Opening Up and Stage Turquoise emotions

[Alex14]

After watching the episode on masculinity vs femeninity I saw the importance of, as a male, also being emotional. I’ve noticed I’m having very hard time opening up, being more emotional and not so emotionally “autistic”. I really see the need now and I’m starting to get desperate. I can’t express my self. I don’t know it it is insecurity or something like that. How can I let go and be emotionally free? I want to be able to express my self as I want. I want to experience the joy of being confident, with no worries, and I mean this to the enlightenment level. Not fake confidence, real confidence, being ok and calm even if you’ll literally die. Stage turquoise kind of confidence and attitude.

[Hellspeed]

Society blames this. but when you encounter a handsome man with a very deep voice, people freak out in a good way. Dwelve into the feminine side, it won't bite, is the source of the beautiful and blissful, completed with the manly side brings pure extasis. 

[Forestluv]

3 hours ago, Alex14 said:

After watching the episode on masculinity vs femeninity I saw the importance of, as a male, also being emotional. I’ve noticed I’m having very hard time opening up, being more emotional and not so emotionally “autistic”. I really see the need now and I’m starting to get desperate. I can’t express my self. I don’t know it it is insecurity or something like that. How can I let go and be emotionally free? I want to be able to express my self as I want. I want to experience the joy of being confident, with no worries, and I mean this to the enlightenment level. Not fake confidence, real confidence, being ok and calm even if you’ll literally die. Stage turquoise kind of confidence and attitude.

Hmmm, do you want to open up emotionally? Or do you want to remove emotions that you think are in the way of you feeling confident?

If you want to open up emotionally, how about becoming friends with all of your emotions including: insecurity, empathy, vulnerability, tenderness, compassion, sadness, love, appreciation. For me, confidence is not something I create. That is fake confidence as you say. Real confidence comes with letting go of the ego and becoming comfortable experiencing and expressing all of your emotions and allowing others the space to express their emotions to you. In doing so, we can form meaningful human connections. 

[YaNanNallari]

Learn to stay with the emotion of resistance

[Alex14]

@Serotoninluv How can I let go of the ego?

[Wyze]

@Alex14 realize; its not about you.

[Forestluv]

2 hours ago, Alex14 said:

@Serotoninluv How can I let go of the ego?

I used to repress emotions. This is based on my experience:

1. Do whatever you need to do to relax the mind. If you mind is in full-blown chatter mode during meditation try something else. Running, yoga, reading about spirituality, a bath, shamanic breathing. Whatever you need to do relax the mind. I made virtually no progress with a hyper-active mind.

2. During periods when your mind slows down is your opportunity. For me, there were small "gaps" between thoughts. Those are golden. It is in the gaps in which the "observer" can appear. One exercise I would do is to imagine thoughts are like logs. I imagined myself on the bank of a river watching logs (thoughts) float down the river.

3. Over and over and over again, I would jump on a log and start thinking. Then realize I was thinking. Back to the riverbank (or back to your breath). A beginner mind needs something to ground itself - like a riverbank or the breath. Counting breaths can be great. It's too difficult to simply sit in silence without thought. Aint gonna happen for a while. Recognizing thinking is a big step forward. Observing thoughts is an enormous step forward.

4. Every time a thought arose, I would pause and label it "thought" and return to the breath. Every time I recognized I was lost in thought I would label it "thinking" and return to the breath. Every time a feeling arose I would label it "feeling" and return to the breath. This is developing the "observer" stage. The observer is closer to the "real you" than thoughts and feelings. Every time you label a thought or feeling you are the observer telling the ego "I see you". . . This stage sucks. There is no way to sugar-coat it. It's really uncomfortable and the ego will have very strong resistance. You will encounter boredom, frustration and think it's a waste of time and question whether it's worth it. Over time, the observer will gain distance from thoughts and feelings.

5. Once I felt a strong sense of an observer, there was *much* less attachment / identification with thoughts and feelings. Then, they were allowed to "just be" and could be observed without judgement or criticism. Insecurity was allowed to just be. Then the insights appear: hmmm, isn't it interesting the insecurity arises whenever XXX happens. The source of the insecurity may be revealed. Insecurity isn't "bad" anymore. 

6. The next stage is learning about "your story" and your personality. All the different dynamics of your personality. It gets super interesting when the observer is no longer attached / identified as the personality. Over time, the ego is no longer the biggest show in town. . . 

[Alex14]

1 hour ago, Serotoninluv said:

I used to repress emotions. This is based on my experience:

1. Do whatever you need to do to relax the mind. If you mind is in full-blown chatter mode during meditation try something else. Running, yoga, reading about spirituality, a batch, shamanic breathing. Whatever you need to do relax the mind. I made virtually no progress with a hyper-active mind.

2. During periods when your mind slows down is your opportunity. For me, there were small "gaps" between thoughts. Those are golden. It is in the gaps in which the "observer" can appear. One exercise I would do is to imagine thoughts are like logs. I imagined myself on the bank of a river watching logs (thoughts) float down the river.

3. Over and over and over again, I would jump on a log and start thinking. Then realize I was thinking. Back to the riverbank (or back to your breath). A begginner mind needs something to ground itself - like a riverbank or the breath. Counting breaths can be great. It's too difficult to simply sit in silence without thought. Aint gonna happen for a while. Recognizing thinking is a big step forward. Observing thoughts is an enormous step forward.

4. Every time a thought arose, I would pause and label it "thought" and return to the breath. Every time I recognized I was lost in thought I would label it "thinking" and return to the breath. Every time a feeling arose I would label it "feeling" and return to the breath. This is developing the "observer" stage. The observer is closer to the "real you" than thoughts are feelings. Every time you label a thought or feeling you are the observer telling the ego "I see you". . . This stage sucks. There is no way to sugar-coat it. It's really uncomfortable and the ego will have very strong resistance. You will encounter boredom, frustration and think it's a waste of time and question whether it's worth it. Over time, the observer will gain distance from thoughts and feelings.

5. Once I felt a strong sense of an observer, there was *much* less attachment / identification with thoughts and feelings. Then, they were allowed to "just be" and could be observed without judgement or criticism. Insecurity was allowed to just be. Then the insights appear: hmmm, isn't it interesting the insecurity arises whenever XXX happens. The source of the insecurity may be revealed. Insecurity is "bad" anymore. 

6. The next stage is learning about "your story" and your personality. All the different dynamics of your personality. It gets super interesting when the observer is no longer attached / identified as the personality. Over time, the ego is no longer the biggest show in town. . . 

Much appreciated