From Orange pickup to Green Authenticity

[Nexeternity]

Hey!!  I needed to make this post because I finally made the journey from orange to green in relationships and its really really good.

I was very insecure growing up and got super into pickup.  It worked but I was never able to build a truly authentic relationship without manipulations from both sides.

When I decided to go green, to always tell the truth, to be nice, to not hide my fears, neediness, and insecurities from people.  Well my "results" went to hell.

I didnt get laid for more than a year and it was terrible! haha

But in all that time I kept on doing inner work, accepting myself, working on my passions, being as authentic as I could be and really just surrendering all forms of manipulations or attachment to getting a result.

Then I naturally got into this cool dance called contact improvisation, something I really liked and that exposes me to meeting alot of new people... and yea, lots of amazing girls.

And I just kept treating everyone nicely, making friends and then I started just getting into situations where I met girls that liked me how I was!  I didnt have to be macho or perfect, or rich, or "cool" or whatever. 

Just being a relaxed, loving, friendly, honest guy was enough for these girls.

I think the problem when you try and do this when you are in orange is that your "truth" sucks.  You are always out to get something, to achieve something, to be better, trying to make yourself look cool and stuff and needing to hide a bunch of things from people in the process.

So yea... this was kinda my journey so far.

I think what happen is when you change values from orange to green your environment takes a while to change so lets say if I was meeting "orange" girls, they wont resonate with you, basically they wont like you, and you will still have plenty of unconscious or automatic orange in you so the green value girls wont like you either. 

You hit this transition perior where its hard to be attractive to any girl.

Anyways... the point is that changing your values to something more green and exposing yourself to lots of green people is really amazing in the long run but you might suffer a long dry spell in the process.

Thanks for reading!  I really wanted to share this 

[Truth]

Yeah man, going green is tough, even if you're courageous enough to be open with all your insecurities, fears etc. it still comes off as you being kind of a vag. You're basically saying "Here's all my problems and emotions. What do you think?" and girls don't really wanna hear or deal with that, they already have their own problems and insecurities, and in fact (if you're playing the male gender role) then it's your job to be able to handle her emotions and take care of her the best that you can. Not vice versa and this can kill the relationship. 

Edited July 6, 2018 by Truth

[Nexeternity]

@Truth  Yes!  What you say happened to me alot.  But eventually I started meeting very developed greener girls who didnt judge me, and you start healing your wounds.  With less wounds, less insecurities and problems, and now you are actually more attractive authentically without having to put up a front.

Truth eventually dismantles all your fears and problems... its so cool how that happens.

[JustinS]

On 7/5/2018 at 10:15 PM, Truth said:

Here's all my problems and emotions. What do you think?" and girls don't really wanna hear or deal with that,

@Truth To some extent yes, but i think you're still mainly talking about Orange girls. In my experience green girls love this. They see that it is harder to open up than to hold on (in reality it's harder to hold on) and so it makes you different; more emotional, more relatable, more touchy feely/expressive. But of course if you're constantly whining and bitching throughout your day, thats probably going to annoy everyone. 

Edited July 7, 2018 by JustinS

[Nexeternity]

@JustinS @Truth   Yes exactly, green girls love that you can express your problems and emotions.  But yea, it helps to have a baseline of joy and fun that you can also share with the girl.  Maybe being able to laugh and joke about your problems.  Its not really about needing opinion or help with them, its just that you are not really hiding them, and naturally in convesation they come up and you express them, but you can also move on and not overly dwell on them. 

[JustinS]

@Nexeternity Yes. The transparency, the lightness, the easinessss of a person. 

[d0ornokey]

I feel so indoctrined from RSD culture into thinking that I have to be alpha to get the girl. 

It's really actually possible to get a girl from being VULNERABLE? You're saying do game with your insecurities on your sleeve?????

WHAT??!!

I NEED TO SEE THIS IN PERSON

 

I HOPE IT"S TRUE

 

authenticity is scary. but i think not being authentic is scarier

Edited July 7, 2018 by d0ornokey

[Nexeternity]

@d0ornokey   Yes it is!!  Its unbelievable.  I knew it was possible but until it happened to me I didnt believe it either.  

The thing is though, if you are still "trying to get the girl" or "gaming" you are operating from orange, trying to achieve something.

When you can drop that and just share yourself with others, actually interested in friendship, in the fraternal bond you have between yourself and all others, then you will naturally cross paths with cool, friendly girls, resonate with them, and yea, share yourself, including your sexuality with some of them.

Its like you got to connect more with your heart than with your dick hehe.

Most of us dont realize what a cool, fun, loving, and attractive person we are deep inside when we throw away all manipulation and inauthenticity. 

 

[Ayilton]

45 minutes ago, Nexeternity said:

 

Its like you got to connect more with your heart than with your dick hehe

????? ! A heart centered approach to pickup, Without much thinking and manipulation , it's just being in the zone and see how you too can enjoy each moment!  

Cause life is short buddie 

[Nexeternity]

1 hour ago, Ayilton said:

????? ! A heart centered approach to pickup, Without much thinking and manipulation , it's just being in the zone and see how you too can enjoy each moment!  

Cause life is short buddie 

Yes!  Except its not pickup anymore hehe.  

Throw away the seduction, throw away the games, the sexy looks lol.  Not to say you cant play or be sexy but you are not trying to do it, if it happens it happens.

Its like... you know how you can share coffee or an icecream, or an afternoon at the park with a friend?  Its like if you could also share your sexuality, or your body with a girl.  With no weirdness, no shame, no lies...  just being open with people and eventually matching up, two people being attracted to each other as they are, imperfect, normal, innocently, happily celebrating life together.

I know it sounds like some fantasy, some ideal scenario disconnected from reality but... its possible, its something that can be constructed little by little between all of us heh.

[Truth]

@Nexeternity @JustinS Yeah I was talking about Orange girls for sure. I need to meet some Greener girls, I still think it's very important to wear your heart on your sleeve, as long as you stay grounded. (Not whining and bitching and moaning throughout the day/your life about it as @JustinS said)

There's this girl I saw on youtube that is Green/Blue and is a perfect example of a girl that I would love to have in my life haha. 

 

 

 

 

 

Edited July 7, 2018 by Truth

[Icarus]

Maybe it's less of a transitioning into green than a giving up on your pick up and dating game, because you realise it's not effective. Maybe it has less to do with your personality or game or whatever than with the fact that you're undesirable because of your genetics. Maybe it in fact has to do with your facial aesthetics, your height, your stature in the first place, and in addition to that your insecurity which is rightfully there on a deep subconscious level.

Maybe you were not meant to procreate and there are more superior genes out there for girls that they can have than yours. Maybe they know that and you know that, hence your insecurities, on a very subconscious level. 

It's a possibility, even if it doesn't give you the nice feelings of "transitioning from orange to green", so let's just go with that... or dig deeper into the other possibility, for the sake of truth?!?

[Truth]

2 hours ago, Icarus said:

Maybe it's less of a transitioning into green than a giving up on your pick up and dating game, because you realise it's not effective. Maybe it has less to do with your personality or game or whatever than with the fact that you're undesirable because of your genetics. Maybe it in fact has to do with your facial aesthetics, your height, your stature in the first place, and in addition to that your insecurity which is rightfully there on a deep subconscious level.

Maybe you were not meant to procreate and there are more superior genes out there for girls that they can have than yours. Maybe they know that and you know that, hence your insecurities, on a very subconscious level. 

It's a possibility, even if it doesn't give you the nice feelings of "transitioning from orange to green", so let's just go with that... or dig deeper into the other possibility, for the sake of truth?!?

LOL Pure stage Orange thinking right here.

Why would you box yourself in to such a limited view of reality, this is exactly the type of thinking people like Eliot Rodger and sub-cultures like Incels use to play the victim and stay stuck.

Edited July 7, 2018 by Truth

[Icarus]

6 minutes ago, Truth said:

LOL Pure stage Orange thinking right here.

And as with any stage - it might carry some truth. Do you want to explore it or put a colour label onto it?

It's obvious that what I stated has a rational cold hearted approach, which you could call "orange", doesn't make it less valid (potentially).

 

Your comment therefore delivers absolutely no value. Oh it's not supposed to do so, it's a green comment huh? LOL.

 

No, seriously, if you don't eat for 30 days, you'll probably die. Thats rudimentary. That's stage RED. And guess what, that's TRUE

[Truth]

27 minutes ago, Icarus said:

And as with any stage - it might carry some truth. Do you want to explore it or put a colour label onto it?

It's obvious that what I stated has a rational cold hearted approach, which you could call "orange", doesn't make it less valid (potentially).

 

Your comment therefore delivers absolutely no value. Oh it's not supposed to do so, it's a green comment huh? LOL.

 

No, seriously, if you don't eat for 30 days, you'll probably die. Thats rudimentary. That's stage RED. And guess what, that's TRUE

Stay stuck for all I care lol, I'm not saying the things you said are somehow not valid and shouldn't be considered into the equation, I'm saying they're completely misguided and ignorant to deny having an intangible such as confidence (the number 1 thing women are attracted to) dismissed and pushed aside for all that other crap. 

Confidence doesn't limit itself and box itself in with your type of thinking.

Yeah, consider those things, but don't make that the main focus compared to the big fish that is confidence and imperturbableness, the intangibles. 

 

Edited July 7, 2018 by Truth

[SFRL]

All this Holy Grail Green stuff is bullshit.

I have seen plenty of well functioning long lasting relationships where both people really love each other between Solid blue, Blue-Orange, Orange-Green, and solid Green people. It happens at all stages.

People are starting to treat Green as the magic be all end all pill.

[Icarus]

29 minutes ago, Truth said:

Stay stuck for all I care lol, I'm not saying the things you said are somehow not valid and shouldn't be considered into the equation, I'm saying they're completely misguided and ignorant to deny having an intangible such as confidence (the number 1 thing women are attracted to) dismissed and pushed aside for all that other crap. 

Confidence doesn't limit itself and box itself in with your type of thinking.

Yeah, consider those things, but don't make that the main focus compared to the big fish that is confidence and imperturbableness, the intangibles. 

 

Sorry, but this is straight up stupid. None of these girls would have dated him. Definition of confidence: 

"belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; "

Yeah belief in your powers to attract girls if you cant attract them, lol.

 

Of course confidence is attractive to any human. But especially in sexual context it definitely has it's limits, just as OP experienced and anybody who actually executes PU

I'm out. This video shows you're probably 18 and have no clue about sexual dynamics

 

Kind regads

[JustinS]

@SFRL Wait til you hear about what Yellow relationships look like, oOo it'll surely make your panties wet.

[Truth]

23 minutes ago, Icarus said:

Sorry, but this is straight up stupid. None of these girls would have dated him. Definition of confidence: 

"belief in oneself and one's powers or abilities; self-confidence; self-reliance; "

Yeah belief in your powers to attract girls if you cant attract them, lol.

 

Of course confidence is attractive to any human. But especially in sexual context it definitely has it's limits, just as OP experienced and anybody who actually executes PU

I'm out. This video shows you're probably 18 and have no clue about sexual dynamics

 

Kind regads

You don't even know what confidence is  in reality. to you its just a definition in your text book lol

30 minutes ago, SFRL said:

 

People are starting to treat Green as the magic be all end all pill.

lol no that's just your thinking/projection. Spiral dynamics is just a map. its not the territory. Its just pointers.

Edited July 7, 2018 by Truth

[SFRL]

@Truth right exactly....the map is not the territory.