MM1988

Need help with an apparent contradiction

13 posts in this topic

Strong negative emotions:

Leo says allow it to happen and feel it fully and surrender. Its as if the emotion will run through you anyway and there is nothing you can do so you surrender to it.

Sedona says to let it go. Go through the process a couple of times so you let the emotion go and feel better. It also says an emotion once let go wont come back. This seems like the opposite of surrender, it seems like the goal is to get rid of the emotion.

 

Im sure these two somehow point to the same thing but I cant see how.

Edited by MM1988

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've had quite some strong negative emotions mysef, as anyone I guess. The way I dealt with them is best explained by David R. Hawkins in his book Letting go, the pathway of surrender. You basically allow yourself to fully feel the emotion without repressing it, judjing it or distracting yourself. You feel it and look at it as an observer. In might take some sessions but it will soon go. After that emotion might come another one, like the peels of an onion. To me it seems both say more or less the same, when you let it go, you stop repressing it and you can feel it fully, then you might have a realization and it will be gone.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Evelyn With some emotions, for example my depression or a rejection I allowed myself to feel it fully a lot but it always comes back often within the same day. Not another issue like with the onion example but the same exact thing. Especially the depression and loneliness stuff is very persistent for me.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Outer stop posting this self enquiry nonsense in every thread, its not the solution for every issue here.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Outer no shit, getting spontaniously enlightened would solve everyones problems here in a split second but its not gonna happen because of your answers, everyone here knows how self enquiry works. Some people need a lower level solution.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
38 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

@Evelyn With some emotions, for example my depression or a rejection I allowed myself to feel it fully a lot but it always comes back often within the same day. Not another issue like with the onion example but the same exact thing. Especially the depression and loneliness stuff is very persistent for me.

Depression can encompass quite a large spectrum of feelings, it is quite big and hard to grab. I also had depression for the some time and it was not just one thing, but many things that caused it. Try to go bit by bit and you will see it will go away. I solved some of my issues by doing this technique called digging, where you narrow it down to the main cause and then you let it go. (I read about digging in the book Theta healing, and I combined with the letting go from the other book).

So you have loneliness. You ask yourself: when was the first time I felt lonely?  What happened then?  (Here you might find a past trauma or event) You can also ask what would happen if you were completely and utterly alone?  How would you feel?  What is the worst thing that can happen when you are alone?  Etc. You go from question to question until you discover the root cause.

I did this with a friend who was afraid of flights. I asked him what would be the worst thing that could happen? He said to have an accident and fall. And how would you feel?  Very shocked. And when was the first time you felt like that?  When my dad humiliated me in front of my peers and let me cry and did not help me. Taadaan. So the fear of flights had a root in a childhood trauma. 

So you take depression on step at a time and find all the causes. Note not all causes are rooted in trauma. It can be a running program you have or a belief, like being pitiful makes me get attention, etc. 

Indeed, enlightenment can happen in a second, but for many of us mortals we have to go peel by peel... 

 

Edited by Evelyn

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@Evelyn thanks. Does it always result in a childhood trauma? Couldnt it be lots of less tragic and more minor things combined over time, because I think thats what it is for me but I'll dig into it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

@MM1988 If you feel/accept/surrender to the emotion in order to get rid of it, it's not a real acceptance. That's still resistance and avoidance. You have to surrender to it to the extend that you feel the emotion for all of eternity and be ok with it.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Letting go is the same as surrendering. You don't let go of emotions, problems, attachments etc. as you would let go of something solid in your hand, but let go in the sense that you allow whatever arises to arise. It is sticky, and part of your being. Letting go is a process of allowing what you previously repressed, letting your guard down and surrendering to what you previously fought. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
2 minutes ago, MM1988 said:

@Evelyn thanks. Does it always result in a childhood trauma? Couldnt it be lots of less tragic and more minor things combined over time, because I think thats what it is for me but I'll dig into it.

Yes,  I just edited my reply to include that ;)). It can be a running program or a belief (for instance you are fat and cannot lose weight, then you might have the programs: if I am fat I am attractive, if I am fat I am safe, etc.,) They run into your subconscious without you even realizing. You can check the book Theta healing by Vianna Stibal. She has a method in which you find and replace those beliefs and programs. 

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
4 minutes ago, WindInTheLeaf said:

Letting go is the same as surrendering. You don't let go of emotions, problems, attachments etc. as you would let go of something solid in your hand, but let go in the sense that you allow whatever arises to arise. It is sticky, and part of your being. Letting go is a process of allowing what you previously repressed, letting your guard down and surrendering to what you previously fought. 

Or something like that. Now don't hold on to the idea that you must let go, that could take you into all kinds of trouble. Let go of even the idea that you must let go. Just be. Be what? Just be. Doesn't matter who you are, just that you are you. Then the whole self-actualization happens by itself.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Letting go and surrendering is the same thing really - you have no control over it anyhow, so you cannot do anything even if you wanted. 

In both cases you have to experience it rather than resist it.

Edited by Flammable

You see, the reason you want to be better, is the reason why you aren’t. Shall I put it like that?

We aren't better, because we want to be.

                                                                                                                                                 ~ Alan Watts

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
1 hour ago, MM1988 said:

@Evelyn With some emotions, for example my depression or a rejection I allowed myself to feel it fully a lot but it always comes back often within the same day. Not another issue like with the onion example but the same exact thing. Especially the depression and loneliness stuff is very persistent for me.

Emotion is caused by specific thought. Eg, if you persistently think negative thoughts about yourself that thought will keep making you depressed. Or if you keep thinking of a rejection you will naturally continue to feel rejected. Same with loneliness. Watch what you are thinking.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!


Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.


Sign In Now