I should treat everybody, as I want to be treated myself, because everybody essentially is myself. I have had no appetite these 3 days of high consciousness, I only eat because I know that I'm supposed to eat. The truth takes over everything and I forget how to be a normal human being. I know it's my ego making all of these excuses to why I shouldn't keep pursuing, but I feel like I'm gonna remain in the middle of ego and spirit until I get away from the busy life of modern society. So why not try to emerge yourself into the illusion everybody is living, instead of walking the long, lonely, detached and suffering road of enlightenment? Would it be a disaster for me to do this, knowing within myself what life really is?

How are you acting differently that she cried?  You don't have to change your level of consciousness to communicate with them properly.  I began listening better, helping them get their feelings out more, and just not being quite as much of a douche, although still very much so.  Watch Moojiji or someone who is super spiritually advanced.  I'll even link you because he's phenomenal.  What you'll notice is that apart from this weird thing he does when he closes his eyes for 10 seconds and opens them slowly, he's really funny and personable, you could go out to eat with him and he'd be fantastic to be around.  You don't have to act like Jesus, you can be a fun charismatic brother who just has a bit more emotional mastery and other benefits of this work

 


Comprehensive list of techniques: https://sites.google.com/site/psychospiritualtools/Home/meditation-practices

I appreciate criticism!  Be as critical/nitpicky as you like and don't hold your blows

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7 hours ago, traveler said:

I’m 19 years old and my life has barely started yet, and I’m having this knowledge! I’m not ready to give up my family. I’m living with my parents! I was suffering before this shift in consciousness, but now I stand in the middle of ego and spirit. I have lost the old me from one day to another, and now I’m so lost in the truth of existance. I’m aware that I have to give up everything to achieve total enlightenment, but I’m not ready for that! How are my parents gonna react to the changes in me when they come back from vacation? How am I supposed to let my family go?! The thing is I feel I’m stuck. There so many expectations of me at this age from my parents, I don’t even have a job. How am I gonna navigate through my life, with this detachment from the illusion everyone is living in? 

This is monkey mind, worrisome overthinking.  You are at the helm, there is no assertion.  Do relaxing things. 

7 hours ago, traveler said:

I’m 19 years old and my life has barely started yet, and I’m having this knowledge! I’m not ready to give up my family

Then don’t. Take a break, relax. It’s a thought, let it go.  Yes I understand exactly what you’re saying. That you are giving anything up, is a thought. Relax, let it go.

So why not try to emerge yourself into the illusion everybody is living

Let this thought go. That’s not actually a thing. The illusion is already your default.

Instead of walking the long, lonely, detached and suffering road of enlightenment?”

So you can see for yourself what that fear really is. Just slow down, make time for some peace. 🙏🏻❤️

Honesty, humility, not easy at 19, but that’s the peace catching net, if you will. Take solace there. You’ll be surprised as you start noticing there are actually many who are awake, have been through this,  and are loving life. 

“First time you feel it might make you sad
Next time you feel it might make you mad
But you'll be glad, when you've found
That's the power that makes the world go round”

https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=KCkgYhtz64U

“Would it be a disaster for me to do this, knowing within myself what life really is?”

If you knew what life really is, you wouldn’t be asking about disaster. Relax. 

 


  Nonduality & Meditations          Have You Worked On Your Alone?

Empty your head, fill your heart.            

 

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6 hours ago, traveler said:

Is it really for the best to hurt everyone you care about, to attain enlightenment?

This is a very poor framing of the situation.

Imagine if I convinced myself that my learning mathematics would hurt everyone I care about.

Enlightenment makes you more capable of helping, loving, and healing everyone you care about. This is the proper framing.


"Be melting snow. Wash yourself of yourself." -- Rumi

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10 hours ago, zambize said:

How are you acting differently that she cried?

 

I've been really detached from everything. My family is on vacation, so it's just me and my sister home. We where supposed to eat together, but I haven't had any appetite. We where supposed to watch movies together, but movies are hard to watch in this state. I'm overall just not there, and she can feel it. I had to tell her what was going on and that I had changed from one day to the next, because I had seen something, but she has no idea what I'm talking about. She thinks I'm going insane, and she's angry that I'm not like everybody else.

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4 hours ago, Leo Gura said:

This is a very poor framing of the situation.

Imagine if I convinced myself that my learning mathematics would hurt everyone I care about.

Enlightenment makes you more capable of helping, loving, and healing everyone you care about. This is the proper framing.

The reason I say this is because of the "Dark night of the soul" thing. People talk about going through this stage for years. I can't do that. I've read about enlightenment a lot and almost everyone goes through years of hell to finally reach it and then a couple of years later go back to hell. I've already seen too much to go back, so what am I gonna do? live through this dark period until I give up on everything in my ego, including my loved ones?

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You can just exit that state and I think it will be better for you if you will , because it seems to have negative effect on your development. 

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9 hours ago, Nahm said:

Instead of walking the long, lonely, detached and suffering road of enlightenment?”

So you can see for yourself what that fear really is. Just slow down, make time for some peace. 🙏🏻❤️

Honesty, humility, not easy at 19, but that’s the peace catching net, if you will. Take solace there. You’ll be surprised as you start noticing there are actually many who are awake, have been through this,  and are loving life. 

 

But how does one walk down that road in the middle of the drama of everyday life? How long did it take for your to get through this stage? How did it influence the people around you while you where in this stage? How are you living a normal life, with problems you know is just illusionary. How do you look at your family knowing that they really don't exist, that you are nothing different from them, while they look back at you having no clue what is going on with you? It's all really emotionally draining. I feel a big lump in my belly when I think these things, and that is the reason I can't eat anything. 

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9 minutes ago, purerogue said:

You can just exit that state and I think it will be better for you if you will , because it seems to have negative effect on your development. 

have you gone through this?

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1 minute ago, traveler said:

have you gone through this?

Yes and I would advise you to leave that perception.  

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7 minutes ago, purerogue said:

Yes and I would advise you to leave that perception.  

Did you do that? The reason I'm holding on is because I know that I was a wreck before this happened too. I had been seeking an answer to life for so long, that was my only real goal before, but now that I have it it's not exactly what I was expecting. Did you just go fully back to your ego, or did you try to be content in the middle?

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5 minutes ago, traveler said:

Did you do that? The reason I'm holding on is because I know that I was a wreck before this happened too. I had been seeking an answer to life for so long, that was my only real goal before, but now that I have it it's not exactly what I was expecting. Did you just go fully back to your ego, or did you try to be content in the middle?

I went back to full ego , but there is important thing to understand that it is just experience , so you still have to get middle ground, it took me like 6 months to deal with consequences of this experience, as it shatter your reality, just take it as experience that will help you later in your life, do not let it get you depressed.

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